Dude. The world is seriously lacking in the Jon Bates looove department, which is why I like to try and spread it where ever I go. Unfortunately people don't want to hear it, I guess, because they're always like "STFU ABOUT JON BATES." It's horrible. :( Especially since I only talk about three things, really: Jon Bates, Matthew Broderick, and David Sedaris. IT'S NOT MY FAULT THEY'RE ALL SO CUTE. People just don't understand.
But one time (I guess when I get going about Jon I just don't shut up because this comment has officially crossed the line between kind of relevant and completely unnecessary in every way. This might be why people get frustrated with me, actually), I did some arts of Jon (it was stippling, so it wasn't even real art because basically that's just tracing and then shading with dots) and people loved it. That was the one time I brought Jon to the masses and they couldn't get enough! I chose the picture in my icon, right? And it has a pretty detailed background, so people thought it was really good art, and they kept giving me awards and stuff. And I was like, "WTF??"
Seriously. That story wasn't even important and now this is the longest comment in the universe. I have a problem.
I couldn't agree with you more. People don't want to hear the gospel from me either, they're too lazy to download a song I uploaded specifically for that purpose! WTF. My boyfriend refers to Jon as the "other man" in my life. Basically he's the only one I ever talk about; thou shalt not have Gods besides Jon Bates. (David Sedaris, though! I can't believe anybody else thinks David Sedaris is cute!)
And exactly. Whenever I play Mellowdrone in my car when I have to drive my lazy ass friends around, they go "OH THIS IS GOOD, THIS GUY HAS A WONDERFUL VOICE", and I'm like "Duhhhhh". Glad you got yourself some awards, really. I'm yet to record the song I wrote about him but I'm sure it'll win me a Grammy. Or, uh, something.
It's love, not a problem. If you wanna talk, though, turn to me. I'm a therapist. *thumbs up*
Oh my God, the internets hate me. If this doesn't post this time I might be forced to slice a bitch. This is unacceptable.
My friends have a general hatred for Mellowdrone, I think. It's probably because my friends are morons, but it doesn't matter to me much. It still doesn't stop me from making them listen to Mellowdrone whenever I'm around or dragging them to Mellowdrone concerts (well, concert). If I have to put up with their screamo 24/7 the least they could do is pretend to like Mellowdrone for a little bit.
And David, well. David is adorable. He is the cutest man ever and there are times when I wish he weren't gay because I really think we could make some pretty amazing babies. But it's cool, because I taught him how to draw Matthew Broderick once (like, two weeks ago), and then he gave me lotion. Everyone makes fun of me because I have the biggest, most awkwardly nerdy crush on him... ever, but I can't help it. He is absolutely precious and I <3 his face off.
And you will win a Grammy! Because any song about Jon Bates should automatically win a Grammy, regardless of whether or not it has been recorded. I'm pretty sure it's a requirement or something. The second you write a song about Jon Bates, you are automatically qualified for a Grammy. It's just the way the world works.
Has LJ been treating you badly? Is Melissa gonna hafta choke a bitch?
Luckily my friends don't do screamo. I don't think they really dislike Mellowdrone, either. Except for my boyfriend but he's just jealous. Everybody sings along when I play it in my car and my friend Max and I made up a dance routine to Oh My. Mainly 'cause we're made of win and awesome.
Awwwww, you've met the Sedaris! I'm insanely jealous right now. I developed a crush on him when I bought Me Talk Pretty One Day along with a book by Jonathan Safran Foer and well, I've been swooning over both ever since then, so nobody really questions my crushes anymore. If he's smart, chances are I'll have a crush on him.
If I do win a Grammy, I'll pack it up neatly with a couple of bananas, a kitten and an insane love letter and send it to the man himself. If he still won't marry me then, I give up.
I wouldn't hate screamo so much if it weren't the only thing we ever listen to. I can take it in small doses, but there are only so many times one can listen to screamo in a week before she wants to shoot herself in the face. In art class our teacher lets us put in CD's and that's all we ever listen to. I try to put on Mellowdrone, but people freak out. If they don't listen to screamo, they might die. And the class is at, like, 8:30 in the morning. Who the hell listens to screamo at 8:30 in the morning?! It's so stupid. But apparently Mellowdrone is "too depressing." What?! I just don't get it.
Smart-boys are amazing. And I think that David's probably the most amazing person I've ever met in my entire life. He's so sweet and funny and adorable, and I'm in love with him. I don't know why people still bother questioning my taste in men. I think it's pretty common knowledge that I have a thing for smart men who have little to no pigment and are generally at least ten years older than me. Often more. It also helps if they like to sleep with other men because I guess since I have no chance with any of them, anyway, I can at least convince myself it's because they're not attracted to women.
I don't know how he could say no to that. I mean... bananas AND a kitten? That's the best proposal ever. And then there's the letter and the grammy. Basically, you're a shoo in. If he doesn't accept there's probably something severely wrong with him, even though that's not possible because he's Jon Bates and there is nothing wrong with him, dammit.
Too depressing? Wtf! They're obviously not listening. Honestly, screamo makes me question the state of the world and that always results in depression for me, so I don't see how there's any logic in that. With that said, we used to listen to Duran Duran and Wham! in art class, so yeah, I'm one to talk.
I love your taste in men, I really do. Little to no pigment in combination with a 7+ years age gap totally do it for me.
Once I met Jon at a party my friend was holding and he was thoughtful enough to get me a drink, that's when it all started going downhill for me. He was talking about bounty hunters and then we got into music and I was like "Awwwwwwwwwww!" all the time. It was horrible. What a ridiculously kind man, though. Seriously.
Actually, I'm fairly positive he'll say no unless I put some chocolate in there, so chocolate goes as well. I don't know which kind he likes best so I'll just buy the whole store. Polyamory is totally fine by me, in case you wanna, you know, share.
I guess my computer hates me because I keep trying to reply to you and post shit and everything but it keeps not letting me, so hopefully this works.
I can't even begin to understand the logic behind their argument. I mean, screamo bands are angry with the world, so they scream at it a lot, right? And all they talk about is how much terrible their lives are and how much they want to kill themselves to take the pain ~*~away~*~? I guess I could be wrong because apparently Mellowdrone is somehow more depressing than a genre of music based entirely on self loathing and revenge. But I could hate screamo more. I mean, I don't actually like it, and I'm certainly not going to waste my money on CD's or concerts but since it exists and I have to endure it almost daily, the least I can do is make fun of it a lot. That's really the only thing screamo is good for, and I like that about it. I like that it takes itself so seriously yet somehow manages to be the funniest genre of music everrr. And although I could do without the Wham!, I honestly wouldn't mind listening to Duran Duran in art class. I sort of love them for some reason? I mean, I recognize they're not the greatest band ever and all, but John Taylor's hot and their music is fun, so it doesn't even matter.
I think we're even, jealously wise, then. Because I am insanely jealous of you and your Jon meeting. Especially since it's not like you ran into him after a concert or something. I mean, when I met David, that was at a book signing. It was pretty much guaranteed that I'd meet him. Yours was a thing of chance and luck and stuff. So I am officially jealous of you.
I think that's probably the best system. I have some left over easter chocolates because for some reason my parents still give me easter chocolates, if you'd like to save a little money. They're just caramel eggs and random shit like that, but it's something, right?
But one time (I guess when I get going about Jon I just don't shut up because this comment has officially crossed the line between kind of relevant and completely unnecessary in every way. This might be why people get frustrated with me, actually), I did some arts of Jon (it was stippling, so it wasn't even real art because basically that's just tracing and then shading with dots) and people loved it. That was the one time I brought Jon to the masses and they couldn't get enough! I chose the picture in my icon, right? And it has a pretty detailed background, so people thought it was really good art, and they kept giving me awards and stuff. And I was like, "WTF??"
Seriously. That story wasn't even important and now this is the longest comment in the universe. I have a problem.
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And exactly. Whenever I play Mellowdrone in my car when I have to drive my lazy ass friends around, they go "OH THIS IS GOOD, THIS GUY HAS A WONDERFUL VOICE", and I'm like "Duhhhhh".
Glad you got yourself some awards, really. I'm yet to record the song I wrote about him but I'm sure it'll win me a Grammy. Or, uh, something.
It's love, not a problem. If you wanna talk, though, turn to me. I'm a therapist. *thumbs up*
Reply
My friends have a general hatred for Mellowdrone, I think. It's probably because my friends are morons, but it doesn't matter to me much. It still doesn't stop me from making them listen to Mellowdrone whenever I'm around or dragging them to Mellowdrone concerts (well, concert). If I have to put up with their screamo 24/7 the least they could do is pretend to like Mellowdrone for a little bit.
And David, well. David is adorable. He is the cutest man ever and there are times when I wish he weren't gay because I really think we could make some pretty amazing babies. But it's cool, because I taught him how to draw Matthew Broderick once (like, two weeks ago), and then he gave me lotion. Everyone makes fun of me because I have the biggest, most awkwardly nerdy crush on him... ever, but I can't help it. He is absolutely precious and I <3 his face off.
And you will win a Grammy! Because any song about Jon Bates should automatically win a Grammy, regardless of whether or not it has been recorded. I'm pretty sure it's a requirement or something. The second you write a song about Jon Bates, you are automatically qualified for a Grammy. It's just the way the world works.
Reply
Luckily my friends don't do screamo. I don't think they really dislike Mellowdrone, either. Except for my boyfriend but he's just jealous. Everybody sings along when I play it in my car and my friend Max and I made up a dance routine to Oh My. Mainly 'cause we're made of win and awesome.
Awwwww, you've met the Sedaris! I'm insanely jealous right now.
I developed a crush on him when I bought Me Talk Pretty One Day along with a book by Jonathan Safran Foer and well, I've been swooning over both ever since then, so nobody really questions my crushes anymore. If he's smart, chances are I'll have a crush on him.
If I do win a Grammy, I'll pack it up neatly with a couple of bananas, a kitten and an insane love letter and send it to the man himself. If he still won't marry me then, I give up.
Reply
Smart-boys are amazing. And I think that David's probably the most amazing person I've ever met in my entire life. He's so sweet and funny and adorable, and I'm in love with him. I don't know why people still bother questioning my taste in men. I think it's pretty common knowledge that I have a thing for smart men who have little to no pigment and are generally at least ten years older than me. Often more. It also helps if they like to sleep with other men because I guess since I have no chance with any of them, anyway, I can at least convince myself it's because they're not attracted to women.
I don't know how he could say no to that. I mean... bananas AND a kitten? That's the best proposal ever. And then there's the letter and the grammy. Basically, you're a shoo in. If he doesn't accept there's probably something severely wrong with him, even though that's not possible because he's Jon Bates and there is nothing wrong with him, dammit.
It's nice how much sense that sentence made.
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I love your taste in men, I really do. Little to no pigment in combination with a 7+ years age gap totally do it for me.
Once I met Jon at a party my friend was holding and he was thoughtful enough to get me a drink, that's when it all started going downhill for me. He was talking about bounty hunters and then we got into music and I was like "Awwwwwwwwwww!" all the time. It was horrible. What a ridiculously kind man, though. Seriously.
Actually, I'm fairly positive he'll say no unless I put some chocolate in there, so chocolate goes as well. I don't know which kind he likes best so I'll just buy the whole store. Polyamory is totally fine by me, in case you wanna, you know, share.
Reply
I can't even begin to understand the logic behind their argument. I mean, screamo bands are angry with the world, so they scream at it a lot, right? And all they talk about is how much terrible their lives are and how much they want to kill themselves to take the pain ~*~away~*~? I guess I could be wrong because apparently Mellowdrone is somehow more depressing than a genre of music based entirely on self loathing and revenge. But I could hate screamo more. I mean, I don't actually like it, and I'm certainly not going to waste my money on CD's or concerts but since it exists and I have to endure it almost daily, the least I can do is make fun of it a lot. That's really the only thing screamo is good for, and I like that about it. I like that it takes itself so seriously yet somehow manages to be the funniest genre of music everrr. And although I could do without the Wham!, I honestly wouldn't mind listening to Duran Duran in art class. I sort of love them for some reason? I mean, I recognize they're not the greatest band ever and all, but John Taylor's hot and their music is fun, so it doesn't even matter.
I think we're even, jealously wise, then. Because I am insanely jealous of you and your Jon meeting. Especially since it's not like you ran into him after a concert or something. I mean, when I met David, that was at a book signing. It was pretty much guaranteed that I'd meet him. Yours was a thing of chance and luck and stuff. So I am officially jealous of you.
I think that's probably the best system. I have some left over easter chocolates because for some reason my parents still give me easter chocolates, if you'd like to save a little money. They're just caramel eggs and random shit like that, but it's something, right?
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