daniel
i've realized that my entries lately have been more meaningful. i like it.
anyways, i hope i'm not going down the toilet with this one. but here it goes, just the same...
so i have a boyfriend. his name is daniel, and he's from albuquerque, nm. and he's wonderful. there's just really no other way to describe him. when i was in high school, i had a boyfriend like dan. his name was matt. and for a really long time, i thought that matt was The One. i loved him a lot...and in many ways, i still do love him...but i'm not in love with him...there's a difference. but that's not really the point here. the point is that now i'm with dan. and he's wonderful. and though we've been together two months, i have this feeling that he, too, might be The One.
but is it wrong to think that way?
i mean, in high school, matt was my first (and only) relationship. i had no other experience, and i held onto what we had for so long because i didn't know anything else, and was afraid i would never experience love like i felt with him again. but now, since i've been at school, i've had two relationships, and though the first isn't worth mentioning, this one with dan certainly is. i just am afraid of getting my hopes up again, and leaning on something again, only to have it come crumbling at my feet. i know i should just be taking it "one day at a time", but i'm future oriented...i always look ahead. but is it wrong for me, being "only" a freshman in college, to want to think of him as The One? if i really feel that strongly, and feel it's a good thing, and the feelings are reciprocated...i don't know. it's not like i'm choosing bridesmaids dresses and picking flowers, or reserving a hall for after the ceremony. i'm talking more along the lines of my future...when we talk about what we want to do with our lives, where we see ourselves living and what we see ourselves doing...i try and picture what he's saying with what i have planned. is that a bad thing? if it is, there's really not much i can do to help it anyways, but all the same, i wish i knew.
i guess i'll sleep on it.
anyways, i hope i'm not going down the toilet with this one. but here it goes, just the same...
so i have a boyfriend. his name is daniel, and he's from albuquerque, nm. and he's wonderful. there's just really no other way to describe him. when i was in high school, i had a boyfriend like dan. his name was matt. and for a really long time, i thought that matt was The One. i loved him a lot...and in many ways, i still do love him...but i'm not in love with him...there's a difference. but that's not really the point here. the point is that now i'm with dan. and he's wonderful. and though we've been together two months, i have this feeling that he, too, might be The One.
but is it wrong to think that way?
i mean, in high school, matt was my first (and only) relationship. i had no other experience, and i held onto what we had for so long because i didn't know anything else, and was afraid i would never experience love like i felt with him again. but now, since i've been at school, i've had two relationships, and though the first isn't worth mentioning, this one with dan certainly is. i just am afraid of getting my hopes up again, and leaning on something again, only to have it come crumbling at my feet. i know i should just be taking it "one day at a time", but i'm future oriented...i always look ahead. but is it wrong for me, being "only" a freshman in college, to want to think of him as The One? if i really feel that strongly, and feel it's a good thing, and the feelings are reciprocated...i don't know. it's not like i'm choosing bridesmaids dresses and picking flowers, or reserving a hall for after the ceremony. i'm talking more along the lines of my future...when we talk about what we want to do with our lives, where we see ourselves living and what we see ourselves doing...i try and picture what he's saying with what i have planned. is that a bad thing? if it is, there's really not much i can do to help it anyways, but all the same, i wish i knew.
i guess i'll sleep on it.