things! plus? more babyfic!
Things which need to stop:
LJ giving me that akdhdkhfgjsfgjshdgf ERROR: YOUR PARAMETERS ARE MISSING WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT EVEN MEANS message every time I try and post a comment. No, really. And it *especially* needs to stop when the comments I'm doing are fic comments. It just - it needs to STOP. That's all.
Something else which needs to stop? Whatever the hell this new thing is that gmail is doing. Has anyone else noticed it? Where you're reading a message in a certain email thread, and while you're in it, the thread gets updated, so then you have this floating, hovering, BAR at the bottom telling you someone has responded. Uhm. Hi. I am READING it and would actually be able to SEE that message better, were you not COVERING IT, obnoxious bar notification thinger. Bah.
Things which are funny!:
Last night, during a longish car ride, I had to try and explain to Mr. E the origin of "I'm in ur whatever, whatevering ur whatever." I tried with the original but he wasn't getting it for whatever reason, so I tried giving examples, but the only one in my head was from monkiedude's Padalecki Pube Poll from yesterday where I said something about being in Jared's pants with his pubes, etc.
After a minute of my floundering, he looks at me and says "They all have to do with porn, the ones youre thinking of, right?" And I had to just nod sadly and give up the explanation for the night.
(However, the Mr. LOSES cool points after we passed Winchester Dr which is right by my house, and I said, Oh! I still have to come here with the camera so I can take a picture of that street sign for an icon! and he *did not know why.*
I made my "DUH" face a little and he goes "Is that something about your show?" and I say "Sam and Dean WINCHESTER DUH" and he says "I dont know their fucking last name. I'm not GAY, nan." So - booooooooo. He lost any cool porn points with spazzing on the last name. SIGH.)
Anyway - more babyfic! Whee! (Previous parts can be found under the spn babyfic tag.) Thanks to keepaofthecheez for the beta!
Title - babyfic 3
Pairing - none, gen
Word Count - 1450
Spoilers - none
Dean leaves Melissa with Sam in a motel room in Kansas City, and spends the night in the woods, trapping and poisoning evil woodland fairies. They jump on his back from the trees, and bite at his heels with pointy sharp teeth. Dean swats them away, cursing and flailing for hours until he takes every one of them out. Nasty fuckers.
By the time he gets back to the room, Sam is asleep on the bed with Melissa on his chest and the Baby Einstein DVD Sam had bought for her playing in a loop on his laptop. Dean grunts in pain at the scrapes and bruises covering his body, but stops long enough on the way to the bathroom to jab the off button and vow to play nothing but Metallica the next day in retaliation. Freaking Baby Einstein.
*
In Tupelo, Dean spends the night with Melissa while Sam tracks a pack of angry dogs. Sam thinks the dogs are possessed, Dean thinks they're just annoyed at being followed by a dumbass like Sam, and Melissa, apparently thinks that Metallica rocks, thank you very much, if the bouncing on Dean's leg through all of the Ride the Lightning album is any indication.
When Sam gets back, Dean's lying on his stomach on the bed playing peekaboo from behind a Van Halen t-shirt. Sam slams the door behind him, and when Dean turns to look, all of his clothes are ripped to shreds and soaking wet with dog saliva. There's a streak of mud across his cheek, and he's cradling his right arm against his body carefully.
Dean blows a raspberry at Melissa, who laughs and smacks her hands against the bed. "Posessed?" Dean asks.
"Every one of them," Sam answers. Dean can hear Sam's bag drop to the floor and he grunts as he makes his way to the bathroom.
"That sucks," Dean says and whistles quietly.
Melissa bounces and tries to roll over and Dean tickles her belly. He could swear he hears Sam tell him to fuck off through the closed bathroom door, but can't tell for sure. Dean shrugs, picks up the Van Halen shirt, and hides his face again.
*
In Dayton, Ohio, Melissa loses her stuffed purple elephant, and all hell breaks loose.
"What do you mean you have no idea where it went?" Sam snaps. Melissa is wailing at the top of her lungs, her fists pounding against Sam's chest. Dean's faced hell hounds and zombies that have scared him less than the fit she's throwing.
He runs a hand through his hair. "She had it, dude. It was right in her hand when you were in the book store and then-"
"Then what?" Sam is squinting at Dean like he did something. Like this is somehow his fault, and if he doesn't quit it, Dean's going to be forced to punch him in the face.
"Then she dropped it, I guess. I don't know." Melissa quiets for a second, and Dean makes a break for it. He picks up the three-foot tall teddy bear and pretends to make him walk across the floor and sit at Sam's feet. Melissa rubs a fist against her eye, looks down at the bear, and lets out a screech Dean thinks might actually register on the Richter scale.
"Well go back and find it," Sam hisses.
Dean's fingers curl into fists. "You think I didn't try that, genius? It's not there."
"Then buy another one. Jesus, Dean, she's just gonna-"
Sam is cut off by Melissa curling forward and jamming one of her brand new pink and white Nikes into his ribcage. He makes a quiet oof-ing sound, and passes her to Dean like she's about to explode. Which she very well might be.
Dean laughs. He can't help it. "Aww. Poor Sammy. Being beaten up by a girl." He so busy laughing that he completely misses the way Melissa's scrunched up her face as if to take aim. By the time her finger is poking directly in Dean's left eye, there's not a thing he can do to stop her.
"Ah!"
Sam's either choking to death or laughing, Dean can't really be sure. He squints through his one good eye and tries to give Sam his most menacing stare. Sam's hunched over, sucking in deep breaths, and pays no attention to Dean as he tries to get his own breath back.
"I think she might have cracked a rib," Sam wheezes.
"Yeah, well, suck it up, little brother. At least you can still see." Melissa's still crying; deep, heaving wails and the front of Dean's shirt is soaked through with tears. He sits back on the edge of the bed and presses his head against hers. Teasing Sam is always fun, but this is serious. She can't keep crying like this; they have to do something.
"Here." Dean digs the car keys from his pocket and tosses them to Sam. "Go buy every elephant shaped thing you can find. I don't care what it is or what it looks like. Every elephant thing you can find, all right?"
Sam takes the keys and straightens, taking a final, shaky breath. "You'll be okay if I leave you with her?"
Melissa twists in Dean's arms and screeches until she practically turns purple. Sam spins on his heel and is at the door so fast Dean barely saw him move. "Right. Okay. I'll be back!" he says as he bolts from the room and slams the door behind him.
Dean kisses the top of Melissa's smooth, warm head. "I'm sorry your Uncle Sammy's a pussy, baby," he croons. "At least you still have me."
*
Sam gets back an hour later with bag after bag of stuffed things from toy stores. There are plastic elephants, stuffed elephants, elephants made of bean bags. Elephant pictures, statues and puppets. There's even a set of stuffed elephant ears and a tail to put on the baby herself.
Dean holds those up and raises an eyebrow. "Sam?"
"I thought they'd be cute," he says, snatching them back. "For Halloween or something. What?" he adds when Dean just sits there, smirking.
"Nothing!" Dean lifts his hands in the air and tries to look innocent. "Nothing at all." Sam is such a sap it makes Dean's teeth ache. He chuckles to himself and grabs the puppet from the bed. His hand barely fits, but he shoves it in anyway and makes it dance back and forth in front Melissa who's lying on her belly on the bed. She watches him for a minute, then drops her head into the covers and whimpers.
"God, Sam, none of these are working." Dean rips the puppet off and tosses it across the room. "She's miserable, and I don't know what-" When the idea comes to him, Dean can't believe it took him this long to think of it. He would snap his fingers and declare genius, but Sam's already giving him a worried look, and Dean knows he's going to get a hard enough time as is. He can save the bragging for later.
"What?" Sam is suspicious, Dean can tell. Dean gets up and quietly starts collecting their things, shoving them in bags haphazardly and packing as quickly as he can. The less said about this, the better. "Dean, what?"
"If the mountain can't come to Mohammed, Sammy," Dean says.
Sam is quiet until realization hits. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me."
Dean looks from Sam, down to the bed full of discarded elephants, over to the quietly sobbing baby, and then back to his brother.
"All right," Sam finally says. He stands up and starts packing his own bag. "All right."
*
Six hundred miles plus one toy store later, and Melissa is sleeping like an angel in the backseat, a purple stuffed elephant curled protectively in the crook of her arm.
"I can't believe we backtracked six hundred miles to come back here and buy her another elephant." Sam tries to sound annoyed but he's not, Dean can tell. The way he eyes go soft every time he turns around to watch Melissa sleeping is a dead giveaway.
"She's sleeping, dude. And not crying. Two very important things."
Sam leans his head back against the seat. Dean fast-forwards through Iron Man because it scares Melissa and settles back to listen to some Sabbath.
"And buying the rest of the shelf of the same one?" Sam says as he kicks the bag at his feet. One of the twenty-five identical purple stuffed elephants they bought comes falling out of the bag to roll across the floor of the Impala. Sam reaches down to pick it up and says, "Man, that idea was-"
"Genius," Dean interrupts with a grin. "Yeah. I know."
LJ giving me that akdhdkhfgjsfgjshdgf ERROR: YOUR PARAMETERS ARE MISSING WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT EVEN MEANS message every time I try and post a comment. No, really. And it *especially* needs to stop when the comments I'm doing are fic comments. It just - it needs to STOP. That's all.
Something else which needs to stop? Whatever the hell this new thing is that gmail is doing. Has anyone else noticed it? Where you're reading a message in a certain email thread, and while you're in it, the thread gets updated, so then you have this floating, hovering, BAR at the bottom telling you someone has responded. Uhm. Hi. I am READING it and would actually be able to SEE that message better, were you not COVERING IT, obnoxious bar notification thinger. Bah.
Things which are funny!:
Last night, during a longish car ride, I had to try and explain to Mr. E the origin of "I'm in ur whatever, whatevering ur whatever." I tried with the original but he wasn't getting it for whatever reason, so I tried giving examples, but the only one in my head was from monkiedude's Padalecki Pube Poll from yesterday where I said something about being in Jared's pants with his pubes, etc.
After a minute of my floundering, he looks at me and says "They all have to do with porn, the ones youre thinking of, right?" And I had to just nod sadly and give up the explanation for the night.
(However, the Mr. LOSES cool points after we passed Winchester Dr which is right by my house, and I said, Oh! I still have to come here with the camera so I can take a picture of that street sign for an icon! and he *did not know why.*
I made my "DUH" face a little and he goes "Is that something about your show?" and I say "Sam and Dean WINCHESTER DUH" and he says "I dont know their fucking last name. I'm not GAY, nan." So - booooooooo. He lost any cool porn points with spazzing on the last name. SIGH.)
Anyway - more babyfic! Whee! (Previous parts can be found under the spn babyfic tag.) Thanks to keepaofthecheez for the beta!
Title - babyfic 3
Pairing - none, gen
Word Count - 1450
Spoilers - none
Dean leaves Melissa with Sam in a motel room in Kansas City, and spends the night in the woods, trapping and poisoning evil woodland fairies. They jump on his back from the trees, and bite at his heels with pointy sharp teeth. Dean swats them away, cursing and flailing for hours until he takes every one of them out. Nasty fuckers.
By the time he gets back to the room, Sam is asleep on the bed with Melissa on his chest and the Baby Einstein DVD Sam had bought for her playing in a loop on his laptop. Dean grunts in pain at the scrapes and bruises covering his body, but stops long enough on the way to the bathroom to jab the off button and vow to play nothing but Metallica the next day in retaliation. Freaking Baby Einstein.
*
In Tupelo, Dean spends the night with Melissa while Sam tracks a pack of angry dogs. Sam thinks the dogs are possessed, Dean thinks they're just annoyed at being followed by a dumbass like Sam, and Melissa, apparently thinks that Metallica rocks, thank you very much, if the bouncing on Dean's leg through all of the Ride the Lightning album is any indication.
When Sam gets back, Dean's lying on his stomach on the bed playing peekaboo from behind a Van Halen t-shirt. Sam slams the door behind him, and when Dean turns to look, all of his clothes are ripped to shreds and soaking wet with dog saliva. There's a streak of mud across his cheek, and he's cradling his right arm against his body carefully.
Dean blows a raspberry at Melissa, who laughs and smacks her hands against the bed. "Posessed?" Dean asks.
"Every one of them," Sam answers. Dean can hear Sam's bag drop to the floor and he grunts as he makes his way to the bathroom.
"That sucks," Dean says and whistles quietly.
Melissa bounces and tries to roll over and Dean tickles her belly. He could swear he hears Sam tell him to fuck off through the closed bathroom door, but can't tell for sure. Dean shrugs, picks up the Van Halen shirt, and hides his face again.
*
In Dayton, Ohio, Melissa loses her stuffed purple elephant, and all hell breaks loose.
"What do you mean you have no idea where it went?" Sam snaps. Melissa is wailing at the top of her lungs, her fists pounding against Sam's chest. Dean's faced hell hounds and zombies that have scared him less than the fit she's throwing.
He runs a hand through his hair. "She had it, dude. It was right in her hand when you were in the book store and then-"
"Then what?" Sam is squinting at Dean like he did something. Like this is somehow his fault, and if he doesn't quit it, Dean's going to be forced to punch him in the face.
"Then she dropped it, I guess. I don't know." Melissa quiets for a second, and Dean makes a break for it. He picks up the three-foot tall teddy bear and pretends to make him walk across the floor and sit at Sam's feet. Melissa rubs a fist against her eye, looks down at the bear, and lets out a screech Dean thinks might actually register on the Richter scale.
"Well go back and find it," Sam hisses.
Dean's fingers curl into fists. "You think I didn't try that, genius? It's not there."
"Then buy another one. Jesus, Dean, she's just gonna-"
Sam is cut off by Melissa curling forward and jamming one of her brand new pink and white Nikes into his ribcage. He makes a quiet oof-ing sound, and passes her to Dean like she's about to explode. Which she very well might be.
Dean laughs. He can't help it. "Aww. Poor Sammy. Being beaten up by a girl." He so busy laughing that he completely misses the way Melissa's scrunched up her face as if to take aim. By the time her finger is poking directly in Dean's left eye, there's not a thing he can do to stop her.
"Ah!"
Sam's either choking to death or laughing, Dean can't really be sure. He squints through his one good eye and tries to give Sam his most menacing stare. Sam's hunched over, sucking in deep breaths, and pays no attention to Dean as he tries to get his own breath back.
"I think she might have cracked a rib," Sam wheezes.
"Yeah, well, suck it up, little brother. At least you can still see." Melissa's still crying; deep, heaving wails and the front of Dean's shirt is soaked through with tears. He sits back on the edge of the bed and presses his head against hers. Teasing Sam is always fun, but this is serious. She can't keep crying like this; they have to do something.
"Here." Dean digs the car keys from his pocket and tosses them to Sam. "Go buy every elephant shaped thing you can find. I don't care what it is or what it looks like. Every elephant thing you can find, all right?"
Sam takes the keys and straightens, taking a final, shaky breath. "You'll be okay if I leave you with her?"
Melissa twists in Dean's arms and screeches until she practically turns purple. Sam spins on his heel and is at the door so fast Dean barely saw him move. "Right. Okay. I'll be back!" he says as he bolts from the room and slams the door behind him.
Dean kisses the top of Melissa's smooth, warm head. "I'm sorry your Uncle Sammy's a pussy, baby," he croons. "At least you still have me."
*
Sam gets back an hour later with bag after bag of stuffed things from toy stores. There are plastic elephants, stuffed elephants, elephants made of bean bags. Elephant pictures, statues and puppets. There's even a set of stuffed elephant ears and a tail to put on the baby herself.
Dean holds those up and raises an eyebrow. "Sam?"
"I thought they'd be cute," he says, snatching them back. "For Halloween or something. What?" he adds when Dean just sits there, smirking.
"Nothing!" Dean lifts his hands in the air and tries to look innocent. "Nothing at all." Sam is such a sap it makes Dean's teeth ache. He chuckles to himself and grabs the puppet from the bed. His hand barely fits, but he shoves it in anyway and makes it dance back and forth in front Melissa who's lying on her belly on the bed. She watches him for a minute, then drops her head into the covers and whimpers.
"God, Sam, none of these are working." Dean rips the puppet off and tosses it across the room. "She's miserable, and I don't know what-" When the idea comes to him, Dean can't believe it took him this long to think of it. He would snap his fingers and declare genius, but Sam's already giving him a worried look, and Dean knows he's going to get a hard enough time as is. He can save the bragging for later.
"What?" Sam is suspicious, Dean can tell. Dean gets up and quietly starts collecting their things, shoving them in bags haphazardly and packing as quickly as he can. The less said about this, the better. "Dean, what?"
"If the mountain can't come to Mohammed, Sammy," Dean says.
Sam is quiet until realization hits. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me."
Dean looks from Sam, down to the bed full of discarded elephants, over to the quietly sobbing baby, and then back to his brother.
"All right," Sam finally says. He stands up and starts packing his own bag. "All right."
*
Six hundred miles plus one toy store later, and Melissa is sleeping like an angel in the backseat, a purple stuffed elephant curled protectively in the crook of her arm.
"I can't believe we backtracked six hundred miles to come back here and buy her another elephant." Sam tries to sound annoyed but he's not, Dean can tell. The way he eyes go soft every time he turns around to watch Melissa sleeping is a dead giveaway.
"She's sleeping, dude. And not crying. Two very important things."
Sam leans his head back against the seat. Dean fast-forwards through Iron Man because it scares Melissa and settles back to listen to some Sabbath.
"And buying the rest of the shelf of the same one?" Sam says as he kicks the bag at his feet. One of the twenty-five identical purple stuffed elephants they bought comes falling out of the bag to roll across the floor of the Impala. Sam reaches down to pick it up and says, "Man, that idea was-"
"Genius," Dean interrupts with a grin. "Yeah. I know."