Well, I'll be darned...
So I've come to the conclusion that the ONLY time I really write on LJ is when something is going wrong. I think it's because when everything is peachy keen (I really have NO CLUE how to spell peachy keen, I just like the phrase...A LOT) I'm too busy being happy to sit around writing on LJ all the time. When I'm sad, however, all I tend to do is sit around a sulk about how sucky my life is that day.
Currently I would rate my stress level at an 8. It isn't as high as it has been, but it is slowly getting there. No, actually it is quite rapidly. Everytime I turn around I'm smacked in the face with some other challenge God has decided to throw at me. OH HOW I WISH I WAS JOB! lol. How he stayed so faithful I shall never understand. HOWEVER, if I could do it...I WOULD! I'm trying, but it just doesn't seem to work. It's as if there is a barrier between us (God and me that is). I don't talk to Him, and well, as a result He doesn't talk to me. I'm not so aggravated with the situation either, which is sad but true.
I wish I had one of those protective bubbles that would keep safe from everything. Maybe it would be a life full of NOTHINGNESS (AH MRS. O!) that I would lead, but right now I'm ok with that. Feeling this way makes me feel inadequate (I definitely can't spell that). Like, I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do so it makes me feel as if I won't ever amount to anything.
So I definitely thought that this pagent would just be fun and if not that it would be a self-esteem booster, but that hasn't proven to be the case...YET! ah! I can't dance. This much I know....oh and everyone else knows too! I just really hope I don't flub it up on the night of the pagent. I don't feel good enough to be in this pagent. I just feel as if I'm not "Pagent Material". And I know people would reply with a "Psh...who cares. At least you're having fun." BUT I'M NOT! This isn't doing anything but upping the stress level. I had decided that I wasn't going to stress, but some how that didn't happen...I'M DEFINITELY STRESSING HERE!
I don't have time to do anything. I'm thinking about cutting back on breathing and blinking to fit in some othere things...more important things...of course!
The banner has to be completed by the 15th. We have...ummm...some eyes cut out? Don't ask. THAT'S IT THOUGH!
I'm really ticked at Kasey Lee. She told me she was coming last weekend so I completely blew everyone else off for her...and then she never showed. I hate when people decide to use you to runaway from their problems, and you are actually ok with it because it gives you an excuse to see them, but then much to your surprise they never come. So perhaps I should be happy for her. I mean this is what Wendy told me. She said I should be happy for her because she didn't run away...well, I'm not happy. In fact, I'm pissed! :(
I actually read a book for English...I'm proud! Ok so it was a short book, and most of it was read aloud in class, but I still read like 50 pages on my own. GO ME!
Oh I forgot to inform you about my dress. So I went to pick it up tonight and they didn't have it! HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN!?!?! The ONLY explanation me and Wendy can come up with is that they took it out of the store to do the alterations rather than doing it in the store (like we thought they were doing). So now I'm getting out early to go and pick it up. I'm not mad...surprisingly enough. Aggravated...yes. Mad...no. It's weird, and not me. I don't like this at all. haha! BUT I THINK I FOUND A DRESS FOR PROM. It is gorgeous. I LOVE IT! It's like three hundred something though. She said she would give me a discount of 10 percent if I get it though. That should be good. We shall see.
I'm going so I can do some PRE-CAL. YES! Oh if I didn't inform you...my grades are worse than they've ever been...EVER BEEN! EVER! DID I MENTION...EVER!?!?!?!?!?!?
Currently I would rate my stress level at an 8. It isn't as high as it has been, but it is slowly getting there. No, actually it is quite rapidly. Everytime I turn around I'm smacked in the face with some other challenge God has decided to throw at me. OH HOW I WISH I WAS JOB! lol. How he stayed so faithful I shall never understand. HOWEVER, if I could do it...I WOULD! I'm trying, but it just doesn't seem to work. It's as if there is a barrier between us (God and me that is). I don't talk to Him, and well, as a result He doesn't talk to me. I'm not so aggravated with the situation either, which is sad but true.
I wish I had one of those protective bubbles that would keep safe from everything. Maybe it would be a life full of NOTHINGNESS (AH MRS. O!) that I would lead, but right now I'm ok with that. Feeling this way makes me feel inadequate (I definitely can't spell that). Like, I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do so it makes me feel as if I won't ever amount to anything.
So I definitely thought that this pagent would just be fun and if not that it would be a self-esteem booster, but that hasn't proven to be the case...YET! ah! I can't dance. This much I know....oh and everyone else knows too! I just really hope I don't flub it up on the night of the pagent. I don't feel good enough to be in this pagent. I just feel as if I'm not "Pagent Material". And I know people would reply with a "Psh...who cares. At least you're having fun." BUT I'M NOT! This isn't doing anything but upping the stress level. I had decided that I wasn't going to stress, but some how that didn't happen...I'M DEFINITELY STRESSING HERE!
I don't have time to do anything. I'm thinking about cutting back on breathing and blinking to fit in some othere things...more important things...of course!
The banner has to be completed by the 15th. We have...ummm...some eyes cut out? Don't ask. THAT'S IT THOUGH!
I'm really ticked at Kasey Lee. She told me she was coming last weekend so I completely blew everyone else off for her...and then she never showed. I hate when people decide to use you to runaway from their problems, and you are actually ok with it because it gives you an excuse to see them, but then much to your surprise they never come. So perhaps I should be happy for her. I mean this is what Wendy told me. She said I should be happy for her because she didn't run away...well, I'm not happy. In fact, I'm pissed! :(
I actually read a book for English...I'm proud! Ok so it was a short book, and most of it was read aloud in class, but I still read like 50 pages on my own. GO ME!
Oh I forgot to inform you about my dress. So I went to pick it up tonight and they didn't have it! HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN!?!?! The ONLY explanation me and Wendy can come up with is that they took it out of the store to do the alterations rather than doing it in the store (like we thought they were doing). So now I'm getting out early to go and pick it up. I'm not mad...surprisingly enough. Aggravated...yes. Mad...no. It's weird, and not me. I don't like this at all. haha! BUT I THINK I FOUND A DRESS FOR PROM. It is gorgeous. I LOVE IT! It's like three hundred something though. She said she would give me a discount of 10 percent if I get it though. That should be good. We shall see.
I'm going so I can do some PRE-CAL. YES! Oh if I didn't inform you...my grades are worse than they've ever been...EVER BEEN! EVER! DID I MENTION...EVER!?!?!?!?!?!?