SGA ficlet: Climate Change (PG, Gen, Team)
Title: Climate Change
Author:
esteefee
Categories: Gen, Crack
Rating: PG
Words: 420
Warnings: gore
Summary: Based on a recent SyFy movie. *cough*. The team is in a perilous situation!
Climate Change
By esteefee
For Mischief
"'Just a little tornado,' he says," John said, firing off a couple more rounds. "'Won't even come near the city,' he says." John's P-90 jammed, and he used it as a blunt object for a quick second while he backed away. "Ha." He wiped the blood and seawater from his eyes then freed the action on his weapon.
"How-how the hell was I supposed to predict this?" Rodney yelled, sounding semi-hysterical as he worked to open the balcony doors behind them.
"Scientists predict all sorts of stuff." Okay, maybe not this, necessarily. John fired until he was out of ammo, and then went back to using the P-90 as a bat. Finally the fucker went down. "I mean, it's science."
Rodney let out an indignant howl. "Oh, yes, because in the natural order of events sharks are quite usually sucked up by a tornado and dropped on our heads! A verifiable sharknado-it's in all the climatology texts-"
"Okay, okay, you've got a point-shit!" John was in a little bit of trouble, what with yet another shark squirming its way toward him, but just then Ronon came running over with his machete thing and hacked straight through the middle of its skull.
"Thanks," John said. Also, yuck.
"No problem; nice little one," Ronon said. "Be good eating later, I bet."
John pulled his Glock and turned toward Teyla, whom he saw was driving a bantos rod through the eyeball of the biggest megalodon yet.
"Teyla?" John said weakly.
"Yes," she said, using the butt of her P-90 to drive the rod home. "I'm quite fond of fish."
The megalodon gave a huge, shuddering jerk, and then twitched into stillness.
"Well, all right." John scraped the blood and fish brains from his tac vest and turned toward Rodney, who was also splattered with fish guts and looking more than a little wild-eyed. He scowled at John and then fiddled with the controls on the damaged door once more, which finally gave a creaking groan and started to jerk open. It made it about a foot before it gave up the ghost, but that was enough for John and Ronon to get a grip and heave it just that much further, until they could all slip through.
"Well, kids-who's up for some fish sticks?"
"I will kill you, Sheppard, I swear," Rodney said. "The beauty is, you won't even see it coming-"
"You mean like a sharknado?"
Okay, he deserved that bruise. But it was totally worth it.
End.
More on Sharknado! Dive in at your own risk. :D
[ X-posted to Dreamwidth with
comments | How to use OpenID ]
Author:
esteefee
Categories: Gen, Crack
Rating: PG
Words: 420
Warnings: gore
Summary: Based on a recent SyFy movie. *cough*. The team is in a perilous situation!
Climate Change
By esteefee
For Mischief
"'Just a little tornado,' he says," John said, firing off a couple more rounds. "'Won't even come near the city,' he says." John's P-90 jammed, and he used it as a blunt object for a quick second while he backed away. "Ha." He wiped the blood and seawater from his eyes then freed the action on his weapon.
"How-how the hell was I supposed to predict this?" Rodney yelled, sounding semi-hysterical as he worked to open the balcony doors behind them.
"Scientists predict all sorts of stuff." Okay, maybe not this, necessarily. John fired until he was out of ammo, and then went back to using the P-90 as a bat. Finally the fucker went down. "I mean, it's science."
Rodney let out an indignant howl. "Oh, yes, because in the natural order of events sharks are quite usually sucked up by a tornado and dropped on our heads! A verifiable sharknado-it's in all the climatology texts-"
"Okay, okay, you've got a point-shit!" John was in a little bit of trouble, what with yet another shark squirming its way toward him, but just then Ronon came running over with his machete thing and hacked straight through the middle of its skull.
"Thanks," John said. Also, yuck.
"No problem; nice little one," Ronon said. "Be good eating later, I bet."
John pulled his Glock and turned toward Teyla, whom he saw was driving a bantos rod through the eyeball of the biggest megalodon yet.
"Teyla?" John said weakly.
"Yes," she said, using the butt of her P-90 to drive the rod home. "I'm quite fond of fish."
The megalodon gave a huge, shuddering jerk, and then twitched into stillness.
"Well, all right." John scraped the blood and fish brains from his tac vest and turned toward Rodney, who was also splattered with fish guts and looking more than a little wild-eyed. He scowled at John and then fiddled with the controls on the damaged door once more, which finally gave a creaking groan and started to jerk open. It made it about a foot before it gave up the ghost, but that was enough for John and Ronon to get a grip and heave it just that much further, until they could all slip through.
"Well, kids-who's up for some fish sticks?"
"I will kill you, Sheppard, I swear," Rodney said. "The beauty is, you won't even see it coming-"
"You mean like a sharknado?"
Okay, he deserved that bruise. But it was totally worth it.
End.
More on Sharknado! Dive in at your own risk. :D
[ X-posted to Dreamwidth with
comments | How to use OpenID ]