Politics Through the Eyes of a Five Year Old
This post is otherwise entitled "The only political post I ever plan to write." Though I have much to say about the political environment today, I just don't have the will to stir up that much controversy.
The J-man's school was used as a polling place, but they didn't close the facility, because the polling area was relatively small in comparison to the facility. It was great, because the kids got to see what a polling place looks like and they held a mock election in the class. First, they voted on what snack they would have that day so that they could learn what voting was all about, and then they had a mock presidential election. All the kids got to vote for who they wanted for president.
So we asked J who he voted for:
J: John McCain
Me: What made you decide to vote for John McCain?
J: All my friends were voting for him.
Me: And what made them decide to vote for John McCain?
J: He's the coolest.
Me: Oh! Well, that's a very good reason. Do you know who actually won the election?
J: Who?
Me: Barack Obama.
J: Oh yeah! Our whole class voted for him!
Me: Sure, for varying degrees of "whole."
J: Why did he win?
Me: Well, 52% of the registered voters who actually voted on election day voted for him.
J: Who did Abba vote for?
Me: Well, you'll have to ask him, but he doesn't have to tell you if he doesn't want to; we have anonymous balloting in the United States.
J: Abba? Did you vote?
Seth: Yes, J, I voted.
J: Well, did you vote for John McCain?
Seth: Er, No.
J: Did you vote for Bark Obama?
Seth: Yes, I did.
J: Oh, that was a very good idea, all of my friends voted for him, and my whole class voted for him, and half of the class voted for John McCain.
Seth (aside): Coming soon? Fractions!
Me: So, who did you vote for, exactly?
J: Well, some of us voted for John McCain and some of us voted for Bark Obama.
Seth: Did any of you vote for Ralph Nader?
J: I don't know. Is he president?
Me: He was a presidential nominee.
J: Well, we didn't vote for him.
Seth: Did any of you vote for Dr. Mellow?
J: Who's that?
Me: He's a friend of ours who ran a write-in campaign on a single-issue platform of abolishing Daylight Savings Time.
J: What's a platform?
Me: It's what you say you will do if you become president.
J: Well, you know what I will do when I become president? I will have lots of toys.
Me: Oh, that's an interesting platform. And what will you do for the American people?
J: I will play with the toys!
So there you have it, folks! When J becomes president (of course, he won't be qualified for another 30 years, since you have to be 35 to run for president), he will have lots of toys. And he will play with them. That ought to solve the world's problems.