requiem

[essgee]

i sit here
wondering, thinking
remembering
the sealed lies
locked away in a box
the betrayal and self-indulgence
on that fateful day

i remember it
flocks of people
running to and fro
exchanging smiles and laughter
as i stare through the glass
at the glistening metal
"i'll take it," i say
as the man in black wraps it with paper

i've done something good
this is what i always wanted

so vapid was the night
meaningless and angry
i wish i had seen it before
save myself the trouble
save myself the anguish

back to the store i went
prized possession in hand
"it's not the right time," i say
the man in black simply nods
and returns with a slip
"i'm sorry," he says procuring a smile
it isn't his fault
yet, i return his smile

days and months pass
the deception never left
i wish i had seen it
save myself the trouble
save myself the anguish

now, as i sit here
emotionless and cheated
all i can do is smile
it wasn't my fault
i wish i had seen it
for the true colors

a sack over the eyes
slugged in the stomach
left for dead
not a care in the world
and the lies continue

at least it's not my problem
at least i don't have to worry
focusing on the important things
like life

i sit here smiling