[Discworld/Saiyuki] A Nice Young Man (Hakkai & Nanny Ogg, PG-13)
Title: A Nice Young Man
Characters: Hakkai, Nanny Ogg, and Supporting Cast Of Characters.
Rating: PG-13
Notes: A game of poker. See here and here for the previous installments in this terrible thing. ~700 words.
The witches liked to play poker. They especially liked to play poker against nice young men who thought a pair of old ladies might just make an easy target. They didn't do it too often, but from time to time it was nice to indulge. Just a little.
"Cor," said Nanny Ogg, peering over Gojyo's shoulder to look at his cards. "Looks complicated."
Esme shot her a sharp look from the bar, which she strategically failed to notice.
"Not really," Hakkai said, and smiled up at her. Oh, dear. He was trying so hard to seem like a Nice Young Man. "Gojyo was just going to bed. I can show you how to play if you like."
"H--" Gojyo started, and Nanny Ogg could only guess that Hakkai kicked him in the shins around then, because it turned into a whimper. She'd never have guessed from Hakkai himself. He didn't move an inch. "Yeah, uh, yes. I'll, uhm, see you in the morning, Nanny."
He folded his cards up, downed his drink, and blew her a kiss on his way to the stairs. Hakkai's smile didn't really slip, but something very odd did happen to it for just a moment.
"Right," said Nanny, and slipped herself into the chair Gojyo had just vacated. "Mine's a pint of bitter, and then you can tell me all about these funny little card things, Mister Cho."
"Please," Hakkai said. "Call me Hakkai."
He fetched her a drink, and shuffled the deck of cards.
She let him win for a bit, and then just happened to notice the odd marks on the corner of the cards.
"Oh dear," Hakkai said, and frowned. "Are we playing with Gojyo's deck? I'm terribly sorry. He doesn't use those very much these days, but he never did get around to replacing his cards."
"Oh, really?" Nanny Ogg asked, in tones of interest. "What're they for?"
"Cheating," Hakkai said, and then explained exactly how one could win a game of poker by means of funny little marks on the corners of cards, which was not quite how that stage was meant to go, but then, Hakkai was clearly not quite the usual nice young man in a pub.
Nanny Ogg leered happily. "But you wouldn't use something like that on a dear old woman like meself."
"Of course not," Hakkai murmured pleasantly, and switched his smile back on.
It was a long night, mostly because he actually wasn't cheating in any way she'd come across before. The number of royal flushes he got was more than suspect, but there were no conveniently placed mirrors, and he had nothing up his sleeves, and it was just about possible that he played a bit better with an unmarked pack of cards than he had with the marked one. "Because Gojyo told me it's not good to play too well early in the night," he explained with apparent earnestness.
"Very good friend of yours, ain't he?" Nanny asked, hopeful of a possible distraction tactic.
"Mostly," Hakkai said. "We do have sex as well, though."
Then he won again.
It took her a while to notice, because she was laughing too hard, cackling away so loudly that she felt Granny's disapproving sniff from the other side of the room rather than hearing it.
"Yeah, I reckon you do," she managed finally, only wheezing a bit. "Don't break 'im, young man, that's all I can say."
They played until the bar emptied, and by the end of it she was fairly sure he only wanted to kill her in the way he wanted to kill everyone in the world, not the specific way he'd been thinking about earlier.
"Such a nice boy," she told Esme later, as Esme helped her up the stairs to bed.
"He's psychotic," Esme snapped, "and I don't like the way he plays. He's covered in blood, too."
"Esme. Don't ruin my fun."
Esme just snorted.
"You could learn a thing or two from him," she said happily, and belched. He had fed her quite a few pints, hadn't he? "Such a nice boy..."
And then she started to snore. Fortunately Granny Weatherwax had got her into her room by then, and only had to work on disentangling herself.
Characters: Hakkai, Nanny Ogg, and Supporting Cast Of Characters.
Rating: PG-13
Notes: A game of poker. See here and here for the previous installments in this terrible thing. ~700 words.
The witches liked to play poker. They especially liked to play poker against nice young men who thought a pair of old ladies might just make an easy target. They didn't do it too often, but from time to time it was nice to indulge. Just a little.
"Cor," said Nanny Ogg, peering over Gojyo's shoulder to look at his cards. "Looks complicated."
Esme shot her a sharp look from the bar, which she strategically failed to notice.
"Not really," Hakkai said, and smiled up at her. Oh, dear. He was trying so hard to seem like a Nice Young Man. "Gojyo was just going to bed. I can show you how to play if you like."
"H--" Gojyo started, and Nanny Ogg could only guess that Hakkai kicked him in the shins around then, because it turned into a whimper. She'd never have guessed from Hakkai himself. He didn't move an inch. "Yeah, uh, yes. I'll, uhm, see you in the morning, Nanny."
He folded his cards up, downed his drink, and blew her a kiss on his way to the stairs. Hakkai's smile didn't really slip, but something very odd did happen to it for just a moment.
"Right," said Nanny, and slipped herself into the chair Gojyo had just vacated. "Mine's a pint of bitter, and then you can tell me all about these funny little card things, Mister Cho."
"Please," Hakkai said. "Call me Hakkai."
He fetched her a drink, and shuffled the deck of cards.
She let him win for a bit, and then just happened to notice the odd marks on the corner of the cards.
"Oh dear," Hakkai said, and frowned. "Are we playing with Gojyo's deck? I'm terribly sorry. He doesn't use those very much these days, but he never did get around to replacing his cards."
"Oh, really?" Nanny Ogg asked, in tones of interest. "What're they for?"
"Cheating," Hakkai said, and then explained exactly how one could win a game of poker by means of funny little marks on the corners of cards, which was not quite how that stage was meant to go, but then, Hakkai was clearly not quite the usual nice young man in a pub.
Nanny Ogg leered happily. "But you wouldn't use something like that on a dear old woman like meself."
"Of course not," Hakkai murmured pleasantly, and switched his smile back on.
It was a long night, mostly because he actually wasn't cheating in any way she'd come across before. The number of royal flushes he got was more than suspect, but there were no conveniently placed mirrors, and he had nothing up his sleeves, and it was just about possible that he played a bit better with an unmarked pack of cards than he had with the marked one. "Because Gojyo told me it's not good to play too well early in the night," he explained with apparent earnestness.
"Very good friend of yours, ain't he?" Nanny asked, hopeful of a possible distraction tactic.
"Mostly," Hakkai said. "We do have sex as well, though."
Then he won again.
It took her a while to notice, because she was laughing too hard, cackling away so loudly that she felt Granny's disapproving sniff from the other side of the room rather than hearing it.
"Yeah, I reckon you do," she managed finally, only wheezing a bit. "Don't break 'im, young man, that's all I can say."
They played until the bar emptied, and by the end of it she was fairly sure he only wanted to kill her in the way he wanted to kill everyone in the world, not the specific way he'd been thinking about earlier.
"Such a nice boy," she told Esme later, as Esme helped her up the stairs to bed.
"He's psychotic," Esme snapped, "and I don't like the way he plays. He's covered in blood, too."
"Esme. Don't ruin my fun."
Esme just snorted.
"You could learn a thing or two from him," she said happily, and belched. He had fed her quite a few pints, hadn't he? "Such a nice boy..."
And then she started to snore. Fortunately Granny Weatherwax had got her into her room by then, and only had to work on disentangling herself.