Fashion rant.
I will be starting my new job in about 2 weeks and so I have decreed that it is time for a wardrobe refresher. I looked up trends for spring 2013... which only made me want to scratch my eyes out. What is it with fashion lately and why do I hate almost all of it?!
Spring 2013 trends seem to be:
• lace - there's few things that I hate more than lace the way it is being used by the majority of clothing retailers (within the price-range that I can afford), because it's usually tacky, overly girly and just plain ugly.
• leather - ok... this means faux leather in most stores and faux leather is fugly in most cases (in the price-range that I can afford, i.e. non-designer stuff). I have one nice leather jacket - and two more that I left at home because I rarely wore them - but leather skirts and pants? no way. Too uncomfortable for everyday wear.
• pastel - again?! I can't wear pastels, because they make me look like a zombie, not to mention that many pastels come in the combination peach-rosé-baby blue-lilac, which are so uber-girly that I can't stand them.
• low heels and flats - nice, nice... except NOT, because the low heel comes combined with a 90's-style pointy tip, which makes my feet look about 5 sizes bigger than they are. Thanks but no thanks.
• white and/or black&white - now we're getting somewhere. Except the black&white trend emphasizes everything chequered, which I don't know how I feel about. As for white - white is all nice and good, but it usually comes in one of the following combos: a) white lace/ruffles (NO!), b) white oversized shirts (which I would love to wear, but I'm not petite and super-skinny with tiny tits, so in most cases, these make me look like a big blob), c) white skinny pants (which I would also love to wear if I could fit my ass into them and if I had a stick-figure body, which these days I definitely don't have).
• stripes - ok... stripes can potentially be good... except I have always hated striped t-shirts... and vertical stripes again make everyone but the skinniest bitches look unnecessarily big. I would wear stripes with colorful pants - if the pants came in some normal-person cuts.
• floral - I'm not even gonna comment. You all know that I hate floral prints with a passion.
• baggy bermuda shorts - ok... well... I feel like these are too 90s for me to pull them off.
Besides, most of it looks like something from the 80s or 90s and NOT the good kind. I don't know. Maybe I'm just too curvaceous and tall for most of these things - if I was a petite skinny girl, I might feel differently. Or maybe I'm just too boring or old or whatever.
Either way, I feel like I want to re-invent myself a little in terms of fashion, but I haven't seen anything that I've liked in a long time. And I can't buy men's clothes, either (which I think are very cute these days), because I'm too small for them.
Spring 2013 trends seem to be:
• lace - there's few things that I hate more than lace the way it is being used by the majority of clothing retailers (within the price-range that I can afford), because it's usually tacky, overly girly and just plain ugly.
• leather - ok... this means faux leather in most stores and faux leather is fugly in most cases (in the price-range that I can afford, i.e. non-designer stuff). I have one nice leather jacket - and two more that I left at home because I rarely wore them - but leather skirts and pants? no way. Too uncomfortable for everyday wear.
• pastel - again?! I can't wear pastels, because they make me look like a zombie, not to mention that many pastels come in the combination peach-rosé-baby blue-lilac, which are so uber-girly that I can't stand them.
• low heels and flats - nice, nice... except NOT, because the low heel comes combined with a 90's-style pointy tip, which makes my feet look about 5 sizes bigger than they are. Thanks but no thanks.
• white and/or black&white - now we're getting somewhere. Except the black&white trend emphasizes everything chequered, which I don't know how I feel about. As for white - white is all nice and good, but it usually comes in one of the following combos: a) white lace/ruffles (NO!), b) white oversized shirts (which I would love to wear, but I'm not petite and super-skinny with tiny tits, so in most cases, these make me look like a big blob), c) white skinny pants (which I would also love to wear if I could fit my ass into them and if I had a stick-figure body, which these days I definitely don't have).
• stripes - ok... stripes can potentially be good... except I have always hated striped t-shirts... and vertical stripes again make everyone but the skinniest bitches look unnecessarily big. I would wear stripes with colorful pants - if the pants came in some normal-person cuts.
• floral - I'm not even gonna comment. You all know that I hate floral prints with a passion.
• baggy bermuda shorts - ok... well... I feel like these are too 90s for me to pull them off.
Besides, most of it looks like something from the 80s or 90s and NOT the good kind. I don't know. Maybe I'm just too curvaceous and tall for most of these things - if I was a petite skinny girl, I might feel differently. Or maybe I'm just too boring or old or whatever.
Either way, I feel like I want to re-invent myself a little in terms of fashion, but I haven't seen anything that I've liked in a long time. And I can't buy men's clothes, either (which I think are very cute these days), because I'm too small for them.