Harvest Festival

[kateohara]

Wednesday, September 23rd, early eveningFrom my bedroom I can hear a band tuning up outside. I smile and look out of the window. Stalls are being put up all along Main Street, and at the end nearest the river there's been a temporary stage erected. Bunting flutters in the breeze, and I smile, because we have two things to celebrate today - the

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[brotherlaurence]

I wonder how much right I have to be here, really, when I wasn't pleased to meet Edmund nor have I been involved in much, but I did vote for him and I suppose that gives me right. I half hope I see Kate as I walk out onto the street. I half hope I don't. I dressed carefully, a simple buttoned shirt and clean dark jeans, nothing important. I smile at Amanda when she waves at me as if I couldn't see her through the crowd, then I sigh a little and keep walking.

[kateohara]

I see Laurence walking along the street. He waves at Amanda, who looks pleased to see him, and then he is near my bench.

"Laurence," I say, and feel my throat close up for a moment. Then the knot relaxes, and I can speak again. "Hello."

[brotherlaurence]

I hear my name and my body freezes a little. Kate. My Kate. No, not mine any more. I take in a deep breath and force a smile, then turn to look at her. She is more beautiful than I have ever seen her, and that just makes it hurt more. The muscles holding my smile twitch a little but I make them behave.

"Hello, Kate," I say as warmly as I can manage. After all, none of what happened--or didn't--between us is not her fault. "You look well. How are you?"

[kateohara]

His smile falters when he sees me, and it hurts to know that seeing me upsets him so much. But then he smiles again, and so I smile back as best I can.

"You look well. How are you?"

"I'm -" What to say? If I say well, does that sound like I don't care? But if I say I'm not, will he worry? I've never been so concerned about how I answered a simple question before. "I'm doing quite well," I say. "And you?" Did you - " I realise there's little I can ask that won't potentially be upsetting, so I settle on "vote in the election? Apparently there was a high turnout."

[brotherlaurence]

She's well, and though a tiny part of me hates to hear it, I am glad of it.

"I'm glad to hear that," I tell her.

"And you?" Did you - " she hesitates and I raise my eyebrow a little, even though I know it must be awkward to try to be conversational with me. I wish it weren't. "vote in the election? Apparently there was a high turnout."

"Yes, I did. I'm sure you did, too." I laugh a little and look around, nodding to the woman who'd made my appointment to speak to the council members. "It was insisted upon, if I'm to buy property." My eyes go back to Kate and I feel a little of my own anxiety fade. I have missed her, but I have other things to do in my life. She has, too, other more important things than life with a retired preacher that scares off everyone he meets. "How did the meeting go?" I ask in a lower voice, casting my eyes about and noting that no one I know to be...evil is around.

[kateohara]

"Buying property?" I say, raising my eyebrows slightly. "Are you moving out of Cain's home?" I ask.

"How did the meeting go?"

"It went quite well," I say, matching his low tone. "Several people came, and although we have not found out anything in particular yet, I'm hopeful that together we can come up with some ideas." I pause and bite my lip. "I would have invited you, but... I wasn't sure you would want to come." To see me is what I mean, but don't say.

[brotherlaurence]

"Perhaps some day," I say with a smile. "When Cain's hospitality has waned, or when he and Kaeli decide they might as well only have one home between them. But no, for the church."

"It went quite well. Several people came, and although we have not found out anything in particular yet, I'm hopeful that together we can come up with some ideas. I would have invited you, but... I wasn't sure you would want to come." I nod and ignore the pain I feel at the exclusion. I feel more because she likely felt too uncomfortable with the idea, much like I think I am making her feel now.

"I assumed as much," I say. "Cain had invited me, but he agreed it would perhaps be best if I didn't come." My shoulders lift in a shrug. "You should be comfortable with everyone involved in things like that. One never knows who one is talking too around here."

[kateohara]

"So you're going ahead with your idea for the church? Oh, Laurence, that's wonderful," I say, and I give him a genuine smile. I think building a church will be a better use of Laurence's talents than street preaching. I can see him being a pastor, comforting parishioners, arranging services, and I feel a pang as I think of how I could have been involved in that, too. Well. I can still go to his church, I am sure, and I will.

"You should be comfortable with everyone involved in things like that. One never knows who one is talking too around here."

I bite my lip again, feeling sorry that my discomfort is obvious.

"It wasn't about me. Well, not all. I didn't want you to feel... unhappy," I say softly. "I wasn't sure if seeing me was good for you." It's been 10 days, and so much has changed. It is very strange.

[brotherlaurence]

"Your idea," I correct her and my gaze softens a little. "It was a good one. Thank you."

"It wasn't about me. Well, not all. I didn't want you to feel... unhappy. I wasn't sure if seeing me was good for you." My body pulls in a deep breath and I look down, fighting the pain I feel at that. She wasn't sure if it would hurt me. No mention of it hurting her. Knowing where I now stand with her, the fact that I am the weak one who is in love and hurt and she is fine but awkward, it makes my head move into a nod without me willing it and I swallow hard. It wasn't about her at all. I meant that little, except as a friend she didn't want to hurt

[kateohara]

I don't know what I've said to Laurence to upset him so, but he escapes as quickly as he can. I sink back onto the bench, my good mood of earlier deflated. I don't know what I'm supposed to say to Laurence, and clearly I did a bad job of what I did say. What a mess. I see Mrs Wilson and Amanda looking curiously at me. I know Amanda's noticed Laurence hasn't been in the store lately, but I haven't spoken to her about it. I suppose I should. I rub the space between my eyes and sigh a little.

[karina_vb]

I force a smile as we move through the crowd, my hands squeezing Leah's own small hand, then Maryk's large one. They support me as much as they walk beside me. Poor Leah, poor Maryk. Both looking at me carefully every day as if I might slip away to insanity if they look away or look too hard.

Slip, slip away.

Slip.

Kate I see sitting, her hands to her face. What of her boyfriend, I wonder. Wonder wonder. I drag them behind me but they're in front of me almost, looks cast between them like I can't see.

"Kate," I say and give her a smile. "Hello."

[maryk_graeb]

Still no sleeping for Karina. I'm not sleeping much anymore either but find that during quiet times or when I'm reading I can't keep my eyes open long. Seems that it doesn't matter how tired Karina looks or acts, she still won't sleep. Or can't sleep. Or... something.

Leah's only more worried. I haven't made it out to see Eris yet. Soon. Has to be soon.

We approach Kate and Karina greets her, a smile on her face and the exhaustion is almost hidden. She looks like she did when we first met. Maybe a little more worn, a little more frayed.

"Hi, Kate."

[kateohara]

I look up and see Karina. One hand is held by Maryk and the other by the pale blonde girl she has taken in - Leah, that was it. When I saw them last, Karina was looking after Leah like she was her own child, but now the situation seems to be reversed. Karina is beautiful, of course, but she looks ill, and very tired.

"Karina," I say, and I nod at Maryk and Leah. "Why don't you sit down?" I say, moving along the bench so she can rest. She looks like she needs it.

[leah_pontarlier]

We slowly wander through the crow; Karina, Maryk and I. We walk on either side of Karina to help her if she needs it. I want to see everything but I don't want Karina to... I don't know. all over over something. I keep looking at Maryk and at Karina and I feel them looking back. Eventually we come up beside Kate who is sitting alone on a bench.

She greets Karina by name and nods to me and Maryk. I don't want to let go of Karina's hand to curtsy properly so I nod back.

Why don't you sit down? Kate asks, looking at Karina and moving herself to one side on the bench. I look to Maryk to see if he thinks this is a good idea.

[maryk_graeb]

"Why don't you sit down?" offers Kate and she slides down the bench she's sitting on to make room. A smile, a real one, tugs at the corners of my mouth.

"Thanks, Kate," I say and gently lead Karina to sit down. "How've you been lately?"

[karina_vb]

I mutter about not needing help while Maryk helps me sit beside Kate.

"Yes, thank you. How is that boyfriend of yours?" we ask with a smile of complete oblivious innocence and I wonder if maybe she has a headache. We cast Leah a smile, catching her hand lightly and giving it a squeeze. So sweet of her to worry about me.

Sweet.