Good bye Grandpa

Nov 30, 2009 20:16

I'm leaving Virginia tomorrow morning. My Grandma will be all alone. My Mom will be back in a couple of weeks, and she has her book club coming over tomorrow. I miss my grandpa. I want to give him a hug, I want him to lecture me on the importance of something. After Grandma fell asleep I went up to the loft and looked through old photos and cried. One of me holding up a fish with a big smile on my face, with my grandpa smiling proudly behind me really got to me. I moved onto the next photo hoping it would calm me down, it was a picture of me clutching Shadow when he was a puppy. It only made me cry harder. I looked at a family portrait we took in Vermont, one I remember posing for, which is surprising given my age at the time. 4 of the people in the photo are dead now. Both of my great grandma's and my great grandpa, now my grandpa. I need to shower and try to get the mascara off of my face.
Things here were incredibly tense when everyone was around, but as soon as Grandma and I were alone everything was better. Grandma's manic moments weren't so bad. She got upset because she couldn't find any of her Bank of America information, but that was about it. Mostly we just laughed and cried together. I'm really glad I was here for a few extra days, even if it has left me behind in my school work. What the hell, all I need is a crap load of caffeine. I'm really going to miss my grandma. Part of me wishes I could stay here forever. I kind of feel the way I did when I was a little girl, when Grandma would leave I would be crushed. I miss my grandpa so much, I didn't think that may 16th 2009 would be the last time I ever saw him. I went through all the paper work for his new lexus today. Never has an Auto contract made me cry before. He loved that car, and he died in it. The car traumatized my grandma, and she has to drive it. I want to wake up and find this was all a crazy dream.
We spoke with the Lawyer today, it turns out my Grandparents have lost millions of dollars since the will was written. I'm worried about my Grandma, I wish there was something I could do.
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