My firts atempt for House fic
This "thing" is written even before I know what fanfic is .. It's Huddy.. And it's more like random thoughts and emotions gathered together, so it's kind of weird... My English is lame and the translations was edited by Helen ( Thank you!)
Oh well... Time to humiliate myself completely! lol
When are you going to stop lying to yourself?.. These are just some feelings… with no meaning for anyone… Unique… But you are missing the meaning… Does it hurt?! Who cares actually… Pain is good, senor! I know, because I live with it every moment…. Nothing makes sense… I don’t see… Love, you say?.. Funny. When did you understand that it’s real? When you felt it exactly?!..She has been lying to you. SHE wasn’t THE LOVE. The next delusion, one miserable night…One corrupted body, an empty soul… A bit black, a bit white, one groundless fallacy that life is fairytale of love.
And between the black and white you are unable to see the hues.Thousands , and all of them grey. Like the eyes, that are watching you, like the sadness in them, like the fear of loosing something forever, something you never actually had…What did you take, how little you ever gave?! Did you have something, something valuable of your own?She was the one, who was giving a meaning to everything, but you ‘ve decided she is a weakness of your tortured soul…You have decided that way…And you betrayed her…Now her eyes following you. Blamingly, honest till it hurts.
You know why you are afraid now, do you? You know why you see horror in these eyes?! Because she revealed you! Because she succeeded in solving every secret of your heart… Ill, angry, miserable and alone… It turned out, that you are a coward. A grown up child, never dared to look for love.
How long it took you to realize, that you are transparent to her. You were trying to change her every moment, but what really happened? She succeeded in changing the things in you. How long you watched her from above. Thinking that you were the smartest one, thinking that you are high, playing your little games, laughing at her… She was the lab rat, your entertainment, your little joke…Not for a moment did you realize the pain you were causing…
Not for a moment did you assume why everything you did is forgiven. Not for a moment do you wonder why you run when she gets close, and why you follow her when she retreats.
The Game is simple. But no one saw what’s inside you, no one ever pointed it out, no one ever looked behind the words, never wanted to understand, because one was repulsed. No one , but her. And you just decide people are like that. But people instinctively were repulsed by your hate.. Who would want to fight with themself to try to understand and love something they are supposed to hate by some rules?
Did you forget that the mind if the human race is numb with cliché . I think you did. And you were using them. You forgot something else too… A cliché is a cliché for a reason… Because they are true most of the time.
And now you are alone! Good job! You made it! Do you like the position of the victim?
Do you like seeing what you despise? The guilt is good feeling. You are aware of that. You just never thought that this feeling will reach you some day.
Now you are alone. And only these grey eyes follow you… In the grey shadows of disgustingly grey life…
In the grey hours of the grey darkness….
Oh well... Time to humiliate myself completely! lol
When are you going to stop lying to yourself?.. These are just some feelings… with no meaning for anyone… Unique… But you are missing the meaning… Does it hurt?! Who cares actually… Pain is good, senor! I know, because I live with it every moment…. Nothing makes sense… I don’t see… Love, you say?.. Funny. When did you understand that it’s real? When you felt it exactly?!..She has been lying to you. SHE wasn’t THE LOVE. The next delusion, one miserable night…One corrupted body, an empty soul… A bit black, a bit white, one groundless fallacy that life is fairytale of love.
And between the black and white you are unable to see the hues.Thousands , and all of them grey. Like the eyes, that are watching you, like the sadness in them, like the fear of loosing something forever, something you never actually had…What did you take, how little you ever gave?! Did you have something, something valuable of your own?She was the one, who was giving a meaning to everything, but you ‘ve decided she is a weakness of your tortured soul…You have decided that way…And you betrayed her…Now her eyes following you. Blamingly, honest till it hurts.
You know why you are afraid now, do you? You know why you see horror in these eyes?! Because she revealed you! Because she succeeded in solving every secret of your heart… Ill, angry, miserable and alone… It turned out, that you are a coward. A grown up child, never dared to look for love.
How long it took you to realize, that you are transparent to her. You were trying to change her every moment, but what really happened? She succeeded in changing the things in you. How long you watched her from above. Thinking that you were the smartest one, thinking that you are high, playing your little games, laughing at her… She was the lab rat, your entertainment, your little joke…Not for a moment did you realize the pain you were causing…
Not for a moment did you assume why everything you did is forgiven. Not for a moment do you wonder why you run when she gets close, and why you follow her when she retreats.
The Game is simple. But no one saw what’s inside you, no one ever pointed it out, no one ever looked behind the words, never wanted to understand, because one was repulsed. No one , but her. And you just decide people are like that. But people instinctively were repulsed by your hate.. Who would want to fight with themself to try to understand and love something they are supposed to hate by some rules?
Did you forget that the mind if the human race is numb with cliché . I think you did. And you were using them. You forgot something else too… A cliché is a cliché for a reason… Because they are true most of the time.
And now you are alone! Good job! You made it! Do you like the position of the victim?
Do you like seeing what you despise? The guilt is good feeling. You are aware of that. You just never thought that this feeling will reach you some day.
Now you are alone. And only these grey eyes follow you… In the grey shadows of disgustingly grey life…
In the grey hours of the grey darkness….