(no subject)
i got withdrawal from all the "sweetie's" and "baby's" and "doll's" and at work i was more depressed than i've been since college. so i caved and i called but i had to do it with the class of a nice girl and so i said, "can we start over? ...or not?" and he agreed but pointed out that he's still a lot older. i don't think that's our problem. but i think i can adapt some of my expectations that i never meant to form in the first place if we actually communicate like he says we should. and here i thought men didn't want to communicate. i thought the pheromones communicated enough for the both of us. i mean, talk about chemistry. seriously. how could i not "fall in love" with the source of that scent? i get all primal. but then i feel like that scene in the episode of family guy where lois takes karate and after kicking some chicks ass she grabs peter's balls and says something like "see this? this is mine! this is where my babies come from!" to all the other chicks. real territorial. i've got to control my impulse to do that. but i can either go back to being alone and telling myself it's not so bad or suck it up and deal with filling a niche in his universe of open relationships - but with conditions. some strings attached. i've got a few rational rules to bring to the table when we finally really talk.