I have my fears, but they do not have me
Early evening, Tuesday, October 6th, day 128
Follow Me Boy
Four days since our meeting with Fiona and Mab and Lucien and Glass. Four days since we determined exactly what had happened and why...and still, it seems we are no closer to any sort of solution. I have not seen Karina at all, nor have there been any moves so far as the election goes. I did visit Wanda once, with Adonis and Reed's help...but it was a short visit. She was quiet, and did not wish to speak about what had happened. All that I could do was be there for her, even if it was only for the afternoon.
And I have barely seen Lucien at all. He hardly dares be around me anymore, for fear of Marbas harming me.
Parras and Vale avoid me as best they can, as does Sophie. Mrs. Danvers fusses over me and presses me to eat, but can offer little support otherwise. Adonis devotes his attention to Fiona, which is as it should be. I can blame none of them for their actions...but my heart aches as well. I cannot even take clients, now...for how could I possibly explain this to them? The best I can do is sit at my desk every evening and welcome those clients into the house, gently declining any who ask after my service. I smile and I bow and I am heartsick.
Dorian has not been by to see me since it happened.....but two days ago a messenger passed by with a parcel for me. An exquisite jade carving, and the card had only Dorian's name. I nearly wept when I opened it. He must have purchased in China, the last time he was there. It was so kind of him to think to send it to me.
That horse is sitting next to me on the desk now while I do my embroideries. There is also a glass of wine at my elbow. I think that I am drinking more than I used to. But at least it helps me to sleep better. I have more difficulty sleeping than I used to....I think that somewhere in my mind I am afraid that I will wake to find some other part of me has turned to stone. Thank the goddesses, so far this has not happened.
It is a quiet evening. Most weeknights are. I sit and I stitch and I drink my wine, and I try very hard not to think about the heavy, unfeeling weight at the end of my legs.
[OPEN to Luke]
[CLOSED]
Follow Me Boy
Four days since our meeting with Fiona and Mab and Lucien and Glass. Four days since we determined exactly what had happened and why...and still, it seems we are no closer to any sort of solution. I have not seen Karina at all, nor have there been any moves so far as the election goes. I did visit Wanda once, with Adonis and Reed's help...but it was a short visit. She was quiet, and did not wish to speak about what had happened. All that I could do was be there for her, even if it was only for the afternoon.
And I have barely seen Lucien at all. He hardly dares be around me anymore, for fear of Marbas harming me.
Parras and Vale avoid me as best they can, as does Sophie. Mrs. Danvers fusses over me and presses me to eat, but can offer little support otherwise. Adonis devotes his attention to Fiona, which is as it should be. I can blame none of them for their actions...but my heart aches as well. I cannot even take clients, now...for how could I possibly explain this to them? The best I can do is sit at my desk every evening and welcome those clients into the house, gently declining any who ask after my service. I smile and I bow and I am heartsick.
Dorian has not been by to see me since it happened.....but two days ago a messenger passed by with a parcel for me. An exquisite jade carving, and the card had only Dorian's name. I nearly wept when I opened it. He must have purchased in China, the last time he was there. It was so kind of him to think to send it to me.
That horse is sitting next to me on the desk now while I do my embroideries. There is also a glass of wine at my elbow. I think that I am drinking more than I used to. But at least it helps me to sleep better. I have more difficulty sleeping than I used to....I think that somewhere in my mind I am afraid that I will wake to find some other part of me has turned to stone. Thank the goddesses, so far this has not happened.
It is a quiet evening. Most weeknights are. I sit and I stitch and I drink my wine, and I try very hard not to think about the heavy, unfeeling weight at the end of my legs.
[OPEN to Luke]
[CLOSED]