"The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing"

[tommi_esterly]

Tuesday, February 23rd
The Dormouse, mid afternoon

I sip my tea and listen to the conversations swirling about me.

"Did you go this morning?"
"No!  Did you?"

"Do you think he did it?"

"I heard his neck did not snap, and that he jerked around on the--"
"I do NOT wish to hear about that!  If you want to talk about that, you may kindly get out of my shoppe."

Comments

[mistresswanda]

My days are getting harder and harder to bear. Yes, I know all pregnant women since the dawn of time have had to deal with expanding bellies, muscle and joint pain, and lack of sleep...

but I doubt many of them had to deal with all of it in a third of the time. I am growing increasingly irritable, and even worse, because of the fatigue, I can't shut the noise out of my head well. I can, but it takes effort now that leaves me exhausted and with a headache. I try to keep focused now on her heartbeat, rather like a white noise to drown out all the random songs from the people around me.

Lucien came by a few nights ago, Friday, after the hearing. I fed him, and we talked a little, but he was generally withdrawn and quiet. Misery loves company, it seems. He spent the night, just so he did not have to be alone with his thoughts, and so I might try to get a few more hours. After all, I always slept better along side some one. Funny thing though, she knew it was not her sire lying beside me, and she was not pleased at all. I don't think I got more than an hour, for she was violently kicking me, and I swear I could feel her insisting on my getting Kent. I slipped out of bed, leaving Lucien to sleep like the dead, and I tried to explain to her quietly that her father is very busy and I just can't call him on a whim...
as much as we both would like to and would like to have him here. The kicking died down a little, but I still get the feeling she wants him, and soon.

I sigh, and push that from my memory, for I don't want the imp to latch onto that and start kicking me again in the hopes I will try and summon her father. I just want the day to end so I can get a hot shower and something to eat before I start my nightly tossing and turning session.

[valmont_vicomte]

The business with Donner has left a sour taste in my mouth. They didn't treat the hanging as entertainment, unlike many places I have been before - it was done quietly at dawn. More than he deserved, no doubt. Thinking of Vale, that nice dim sweet girl makes me think of Kora, another nice sweet dim girl, and before I know it I am in rather a gloomy mood. So I decide to shake it off by dropping in at the Dormouse - it's been a long time, and there are few things tea can't cure.

I open the door and see Tommi with a young woman, and Wanda is bustling about. I blink a little, because she looks so, well, pregnant. Now I'm not sure that the baby is Lucien's, because I don't think they reunited soon enough for her to be that size... Well. It's her business.

"Good afternoon," I say cheerfully.

[mistresswanda]

Oh don't think I can't hear you Thomasina Esterly; over in your corner and chattering away like a jaybird, and after I explicitly told the others not to speak of it.

I don't have time to tell her off because the door opens again; it seems people want me to work. I turn on my heel with an affixed smile---

"Valmont!" I say, my smile now real even if it is tired, and I manage to cross over to him without waddling. "How are you darling? I stretch up and kiss him on the cheek." "Come in, sit down. Which one would you like today? How's Hermia?" I ask, guiding him to a chair.

[valmont_vicomte]

Wanda looks genuinely happy to see me, and kisses me on the cheek.

"How lovely to see you," I say, sitting down. "You're positively blooming," I add, although Wanda is actually looking quite worn out. But I'm not stupid enough to say that to a heavily pregnant woman. "Hermia's well, thank you, as am I. I'll have a pot of Earl Grey, and perhaps a scone," I say. "If you'd join me in sharing the pot, I'd be even more pleased. It's been a while since we caught up."

[mistresswanda]

I can't help the smirk as Valmont calls me blooming. Ballooning may be a closer description, but he has always been a gentleman.

I get the tea and scones, then ease myself into the chair across the table.

"Lets see, the last time I saw you... well, it wasn't exactly the place to have a conversation, and the time before that..." I say with a wry grin. "So tell me dear husband... when will you be throwing me aside for Hermia and breaking my heart forever?" I ask, feigning heartbreak poorly behind my twinkling eyes and twitching smile, but I give up and just start giggling. I really must repay Iago for that little joke.

[valmont_vicomte]

"Oh, lord," I say ruefully, rubbing my hand across my eyes. "Hermia was not impressed by Iago's little stunt," I say. "If he's a wise man he would stay out of her way for a little while. A crossed librarian is a formidable thing," I stay soberly, but I can't stop the corner of my mouth twitching up. "You made a lovely wife for a day, Mrs Whitman," I say, nodding gallantly. "And what did Kent make of it all? How is he, by the way? I haven't seen him recently. He used to come to the Whitechapel from time to time, but it's been a while."

[mistresswanda]

Valmont informs me that Hermia was ill pleased by Iago's joke, and he should be wary of her wrath, but his mouth is twitching up as well.

"You made a lovely wife for a day, Mrs Whitman," I laugh a little and blush, tucking a curl behind my ear. It seems Valmont and I have always flirted, and even though I am as big as a house, it still comes naturally. "And I am sure I was envied by half the women in town to have caught one of the most handsome men in town." I retort, smilimg brightly.

"And what did Kent make of it all? How is he, by the way? I haven't seen him recently. He used to come to the Whitechapel from time to time, but it's been a while."

How my smile does not slip, I have no clue. If I were a good friend... I would tell him who Kent really is. But Dorian said it himself, I am selfish. I never really thought that before, but it must be true. If it weren't... nevermind. I push brooding thoughts away.

"Kent had forgotten just about everything as well." Not a lie, per se. "All he could remember was his old apartment, so he was there." Okay, more of a lie, but the truth is so much stranger. "He's fine. Working hard, took a job over in Oakridge. Should be back by the end of the week. I guess he feels he should work harder to provide for me... us." Again, a half truth. I haven't seen him in weeks, but he has been providing. I have found steaks and fresh fruit in the ice box, and baby blankets and clothes for both of us have just been appearing. I am not sure if I am disgruntled by his absent attentiveness or disquieted by it. I really hope that Qareen-thing isn't skulking about the house without my knowledge.

"I will mention that you were asking after him though. I'll try to convince him to get out and have some fun before the baby gets here." Okay, that's an outright lie, but Valmont doesn't need to know that.

"And what of you? Have I heard through the grapevine you and Hermia have taken in a young girl?" I ask, trying to switch the subject. Having seen Valmont fawn over Fiona, it does not surprise me at all he would make a excellent father.

[valmont_vicomte]

And I am sure I was envied by half the women in town to have caught one of the most handsome men in town."

"Only half?" I tease. "Perhaps I am losing my looks as I age." I grin at her unrepentantly. I've never pretended to be modest.

Wanda talks about Kent, and I nod. She is very convincing... Maybe too convincing. It feels like she is trying to seem bright and happy, but I wonder...

"Yes, do tell him I asked after him. The next time he comes in, the first drink is on the house."

"And what of you? Have I heard through the grapevine you and Hermia have taken in a young girl?"

"Has it really been so long since we had a proper chat?" I say, raising my eyebrows. "Yes, a few weeks ago a girl called Alice - we think she's about thirteen, but it's hard to tell and she doesn't seem to know - was found wandering barefoot in town, obviously traumatised. From what we can gather, her family's dead. Something bad happened, but she's been too hurt by it to be able to tell us what... And she is a little touched in the head, poor thing. She's a sweet girl, truly sweet, and we're glad to take care of her." I smile a little. "I would never have thought a year and a bit ago when I first came to Excolo that I would end up as a husband-to-be and guardian. But then, I suppose you didn't expect to be married and pregnant, either." I raise my cup. "Let's drink to happy accidents, shall we?"

[mistresswanda]

Valmont tells me to send Kent in and the first drink will be on him. "I am sure he'd appreciate it. If I can keep it in my sleep deprived brain, I will pass it along." I say cheerfully enough, giving myself the 'out' in not mentioning it to him at all. I suppose it's better for everyone else in Excolo if he's not around, I just wish I did not miss him so.

I am glad the conversation shifts again, and I listen with interest as my dear friend speaks of the newest member of his household. "Oh the poor little dear." I sigh, placing a hand on the swell of my stomach as my imp does something acrobatic. "How sad for her, but how fortunate that she made her way to you. Oh, if there is anything I can do, or that you and Hermia need for her, please do not hesitate to ask." I say sincerely, reaching across the table to cover his hand with mine.

"I would never have thought a year and a bit ago when I first came to Excolo that I would end up as a husband-to-be and guardian. But then, I suppose you didn't expect to be married and pregnant, either. Let's drink to happy accidents, shall we?"

"Yes, what a difference a year can make." I say raising my cup to his and trying to smile. "I never imagined..."

One of those awful, painful, hormone-driven mood swings chooses right now to slam into me full tilt, and my GOD it is so hard to keep up this facade day to day to day when I am this tired and uncomfortable and and and....

I burst into tears, and as soon as I do, I am desperately trying to wipe them away with a napkin and struggling to smile.

"Oh my dear, you must pardon me!" I say, hating myself for the momentary weakness. "These silly hormones get me to weep at everything, even happy moments." I laugh, hoping he buys it.

[valmont_vicomte]

"How sad for her, but how fortunate that she made her way to you. Oh, if there is anything I can do, or that you and Hermia need for her, please do not hesitate to ask."

"Thank you, darling," I say, squeezing her hand back. Then Tommi is leaving, and I wave and smile, and turn back to Wanda. "I imagine you have your hands full. But she's struck up a bit of a friendship with Fiona. Perhaps I should bring them both into tea one day. It's been a while since I've done that. Alice might be too old for fairy wings, but no girl is too old for cakes." I smile.

"I never imagined..." Wanda continues, then I can see her smile slipping, like wax melting, and in the blink of an eye she is in tears. Almost as quickly she's wiping her face with a napkin.

"These silly hormones get me to weep at everything, even happy moments."

I move round the table so I'm sat next to her.

"Here," I say, offering her my silk handkerchief. "You don't have to apologise, my dear. It's nothing to be ashamed of. But Wanda," I say quietly, glad the shop is now quite deserted, "those didn't seem like very happy tears to me."

[mistresswanda]

I smile at the idea of Fiona running about here in her faerie wings... but if she couldn't stand to be around Lucien, I doubt she will be any more comfortable around me. Another small thing in my life that I enjoyed that it seems I will lose. "Perhaps in late April, once my life is settled and I am back on my feet." I offer, trying to focus on baby faerie wings, instead of Fiona hidding behind Valmont and looking at me with wide, frightened eyes.

Despite my effort to will the sudden tears away, Valmont is at my side and handing me his handkerchief. "Thanks," I sniffle, suddenly giggling slightly. "I still have the one you gave me last month, remind me to give that one back to you before you go."

"But Wanda, those didn't seem like very happy tears to me."

Dammit. "You are right, of course. They are 'tired' tears." I admit. "And 'lonely' tears, for Kent is always working it seems. And they are 'everything bloody hurts' tears." None of that is a lie, strictly speaking. "I am just ready for this phase to be over and for her to get here, is all. I am finding it hard to be happy about much when all it feels like I am about to burst and I want to do is sleep."

[valmont_vicomte]

"I still have the one you gave me last month, remind me to give that one back to you before you go."

I smile.

"Luckily I have a near endless supply. Handy for damsels in distress," I say, and wink.

"You are right, of course. They are 'tired' tears. And 'lonely' tears, for Kent is always working it seems. And they are 'everything bloody hurts' tears. I am just ready for this phase to be over and for her to get here, is all. I am finding it hard to be happy about much when all it feels like I am about to burst and I want to do is sleep."

I put my arm around Wanda.

"I'm sorry, my dear," I say. "I wish I could help. I hear you employed a girl to help you out, that's a good idea. As for lonely... Come and have dinner with me and Hermia some day soon," I say. "I like to cook. Or if it seems too far to walk, we can come to you. I'm sure I can find my way round your kitchen." I squeeze her shoulder. "I haven't seen you with Miao lately," I say. "Did... you have a falling out?" I know Miao didn't come to the wedding, and I've been wondering about it for a while now.

[mistresswanda]

"As for lonely... Come and have dinner with me and Hermia some day soon, I like to cook. Or if it seems too far to walk, we can come to you. I'm sure I can find my way round your kitchen."

I sniffle a little and dab at my eyes. "I... I have a midwife appointment on Monday. I have to waddle out that way to see them, I am sure I can make my way to the Whitechapel on the way back." I think aloud, listening to my daughter's heartbeat to help calm my frazzled nerves.

"I haven't seen you with Miao lately, Did... you have a falling out?"

I look at him for a moment, my expression blank, then start to cry all over again. "You could say that." I laugh/sob at the same time. "Have you ever seen Miao pissed off? I have, and let me tell you..." I am laughing even as the tears flow. "Threw a cup of tea right in my face!" I think my laugh has gone a touch hysterical now, so I suck down a few deep breaths to try and get back to some form of rational.

"And before you ask, it was not over Lucien. It's... it's a long story." I say with a small shrug.

[valmont_vicomte]

"Miao threw tea at you?" I think if she said Miao had grown wings and flown I would be less surprised. I stare at her for a moment, and then I go over to the door and flip over the CLOSED sign, then come and sit back down.

"You don't look fit to do any more business, and I'll buy another pot of tea if it makes you feel less guilty for closing early," I say. "I like long stories. Tell me about it."

[mistresswanda]

Oh good lord, I shocked him. Then again, Lucien had just about the same look when I finally told him. "I really upset her..." I laugh a little, but Valmont is up and flipping the sign. Oh, no... I know where this is going.

"I like long stories. Tell me about it."

I am shaking my head in the negative. "Valmont, please. It's... it's nothing---" and I have to stop because it's really not nothing, and I do hate lying to him. "She wasn't wrong to be upset, and I know, I know I..." I look at him alomst helplessly. "I just don't think I can handle anyone else hating me." I tell him a small, tired voice.

[valmont_vicomte]

"She wasn't wrong to be upset, and I know, I know I... I just don't think I can handle anyone else hating me."

I've never heard Wanda so defeated, and it shakes me. She's always been so strong. I reach for her hand and squeeze it.

"I very much doubt I'll hate you," I say. "Even if you have done something very bad." My voice is quite serious. "I'm not a good man, Wanda, though I try to be a decent one, and I don't judge people by higher standards than those I hold myself to. And I am not sure those are so very high, though Hermia has improved me a little," I add with a small smile. "I won't necessarily approve, but unless you hurt Hermia, or Alice, or Fiona, I would not hate you."