Time is Flying By
Ok this is going to be a short update because I still have things I need to do tonight. Basically my friends are slipping way form me..each time they hug everyone in our group except for me, everytime they single me out for some reason. I can feel it. Its extremely painful but I'm ok. I fully intend on talking to each of them individually to see if its jsut me or if its true. I think I owe it to myself to do that. Anyway my memorial day weekend was completely uneventful except for the huge stomach ache I had since sunday, I didn't cry I jsut chilled out and watched a few episodes of gilmore girls since I have all the box sets for seasons 1-6. Sunday I was working on the only hw I had to do which was my physics packet and Monday after struggling with it I got my help from my friends and after that I was done with what I had to do and I was supposed to get together to work on my physics project with my group but apparently not..anyway once I was done with the physics packet to the best of my ability, I wanted to get out my house for an hour osr so to get some ice cream or see a movie with one of my friends. But everyone I called was either not there or was busy doing the physics packet. Anyway I survived yesterday and had trouble sleeping but all in all I didnt' do anything this weekend. Despite this sad story I had a nice day today and I have a new load of responsibilties to take care of. I have my reputation to protect and I refuse to get sucked into the spring fever motif that my friends seem to be in. I will work hard and be as active and studious as I always am, until that final bell rings on the last day of school becasue that is when its over. I will uphold my reputation and continue to be the smart, funny, bubbly personality person that I am. Nothing and no one is going to get me off of this track. Last night I talked to a person who was best friend through brunner school and when I was held back in 3rd grade we started to drift apart because we weren't in the same grade and things jsut didnt' work. I recently heard some kids talking about the valedictorian of he class of 2007 and when I heard Karina's name I jsut beamed with pride that I knew her and I knew that she would be the valedictorian of her senior class. I called her that day and she was busy so I left a couple messages but finally monday night she called me and we talked about all kinds of things and we both want to have the friendship that we had before and that made em happy to knwo that she still considered me her best friend even when we weren't friends for the past few years and I always had her in teh back of my mind. Anyway we decided we woudl revive that friendship and I didn't tell her much abtou what happened with michele but, its almost like Karina is michele's replacement. I mean I still have brittney and I will always have brittney as my best friend. But after all that has happened with michele I can't think about her anymore I mean I'll alwasy care about her but...I jsut can't stand it and I wish she hadn't had made things so hard for both of us the rest of Junior year and what about next year? I don't know who I am saying this to but I need to talk to michele write her a letter or something but I need to get through to her..I need closure and I need to know that I don't have to keep avoiding her cuz its so flipping annoying especially when we are all friends with the same people and I'm pretty damn sure that its michele's fault that all of my friends are slipping away from me b/c they knwo her and they love her so if they had to choose they would choose her over me so now they are pushing me away so that she will be comfortable and I will go elsewhere. The thing is I don't even knwo if that is really what's going on. All I know is I feel like something is going on and I am going to find out what. OOps so much for a short entry...sry guys well sry britt more specifically since you're theonly one who ever reads my LJ. Well ttyl
Rebel <3