Whatever Gets the Job Done: Part 1
Title: Whatever Gets The Job Done
Author: essenity
Rating: R/NC-17
Pairing: Harry/Draco, background Ron/Hermione
Warnings: The usual sex and language. Mentions of (previous) torture, gang rape (not between Harry and Draco), dub-con, Top!Draco (although never for Harry and only with an unnamed stranger), mentions of Draco having experiences with women and finally, this story occurs in a world where mpreg is a possibility. Un-beta'd (just jumped back into fandom so I don't have one).
Disclaimer: I own nothing. JK Rowling owns everything. No money is being made by me.
Notes: features Auror!Draco and of course, Auror!Harry. Story centers around them so only brief appearances by other characters.
Summary: After the war, Harry and Draco pass Auror training in two years and become partners in their field work. Despite an unfortunate event, their relationship grows and they the distinction between colleagues and lovers blur.
Harry woke with a smile on his face. He could feel the warmth radiating from Draco still sleeping beside him. As if to make sure of reality, he slid his arm slowly across the small gap between them and rested it against Draco's body. As he counted Draco's breathing, he closed his eyes. Harry couldn't remember if there was a specific point in time that distinguished their relationship from colleagues to lovers. He could only remember how things gradually changed and it were those changes in small details that developed their fairy tale to where they were now.
It had been two months into their official posts as Aurors when Draco had punched Harry out of anger while on a mission. Thinking back now, Harry could still see Draco's look of absolute fear turning into pure anger when Harry had blown open his prison cell. They both reached for each other, Harry hauled Draco to his feet and the two of them ran until they were sure nothing was around. Harry had been in the wrong, he had acted upon his own instinct and without consultation with his partner, he had offered Draco up as bait. Draco didn't know at the time, but Harry already had rescue plans thought out which was the only reason Draco had been alive to be angry enough to sock Harry in the head. Perhaps it was out of frustration or sadness brewed from the realisation that his partner didn't trust him, Harry reacted by throwing a punch back and soon after, the two were rolling around in a field trying to kill each other.
When Harry stopped fighting back, Draco continued until his anger slipped into relief. Harry was lying on his back with Draco sitting on top of him, throwing punch after punch to his torso. Instead of pain, he could only feel the cold morning dew soaking through his robes. The sun was rising and birds had started chirping but it wasn't the colours of dawn that Harry remembered. It was the expressions on Draco's face that had tugged at his heart. When Draco let his guard down, he was very expressive and as Harry watched the anger leave his partner's face, he reached up and cupped Draco's face with his right hand. I'm sorry, Harry had said and Draco burst into tears.
I fucking hate you, Potter! Draco choked, his clenched fists dug into the ground either side of Harry's head. Stop looking at me! I hate you, you bastard! And due to emotional distress, Draco plunged down and kissed Harry passionately on the mouth. That was their first kiss; it was cold, harsh, painful and tasted of blood, and tears or sweat, or rain or a combination of all. They only stopped because Draco started choking. He pulled himself off Harry's face and used the back of his hand to wipe his mouth. I didn't mean to. Draco murmured. I don't know why I did that. Why can't I stop crying?! True to his word, tears continued falling and that was when Harry noticed Draco's grey eyes. They weren't grey before; Draco's eyes turns purple when he's furious. Harry smiled at the realisation but that just caused Draco to go hysterical. What's so funny? Draco had wailed. I thought you abandoned me!
Harry burst out laughing and replied softly I didn't.
I thought you were finally getting your revenge. Draco burst into tears again.
Don't be ridiculous. Together with his other hand, Harry pulled Draco down into a hug. They lay in embrace for over an hour; Harry stroked Draco's hair and patted his back while Draco wailed into Harry's bloody robes.
------
When Draco had exhausted his emotions, he peeled himself off, pulled Harry up off the ground and made Harry swear on his parents grave (and Dumbledore's) that he would never speak of this to anyone. Harry merely nodded and the two of them cleaned up and walked towards the train station, too exhausted to travel by magic. It was a long journey from their location in Russia to the border where Harry had a portkey waiting. But it was just long enough for Draco. Two hours into their ride, Draco finally turned to face Harry.
"Next time tell me, you bastard!"
Harry nodded. "Thought you decided you'll never talk to me again."
"Only if you pull that shit again. I almost died, you sick man."
Harry nodded again. "I'm sorry."
"You stupid cow. What if it didn't work? You didn't even inform the office! What if you've destroyed your career?" Draco was wringing his hands anxiously.
Harry shrugged. "It doesn't matter now. You're alive. I'm alive. Whatever gets the job done." Draco kicked the side of the compartment. "You'll be lucky if you still have a job, you prick." Harry leaned back and closed his eyes. Draco was right. He had gone against protocol, ignored warnings and broken at least five international laws. He didn't even want to think how many Muggle laws he had broken. Harry had grown irritated by the multitude of protocols and laws. They didn't have that during the war and things got done quicker. It was their first real mission together in the field, in the real world. There were no back up plans, no safety nets, no supervisors and certainly no time outs. What was supposed to be a simple swap and drop mission turned into kidnap and ransom. One which a United Kingdom Auror was held hostage and tortured in Russia for nearly two months.
When they arrived back at the office, Harry and Draco were swept away, their wands confiscated as per protocol and were separated into different interrogation rooms to be debriefed. Harry sat alone on the cold plastic chair, his head in his arms against the table top. Both pieces of furniture were magically secured to the floor. For Harry, debriefing quickly turned into interrogation, and two hours turned into five. Arnold Armiston, his primary handler had taken a five minute loo break and returned with a bottle of water for Harry. Armiston, a thin Asian man with a round face, balding head and wore wireless glasses, was surrounded by rumours. Armiston only returned to work for the British Ministry of Magic after the war ended, two years prior. Rumour had it he was mixed race, hence his appearance and name. There was another rumour which was quite popular amongst the ladies; he married a British noble and had taken her last name out of respect as she was the only child. The third rumour was that his appearance was just glamour and charms, after all he had been the Head of Disguise and Deception (the sister department of Concealment and Disguise) before he disappeared for ten years. There were also rumours around his disappearance. Harry thought Armiston didn't so much disappear than was planted as a mole in East Asia.
Armiston was one of the few who chose to wear Muggle suits instead of robes. His suit today was reddish brown, similar to the colour of rust. His fashion sense often made Draco and Harry gag. "Let's carry on shall we, Auror Potter?" Armiston let out a heavy sigh as he shuffled the documents around with one hand and pinched the bridge of his nose with the other. Harry lifted his head off his arms and scowled. "I just need to get this straight in my head. Make sure I've got everything right on record."
"I don't see what else we have to go over. I've repeated my statement three times, and I know you've got it recorded perfectly. I've seen your notes before."
Armiston put everything down, clasped his hands on the table and leaned in towards Harry. "Let me rephrase. If what you say is indeed the truth, you purposefully ignored protocols, broke international laws, betrayed your partner, set him up in a vulnerable position and let him get tortured for six weeks before you finally managed to get him out? Of which, you didn't bother to inform the office of your plans because you forgot?"
Harry sat back in his chair. "That's correct. But I didn't so much forget-"
"You forgot." Armiston interrupted and picked up his quill again. "You do realise if I put this version forward to our superiors, we will have no choice but to launch a full investigation. You and Auror Malfoy will be put on suspension for the duration which will most likely take just under a month."
Harry nodded and reached for his bottle of water. He uncapped it and took a swig.
"Auror Potter... Harry," Armiston had a note of urgency in his voice. "Do you understand what this means? You could lose your job."
Harry didn't say anything. He had nothing to say. Nothing he could say.
At that moment, the was a long beep followed by a knock on the door. The door swung open and Ray Leeburn, his secondary handler walked in. Leeburn was young and composed. His physique was lean but shorter than the average male. His eyes are a piercing blue, a long face framed by brown hair. A good looking man with a better looking wife. Without so much of a glance at Harry, he walked up to Armiston and the two exchanged few words before Armiston cleared his throat and declared, "Okay, send him in." With a swish of navy robes, Leeburn left the room. Not two seconds later, Draco walked in with Leeburn close behind.
Without waiting for the door to shut, Draco launched into a spew, mostly directed at Harry. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Are you insane? We worked so hard to come up with that plan and now you're just going to throw your career away? If you didn't want to be an Auror in the first place, why the fuck did you even apply? Or did you just want to take all the credit for yourself? It's not enough to be just the Great Harry Potter?"
Harry's mouth dropped open. Draco had covered for him.
Draco swung around to Armiston. "I know you've got different notes than Leeburn, that's because this prat over here is lying. You know Potter, he's got some stupid hero complex that's a mile long in crazy. He gets off on saving people. It's not enough he's saved the world, my world, my life, my home, my family... He also needs to save my career. We both came up with that plan together. We both decided how to do it. And we both set off to do it together."
Armiston was not convinced. "Auror Malfoy, you were held captive for six weeks. I haven't read your statement yet, but I can't imagine it was a holiday. You could have died."
"No." Draco insisted. "It was planned out thoroughly. I trust my partner. I trust him with my life."
That was a lie. Draco trusted no one. Everyone knew that.
"It still stands," Armiston continued. "If this is the truth, you two still didn't report it beforehand."
A look of irritation flirted across Draco's face. "Look, we were in a foreign country. We had to think fast and act when the situation changed. We went in as Muggles, if we contacted the office in any way our cover would have been blown. We couldn't risk having our mail intercepted."
Armiston stared at his paperwork and then he got up. "Potter, you are one lucky son of a bitch. Are you going to change your story now or stick with what we've got?"
"Of course he's going to change his story." Draco interrupted impatiently. "He's not completely stupid, he's a Gryffindor. Gryffindors don't lie."
"Gryffindors don't usually send their partners into enemy base alone with no wand either." Leeburn said.
"Oh shut up," Draco waved a hand, getting more impatient. "That part was my idea. I figured between the two of us, it would make more sense to send me in."
"Why? Because of your extensive espionage history?" Leeburn muttered.
Draco's arm dropped to his side, a look of uncertainty laced with slight panic flashed across his eyes. Leeburn was referring to Draco's officially recorded history as a spy during the war. After Voldemort's death, the Malfoy's were sitting together in front of the judge waiting for their sentence before Harry walked in to testify. He claimed the Malfoy family had been spies all along, showing the judge snippets of memories containing their secret meetings all around Hogwarts during their sixth year. It took Harry so long to come forward because he had to cut his memories and piece different parts together, but without altering them to make it appear as if they were working together. Draco had been stunned speechless; they both knew Harry was just stalking Draco due to suspicions. Harry's testimony was the only reason Draco could become an Auror. "Why does it matter? We're both alive and well, and we've got the intel." Draco's voice was hoarse.
Harry stood up and grabbed Draco by the robes, pulling him back. "You're shaking," he whispered. "Calm down." Draco didn't even look at him.
Armiston rubbed the bridge of his nose again before heading to the door. "I need to discuss this with the Head Auror. You two are dismissed. You'll be on leave for the next week. Report back on the first of May, usual time."
"Yessir."
Armiston paused, "don't get this wrong. I might have to contact you after my discussion with the Head Auror. You could be suspended instead. Until further notice." Armiston nodded and left with Leeburn.
A minute of silence passed before Harry spoke. "Thanks, Malfoy. You didn't have to-"
"Shut the fuck up, Potter." Draco wrenched himself out of Harry's grip. "I'm still pissed. I'm going home." With three long strides, he reached the doorway.
"Thanks, Malfoy. I'm glad you're safe."
Without turning around, Draco paused before grunting in response. "Whatever gets the job done, right?"
-----
"What are you thinking of?"
Harry opened his eyes in surprised and turned his head. "How'd you know I'm awake?" Harry shifted onto his side so he was facing Draco.
Draco's grey eyes stared back, his messy hair framed his face. "Your breathing." Draco said simply before pulling himself out of bed.
"I was thinking about our first mission."
"Ah... Whatever gets the job done." Harry watched as Draco pulled on some pants before making his way to the bathroom. Harry could hear the tap running and then sounds of Draco brushing his teeth.
That's right, Harry thought. He couldn't remember when it happened. Well, it was almost all a gradual change. First it was a toothbrush, then it was a mug. Then when Harry was shopping one day, he absently added Draco's usual shampoo and conditioner to his shopping cart. Then it was a set of fresh robes for when Draco stayed the night. Then it was a book Draco liked to read. Then it was a towel. Then... Then there was a drawer set aside for when Draco forgot to take his knick knacks. In the beginning, it was only on Friday nights. Friday was celebration night. Draco and Harry would have dinner and perhaps a couple of drinks in celebration of surviving another week on the field. Harry would insist on Draco staying the night; he was too drunk to Apparate. Draco would sleep on the couch... So when did Draco migrate to his bed? Ah, that's right. They kissed the second time one Saturday morning after Draco woke up. It was unusual for Draco to sleep in so late and Harry had been watching him sleep. He pretended he wasn't watching, instead, he had been leaning against the door frame, eating ice cream out of the container. When Draco questioned Harry with his eyes, Harry just shrugged, you're sleeping on my couch. So all I can do is stand. Want some breakfast?
Halfway through breakfast, Draco dropped his toast in panic. He forgot about the brunch date with his mother. A look of horror had appeared on Draco's face. Never once had he forgotten a brunch date with his mother. He was already an hour late, his mother would most likely kill him. Still in shock, his brain scrambled to think. What should he do? What could he do? Nothing really. He'd have to buy a present (a very expensive present) and grovel to his mother. It was at that moment, Harry reached over the counter, grabbed his chin and leaned in to kiss Draco. "If you're worried about your lunch date with mum, don't worry about it. She called earlier this morning asking if you were here. I told her you're still sleeping. She didn't want to wake you."
"What the fuck?! Why did you say anything?! Why would she call here?!" Draco got off his stool, the legs scraping across the hardwood floor.
Harry just shrugged and took another bite of his toast. "She said she's going out for a couple of hours so she'd be back just after noon. If you weren't at home waiting for her, she'd come over."
"But why would she call you?!" Draco was already changing into his fresh robes. Harry would have to do laundry later. Just before Draco stepped into the fireplace, he stopped and turned to Harry. "You kissed me." He said simply, his eyes wide, as if he just realised.
"Sorry."
Draco didn't have the time to ponder. He turned and disappeared into the fireplace. He didn't want to keep his mother waiting.
After that incident, Friday night stays turned into longer stays. Draco stopped leaving straight after breakfast, then one day he slept over on Saturday night as well and then they turned into weekend sleepovers. On the weekends, they did their laundry together, went grocery shopping and sometimes they watched Muggles moving in a box - Harry called it a movie. Saturday was game day. The two of them either played Quidditch with each other, against each other or went to a match. Saturday night was party night. Either together or separately, they would go to gatherings. Usually together as they ran in the same crowds now. Sundays were quiet. Sometimes they would laze around, reading or researching or perfecting their personas for their mission. Sunday night, they would cook together. The two of them would arrive together at the office on Monday mornings and leave together on Friday afternoons. They were dating, they were in a relationship, they were lovers... And they didn't even realise it.
When was the last time Draco mentioned a potential love interest? Harry couldn't remember. One Friday Draco didn't turn up to Harry's place so Harry popped over unannounced to Draco's. He had walked into Draco fucking some young thing. Harry couldn't remember if he apologised, because he left instantly. They never spoke of that incident so perhaps if had been a dream?
So when did Draco start staying permanently? Oh. That's right. There had been a two month mission, the two of them stayed together. When they weren't at the office, they were at a hotel, discussing the best course of action. They had gotten so used to each other every minute of every day for two months, after the mission ended, they felt uncomfortable. Harry had stuffed an overnight bag and was half way out his door when he noticed Draco was already standing outside his flat with his weekend bag even though it was a Wednesday. Draco had eyed his bag and simply said, "hey. You've got plans already?"
"No," Harry murmured. "I was coming over to your place."
"What if I wasn't home? I mean, look at me, do I look like I don't have a life?" Harry merely grabbed Draco by the arm and yanked him inside. He slammed the door and pushed Draco up against it. That night, they fucked for hours.
That wasn't our first time though.
Slowly and gradually, more and more of Draco's things appeared at Harry's. One by one, pile by pile.
------
"Oi. Are you just going to stay in bed all day?" Draco's slightly irritated voice jerked Harry upright. "Breakfast." Draco jerked his thumb towards the kitchen before disappearing from the bedroom doorway.
"Draco." Harry called. Seconds later, Draco's head appeared again from the door.
"What? Your food is getting cold."
Harry ignored him. "It's been three years already, hasn't it?"
Draco looked confused. "Three years for what?"
"Since you...you know." Harry trailed off.
"Since you handed me over to be confined and tortured for six weeks? Since I covered your ass? Since I kissed you? Which one is it?" Draco gets irritated easily when he's been kept waiting.
"Since we started. Since we... Draco, I've never told you my feelings."
Draco's features softened. "Oh Potter, don't go all reminiscent on me now."
"I love you, Draco." Harry blurted out. This was the first time he said it.
Draco shifted. "I know, Harry." He finally said. "You don't have to say it. I know."
Draco didn't return words of love that day. Nor that week. Nor that month. It was as if he had forgotten. But that was okay because Harry knew. He knew Draco loved him back. He knew because Draco talks in his sleep after a particularly stressful day.
It was all fun and games, when did they get so serious?
-----
I suppose we've always been serious to begin with. Harry turned off the shower and stepped out.
When they left the office the day they were debriefed, it was drizzling. Neither had bought an umbrella, Draco was already in a foul mood and had stomped off. The rain didn't stop. It continued raining for days. By the second day, Harry had become irritated. Officially they weren't suspended, but officially they weren't on holiday either. That meant Harry had to stick on the radar, he couldn't leave the city, much less the country. In the afternoon on the second day, Harry received a call to return to the office for a meeting with the Head Auror.
"Harry, I'm getting old." He said. "I want to retire. Perhaps sometime in the next decade if I'm lucky. So don't do dumb things. You're on the list of people I want to groom to take my place. So don't fuck it up and get yourself fired before you even get the chance to be considered Head Auror."
"Thank you, sir."
"Don't thank me. Thank your partner." He slid a sealed document across the table to Harry. It had "confidential" charmed around it. "That's a copy of your partner's recount. Auror Malfoy has given permission to have that released to you. He said the password for that document is the first phrase you said to him when the two of you were assigned as partners. It's up to you if you want to read it. I suggest you do but I'm warning you, it's detailed and heartbreaking. Dismissed."
Harry didn't move. "Something wrong, Potter?" Harry continued to stare, the confidential document in is hands. The Head Auror sighed. "Do you need counselling too? Because that can be arranged if you need."
"Counselling?"
"Malfoy is getting counselling."
"He is?" Harry shifted uncomfortably. This was his fault.
"It's mandatory."
"Oh."
When neither made another move, the Head Auror broke the silence. "Is there anything else you need? Because I have mountains of paperwork to do. You two aren't the only Aurors here."
"I was wondering," Harry spoke up. "Malfoy said we got the intel. How exactly did he get it? We didn't have time to take anything."
"Ah..." The Head Auror smiled. "Your partner has a good brain." He tapped his quill to his temple. "It's true his captors spoke almost entirely in Russian. But you know those Russians like their vodka and boy, do they talk. Malfoy wrote down everything he could remember from the guards' conversations. It's taking some time, we have a translator working on it. It seems Malfoy picked up on various phrases that were highly repeated. So he remembered them."
That night, Harry had opened his only bottle of vodka - kinda fitting, don't you think? With one hand holding the bottle, his other gripped the document. Harry couldn't decide if he wanted to read it. He couldn't decide if he wanted to drink the vodka either. He sat for hours in his study before he finally hid the document in his desk drawer. He didn't have the guts to read it yet. If Draco really wanted him to know, wouldn't he tell him personally?
He returned his full bottle of vodka back to its place on the shelf before heading towards his bed. It was still pouring. He had barley tucked himself in when frantic knocking started at his door. Harry opened one eye and peaked at the glowing numbers of his Muggle clock. It was just past 2 AM He could pretend. He rolled onto his side and pulled the covers over his head. Not a minute passed and the knocking started again. Then the doorbell.
Harry groaned and dragged himself out of bed. Perhaps it was important. He grabbed his wand, swung open the door of his flat and his jaw dropped. Draco Malfoy was standing outside his door, completely soaked. His blonde hair plastered to his face, he had terrible bags under his bloodshot eyes. He was only wearing a thin, white robe and his arms wrapped around his waist. He was shaking terribly. Harry squinted at Draco's face. He couldn't tell if his partner had been crying or if it was just the rain.
"Potter, please," Draco croaked. "There's no where I can go. I didn't want to come here, but before I knew it... Please, just let me in."
Harry stepped aside. "What happened to you? Did you lose your wand or something?" Draco shook his head. "Well are you coming in or not?" Draco didn't move, it was as if he was frozen.
Harry was growing more irritated by the second. He grabbed Draco roughly by the arm and yanked him inside before slamming the door. He didn't notice Draco flinching.
"You must have gone mad." Harry muttered as he pulled Draco's shivering frame to the bathroom.
Five steps away, Draco resisted. "Could you just dry me off with your wand?" Draco's eyes darted from the bathroom door to Harry's wand.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Don't be stupid. You're cold to the bone. Don't tell me you think I'll do anything to you in the shower. That only happens in movies."
Draco shifted his weight uncomfortably and averted his eyes.
"You can't be serious." Harry said after a minute. "Okay, fine." He took out his wand and muttered a quick dry spell then pointed his wand at the bathroom. The tap turned on, and water flowing started. "Take your time, I'm going to start a fire."
When Harry returned to the corridor where he left Draco five minutes ago, Draco was no longer there. The bathroom door was still open so Harry walked towards it. "You could have closed the door you know. I'm not a complete arse, you're allowed to have your privacy." When no reply came from inside, Harry peaked around the door. The water was running but there was no one inside. Slightly pissed with Draco, he turned off the tap and went in search for him. "Come out now, you can stop hiding. I won't make you take a shower. You can freeze to death for all I care."
Harry searched his flat twice. Every room, from the kitchen, to the guest room, to the bathroom again, in his bedroom, in his lounge and even in his linen closet. Perhaps I'm the one going mad. Did Malfoy really come?
It wasn't until he looked inside his study for the third time. He would have missed Draco if not for the flash of lightening. Harry's face paled. He turned on the lights before he dropped to his knees and crawled towards his partner, who was cramped up under his desk. Draco's knees were pulled against his chest, his hands pressed to both sides of his head, covering his ears and his eyes were wide in terror.
"Malfoy?" Harry was just out from under his table. "What's wrong?" Draco didn't respond. "Okay, just come out." When Draco didn't move, Harry lunged forward, grabbed Draco by the shoulders and pulled him out from under his desk.
"NOOOO!!!" Draco shrieked which caused Harry to wince.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
"TURN IT OFF!!! TURN THE WATER OFF!!!"
Harry gripped Draco's shoulders and shouted in his face, "I already turned it off!! Calm down! I won't make you take a shower! So just calm the fuck down!"
Draco continued shouting, Harry started to panic. The only time he's seen Draco this mad was back in sixth year. Well, this could be worse. Draco was crying, his arms no longer wrapped around his waist but instead, gripped onto Harry's arms. Harry's hands gripped Draco's shoulders, "I don't know what you want! I already turned the water off!" Harry started to shake Draco by the shoulders.
Draco only cried harder.
Harry released Draco and stood up. He couldn't handle this. Just as he turned to leave, Draco lunged forward and gripped the hem of Harry's robes, almost causing Harry to trip. "Please, don't leave me. Help me!"
"I am helping you!" Harry grunted. "Let me go, you need help and I'm going to call for it."
"No!" Draco shrieked. "Just turn it off! I can still hear it!"
"I don't understand what you want! I already turned it off!" Harry shoved his hands into his pockets to prevent himself from smacking Draco in the face.
"Turn off the water! I'll be fine if you turn it off!!!"
It took a minute for Harry to get it. It was the flash of lightening across the room that caused Harry to understand. Harry pointed his wand at the windows and cast a silencing spell. Instantly, everything went quite. They could no longer hear the storm. The sound of raindrops hitting the roof or the ground, the sound of the howling wind, the sound of tree branches scratching on the windows, the sound of water gushing through the pipes into the gutters. The only sound they could hear was the heavy breathing in the room and Draco's occasional gasps for breath. Harry slid to the floor and let Draco lean against him. There were no words exchanged, it was unnecessary. When Draco calmed down, Harry hauled him to his feet and led him to the living room and directed him to the couch in front of the now blazing fireplace.
Harry made a hot cup of water and shoved it into Draco's hands. "That's all I've got. Drink that and get some sleep. As soon as you wake up, I'm taking you to the hospital."
Draco drank the water, "I don't need the hospital. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I just need a few days, I'll get over it."
"You need help, Malfoy." Harry pressed.
"I don't." Draco growled. "Like I said, I'm fine, I don't need help. I'll get over it."
Harry sighed, "okay, whatever. Sleep here tonight. I'm tied. You must be exhausted."
"Okay."
-----
Harry woke up in the morning to a strange smell. Or rather, he woke up to delicious aroma wafting in from the kitchen. For a minute, he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. There's nothing like waking up to a home cooked meal. Indeed, there's nothing like it, because it wasn't Christmas, it wasn't a special holiday and he wasn't in Ron's room. Harry bolted out of bed and ran towards the kitchen. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Draco had taken over his kitchen. There, on his kitchen bench was a plate filled entirely of bacon, three plates of eggs cooked in different manner, a plate of toasted bread, a mixing bowl was used to hold baked beans. There were three differently decorated cakes sitting on the table. At that moment, the oven made a noise, Harry jumped and Draco opened the oven. There was a roast in the oven.
Harry looked out the window. It was still raining.
"I didn't know what you liked." Draco's soft voice caught Harry's attention.
"So you made everything? Did you even sleep? You need some serious help. God, I'm surprised you can even operate a Muggle oven."
A pained look crossed Draco's features. "This is helping. I'm coping. I'll be fine by Monday. I'll be fine by tonight. The rain will stop. As for the oven... Well you wouldn't know this but all the Aurors who never took Muggle Studies or weren't brought up Muggle had a two week intensive training course for basic survival without magic."
"Where did you get all the ingredients?"
"Mum sent them over by Floo."
"Your mother knows about this?"
Draco looked away. "Help yourself. There's chocolate cake, strawberry shortcake and banana cake. Sorry, the icing might be too sweet. I'm going to cut this up. Don't worry, mum sent over containers too."
"Malfoy," Harry said sharply. Draco flinched. "Your mother, she knows you have a problem?"
Draco drew in a sharp breath. "I don't have a problem. I told her you we are stuck here due to the storm and you have nothing to eat. She went a little overboard."
"Like mother like son." Harry muttered under his breath.
Draco must have heard because he turned away. "You should see my mum now. She absolutely adores you after... She absolutely adores you now."
"I can see that." Harry replied dryly.
The rain didn't stop that night. It continued for the entire week. Harry had to keep charming his flat to keep the noise out. Draco refused to leave the flat, so Harry let him stay. They had enough food to last a week (probably a month). Draco managed to convince Harry not to speak a word of his breakdown - he would "get over it soon enough". On the first day, Harry found out Draco hadn't slept since they got back. It wasn't a big deal, he was sleeping now. On the second day, Harry found out Draco washed himself with a bucket of water and a cloth. Draco shrugged it off, claiming he got used to it. That was when Harry noticed the fading scars in his back. The ones Draco got while in Russian captivity. On the third day Draco mustered up the courage to ask. "Do you know what happened to me?"
"No." Harry looked up from his newspaper. They were sitting at the kitchen table, waiting. That's all they did all week. Waiting. Waiting for the rain to stop. Waiting for the next meal. Waiting for the day's newspaper. Just waiting.
"They didn't tell you?"
Harry shook his head. "They gave me a copy of your statement instead."
"You didn't read it?"
"No."
Draco frowned. "Why not? You're my partner, you probably should know."
"Do you want me to know?"
Draco shifted uncomfortably. "It doesn't matter I suppose."
"Yes it does." Harry said softly. "I'll read it when you're ready."
"You mean you'll read it when you're ready."
They dropped the topic. The rain stopped that night and Draco went home.
-----
Two weeks later, Harry found out Draco wasn't seeing the therapist. When he confronted Draco, Draco avoided the question. When he confronted Draco again, Draco replied, "in our first session, she wanted me to change partners. At least for a couple of months. Apparently you need to earn my trust again. She's working on the assumption we lied and that you abandoned me. So I according to her, I have trust issues and abandonment issues. And post traumatic disorder."
"Maybe she's right." Harry said. "It wouldn't hurt, right?"
Draco shoved Harry away. "You don't want me anymore? Well this isn't your choice. I choose to be your partner. You're stuck with me." He gave Harry another push for good measure then walked away.
"That's not what I meant and you know it!" Harry shouted after him.
"Fine!" Came Draco's response. That afternoon, Draco applied for a partner transfer.
Three days later, on a Saturday afternoon, Draco showed up at Harry's doorstep. When Harry opened the door, Draco simply said, "it's going to rain tonight." Harry let him in and Draco slept on the couch.
Barely a week later, Draco was reassigned back as Harry's partner. "I got a new shrink. This one is better for me."
"Why?"
"The last one kept wanting me to change. Change isn't good. It can be bad. I think it's bad. At least for me now." It was the first Celebration Friday they shared.
"So... You trust me again?"
Draco's grey eyes stared at Harry from across the room. Draco was curled up in the corner of the sofa, one hand resting on the arm of the sofa. He turned his head and sipped the wine in his glass. "It's not what you think. It's not what they think. It's not that I don't trust you because you dumped me over to the Russians. I trust you because you got me out."
Draco was scheduled for counselling three times a week. Harry goes once a week with Draco on Friday afternoons, just before work ends. At first, Harry felt unsure and awkward. Turns out, Draco doesn't talk much. In fact, he does talk at all. He just sits there, sometimes he reads a book, sometimes he naps. The therapist spends the hours doing paperwork for other patients. Draco called them crazies. One Friday afternoon, Draco fell asleep as soon as he hit the couch. Harry shifted around uncomfortably for fifteen minutes, alternating between staring at Draco's sleeping form and the therapist's working form.
He looked over to make sure Draco was asleep, when he was satisfied, he shifted his chair right up to the therapist's desk. "I thought talking was supposed to happen in therapy." He whispered.
The therapist set his things down and leaned forward. "You don't have to whisper." He whispered back.
"Why are you whispering?" Harry asked, wishing he didn't start talking.
"Because you are."
"Okay, why aren't you fixing my partner?"
The therapist shrugs, "not everyone wants fixing, Harry. Not everyone needs fixing. Not everyone fits in a box. Sometimes patients come in so they can sleep for an hour. If it helps, it helps. Therapy isn't always about talking. It's not always about therapy."
"Does he sleep here on Mondays and Wednesdays?"
"No. On Mondays Draco talks the most. Wednesdays are different."
"How?"
"That's as much as I can tell you Harry."
"He's my partner. Shouldn't I know?"
"Yes, Draco is your partner. Maybe you shouldn't be asking me."
Harry sat back in his chair.
"Have you read his statement yet, Harry?"
Startled, Harry looked up.
"Why not? Is there something you're afraid of? What is holding you back from reading Draco's statement?"
It hit Harry then. The shrink sessions on Fridays weren't for Draco. They were for Harry.
Author: essenity
Rating: R/NC-17
Pairing: Harry/Draco, background Ron/Hermione
Warnings: The usual sex and language. Mentions of (previous) torture, gang rape (not between Harry and Draco), dub-con, Top!Draco (although never for Harry and only with an unnamed stranger), mentions of Draco having experiences with women and finally, this story occurs in a world where mpreg is a possibility. Un-beta'd (just jumped back into fandom so I don't have one).
Disclaimer: I own nothing. JK Rowling owns everything. No money is being made by me.
Notes: features Auror!Draco and of course, Auror!Harry. Story centers around them so only brief appearances by other characters.
Summary: After the war, Harry and Draco pass Auror training in two years and become partners in their field work. Despite an unfortunate event, their relationship grows and they the distinction between colleagues and lovers blur.
Harry woke with a smile on his face. He could feel the warmth radiating from Draco still sleeping beside him. As if to make sure of reality, he slid his arm slowly across the small gap between them and rested it against Draco's body. As he counted Draco's breathing, he closed his eyes. Harry couldn't remember if there was a specific point in time that distinguished their relationship from colleagues to lovers. He could only remember how things gradually changed and it were those changes in small details that developed their fairy tale to where they were now.
It had been two months into their official posts as Aurors when Draco had punched Harry out of anger while on a mission. Thinking back now, Harry could still see Draco's look of absolute fear turning into pure anger when Harry had blown open his prison cell. They both reached for each other, Harry hauled Draco to his feet and the two of them ran until they were sure nothing was around. Harry had been in the wrong, he had acted upon his own instinct and without consultation with his partner, he had offered Draco up as bait. Draco didn't know at the time, but Harry already had rescue plans thought out which was the only reason Draco had been alive to be angry enough to sock Harry in the head. Perhaps it was out of frustration or sadness brewed from the realisation that his partner didn't trust him, Harry reacted by throwing a punch back and soon after, the two were rolling around in a field trying to kill each other.
When Harry stopped fighting back, Draco continued until his anger slipped into relief. Harry was lying on his back with Draco sitting on top of him, throwing punch after punch to his torso. Instead of pain, he could only feel the cold morning dew soaking through his robes. The sun was rising and birds had started chirping but it wasn't the colours of dawn that Harry remembered. It was the expressions on Draco's face that had tugged at his heart. When Draco let his guard down, he was very expressive and as Harry watched the anger leave his partner's face, he reached up and cupped Draco's face with his right hand. I'm sorry, Harry had said and Draco burst into tears.
I fucking hate you, Potter! Draco choked, his clenched fists dug into the ground either side of Harry's head. Stop looking at me! I hate you, you bastard! And due to emotional distress, Draco plunged down and kissed Harry passionately on the mouth. That was their first kiss; it was cold, harsh, painful and tasted of blood, and tears or sweat, or rain or a combination of all. They only stopped because Draco started choking. He pulled himself off Harry's face and used the back of his hand to wipe his mouth. I didn't mean to. Draco murmured. I don't know why I did that. Why can't I stop crying?! True to his word, tears continued falling and that was when Harry noticed Draco's grey eyes. They weren't grey before; Draco's eyes turns purple when he's furious. Harry smiled at the realisation but that just caused Draco to go hysterical. What's so funny? Draco had wailed. I thought you abandoned me!
Harry burst out laughing and replied softly I didn't.
I thought you were finally getting your revenge. Draco burst into tears again.
Don't be ridiculous. Together with his other hand, Harry pulled Draco down into a hug. They lay in embrace for over an hour; Harry stroked Draco's hair and patted his back while Draco wailed into Harry's bloody robes.
------
When Draco had exhausted his emotions, he peeled himself off, pulled Harry up off the ground and made Harry swear on his parents grave (and Dumbledore's) that he would never speak of this to anyone. Harry merely nodded and the two of them cleaned up and walked towards the train station, too exhausted to travel by magic. It was a long journey from their location in Russia to the border where Harry had a portkey waiting. But it was just long enough for Draco. Two hours into their ride, Draco finally turned to face Harry.
"Next time tell me, you bastard!"
Harry nodded. "Thought you decided you'll never talk to me again."
"Only if you pull that shit again. I almost died, you sick man."
Harry nodded again. "I'm sorry."
"You stupid cow. What if it didn't work? You didn't even inform the office! What if you've destroyed your career?" Draco was wringing his hands anxiously.
Harry shrugged. "It doesn't matter now. You're alive. I'm alive. Whatever gets the job done." Draco kicked the side of the compartment. "You'll be lucky if you still have a job, you prick." Harry leaned back and closed his eyes. Draco was right. He had gone against protocol, ignored warnings and broken at least five international laws. He didn't even want to think how many Muggle laws he had broken. Harry had grown irritated by the multitude of protocols and laws. They didn't have that during the war and things got done quicker. It was their first real mission together in the field, in the real world. There were no back up plans, no safety nets, no supervisors and certainly no time outs. What was supposed to be a simple swap and drop mission turned into kidnap and ransom. One which a United Kingdom Auror was held hostage and tortured in Russia for nearly two months.
When they arrived back at the office, Harry and Draco were swept away, their wands confiscated as per protocol and were separated into different interrogation rooms to be debriefed. Harry sat alone on the cold plastic chair, his head in his arms against the table top. Both pieces of furniture were magically secured to the floor. For Harry, debriefing quickly turned into interrogation, and two hours turned into five. Arnold Armiston, his primary handler had taken a five minute loo break and returned with a bottle of water for Harry. Armiston, a thin Asian man with a round face, balding head and wore wireless glasses, was surrounded by rumours. Armiston only returned to work for the British Ministry of Magic after the war ended, two years prior. Rumour had it he was mixed race, hence his appearance and name. There was another rumour which was quite popular amongst the ladies; he married a British noble and had taken her last name out of respect as she was the only child. The third rumour was that his appearance was just glamour and charms, after all he had been the Head of Disguise and Deception (the sister department of Concealment and Disguise) before he disappeared for ten years. There were also rumours around his disappearance. Harry thought Armiston didn't so much disappear than was planted as a mole in East Asia.
Armiston was one of the few who chose to wear Muggle suits instead of robes. His suit today was reddish brown, similar to the colour of rust. His fashion sense often made Draco and Harry gag. "Let's carry on shall we, Auror Potter?" Armiston let out a heavy sigh as he shuffled the documents around with one hand and pinched the bridge of his nose with the other. Harry lifted his head off his arms and scowled. "I just need to get this straight in my head. Make sure I've got everything right on record."
"I don't see what else we have to go over. I've repeated my statement three times, and I know you've got it recorded perfectly. I've seen your notes before."
Armiston put everything down, clasped his hands on the table and leaned in towards Harry. "Let me rephrase. If what you say is indeed the truth, you purposefully ignored protocols, broke international laws, betrayed your partner, set him up in a vulnerable position and let him get tortured for six weeks before you finally managed to get him out? Of which, you didn't bother to inform the office of your plans because you forgot?"
Harry sat back in his chair. "That's correct. But I didn't so much forget-"
"You forgot." Armiston interrupted and picked up his quill again. "You do realise if I put this version forward to our superiors, we will have no choice but to launch a full investigation. You and Auror Malfoy will be put on suspension for the duration which will most likely take just under a month."
Harry nodded and reached for his bottle of water. He uncapped it and took a swig.
"Auror Potter... Harry," Armiston had a note of urgency in his voice. "Do you understand what this means? You could lose your job."
Harry didn't say anything. He had nothing to say. Nothing he could say.
At that moment, the was a long beep followed by a knock on the door. The door swung open and Ray Leeburn, his secondary handler walked in. Leeburn was young and composed. His physique was lean but shorter than the average male. His eyes are a piercing blue, a long face framed by brown hair. A good looking man with a better looking wife. Without so much of a glance at Harry, he walked up to Armiston and the two exchanged few words before Armiston cleared his throat and declared, "Okay, send him in." With a swish of navy robes, Leeburn left the room. Not two seconds later, Draco walked in with Leeburn close behind.
Without waiting for the door to shut, Draco launched into a spew, mostly directed at Harry. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Are you insane? We worked so hard to come up with that plan and now you're just going to throw your career away? If you didn't want to be an Auror in the first place, why the fuck did you even apply? Or did you just want to take all the credit for yourself? It's not enough to be just the Great Harry Potter?"
Harry's mouth dropped open. Draco had covered for him.
Draco swung around to Armiston. "I know you've got different notes than Leeburn, that's because this prat over here is lying. You know Potter, he's got some stupid hero complex that's a mile long in crazy. He gets off on saving people. It's not enough he's saved the world, my world, my life, my home, my family... He also needs to save my career. We both came up with that plan together. We both decided how to do it. And we both set off to do it together."
Armiston was not convinced. "Auror Malfoy, you were held captive for six weeks. I haven't read your statement yet, but I can't imagine it was a holiday. You could have died."
"No." Draco insisted. "It was planned out thoroughly. I trust my partner. I trust him with my life."
That was a lie. Draco trusted no one. Everyone knew that.
"It still stands," Armiston continued. "If this is the truth, you two still didn't report it beforehand."
A look of irritation flirted across Draco's face. "Look, we were in a foreign country. We had to think fast and act when the situation changed. We went in as Muggles, if we contacted the office in any way our cover would have been blown. We couldn't risk having our mail intercepted."
Armiston stared at his paperwork and then he got up. "Potter, you are one lucky son of a bitch. Are you going to change your story now or stick with what we've got?"
"Of course he's going to change his story." Draco interrupted impatiently. "He's not completely stupid, he's a Gryffindor. Gryffindors don't lie."
"Gryffindors don't usually send their partners into enemy base alone with no wand either." Leeburn said.
"Oh shut up," Draco waved a hand, getting more impatient. "That part was my idea. I figured between the two of us, it would make more sense to send me in."
"Why? Because of your extensive espionage history?" Leeburn muttered.
Draco's arm dropped to his side, a look of uncertainty laced with slight panic flashed across his eyes. Leeburn was referring to Draco's officially recorded history as a spy during the war. After Voldemort's death, the Malfoy's were sitting together in front of the judge waiting for their sentence before Harry walked in to testify. He claimed the Malfoy family had been spies all along, showing the judge snippets of memories containing their secret meetings all around Hogwarts during their sixth year. It took Harry so long to come forward because he had to cut his memories and piece different parts together, but without altering them to make it appear as if they were working together. Draco had been stunned speechless; they both knew Harry was just stalking Draco due to suspicions. Harry's testimony was the only reason Draco could become an Auror. "Why does it matter? We're both alive and well, and we've got the intel." Draco's voice was hoarse.
Harry stood up and grabbed Draco by the robes, pulling him back. "You're shaking," he whispered. "Calm down." Draco didn't even look at him.
Armiston rubbed the bridge of his nose again before heading to the door. "I need to discuss this with the Head Auror. You two are dismissed. You'll be on leave for the next week. Report back on the first of May, usual time."
"Yessir."
Armiston paused, "don't get this wrong. I might have to contact you after my discussion with the Head Auror. You could be suspended instead. Until further notice." Armiston nodded and left with Leeburn.
A minute of silence passed before Harry spoke. "Thanks, Malfoy. You didn't have to-"
"Shut the fuck up, Potter." Draco wrenched himself out of Harry's grip. "I'm still pissed. I'm going home." With three long strides, he reached the doorway.
"Thanks, Malfoy. I'm glad you're safe."
Without turning around, Draco paused before grunting in response. "Whatever gets the job done, right?"
-----
"What are you thinking of?"
Harry opened his eyes in surprised and turned his head. "How'd you know I'm awake?" Harry shifted onto his side so he was facing Draco.
Draco's grey eyes stared back, his messy hair framed his face. "Your breathing." Draco said simply before pulling himself out of bed.
"I was thinking about our first mission."
"Ah... Whatever gets the job done." Harry watched as Draco pulled on some pants before making his way to the bathroom. Harry could hear the tap running and then sounds of Draco brushing his teeth.
That's right, Harry thought. He couldn't remember when it happened. Well, it was almost all a gradual change. First it was a toothbrush, then it was a mug. Then when Harry was shopping one day, he absently added Draco's usual shampoo and conditioner to his shopping cart. Then it was a set of fresh robes for when Draco stayed the night. Then it was a book Draco liked to read. Then it was a towel. Then... Then there was a drawer set aside for when Draco forgot to take his knick knacks. In the beginning, it was only on Friday nights. Friday was celebration night. Draco and Harry would have dinner and perhaps a couple of drinks in celebration of surviving another week on the field. Harry would insist on Draco staying the night; he was too drunk to Apparate. Draco would sleep on the couch... So when did Draco migrate to his bed? Ah, that's right. They kissed the second time one Saturday morning after Draco woke up. It was unusual for Draco to sleep in so late and Harry had been watching him sleep. He pretended he wasn't watching, instead, he had been leaning against the door frame, eating ice cream out of the container. When Draco questioned Harry with his eyes, Harry just shrugged, you're sleeping on my couch. So all I can do is stand. Want some breakfast?
Halfway through breakfast, Draco dropped his toast in panic. He forgot about the brunch date with his mother. A look of horror had appeared on Draco's face. Never once had he forgotten a brunch date with his mother. He was already an hour late, his mother would most likely kill him. Still in shock, his brain scrambled to think. What should he do? What could he do? Nothing really. He'd have to buy a present (a very expensive present) and grovel to his mother. It was at that moment, Harry reached over the counter, grabbed his chin and leaned in to kiss Draco. "If you're worried about your lunch date with mum, don't worry about it. She called earlier this morning asking if you were here. I told her you're still sleeping. She didn't want to wake you."
"What the fuck?! Why did you say anything?! Why would she call here?!" Draco got off his stool, the legs scraping across the hardwood floor.
Harry just shrugged and took another bite of his toast. "She said she's going out for a couple of hours so she'd be back just after noon. If you weren't at home waiting for her, she'd come over."
"But why would she call you?!" Draco was already changing into his fresh robes. Harry would have to do laundry later. Just before Draco stepped into the fireplace, he stopped and turned to Harry. "You kissed me." He said simply, his eyes wide, as if he just realised.
"Sorry."
Draco didn't have the time to ponder. He turned and disappeared into the fireplace. He didn't want to keep his mother waiting.
After that incident, Friday night stays turned into longer stays. Draco stopped leaving straight after breakfast, then one day he slept over on Saturday night as well and then they turned into weekend sleepovers. On the weekends, they did their laundry together, went grocery shopping and sometimes they watched Muggles moving in a box - Harry called it a movie. Saturday was game day. The two of them either played Quidditch with each other, against each other or went to a match. Saturday night was party night. Either together or separately, they would go to gatherings. Usually together as they ran in the same crowds now. Sundays were quiet. Sometimes they would laze around, reading or researching or perfecting their personas for their mission. Sunday night, they would cook together. The two of them would arrive together at the office on Monday mornings and leave together on Friday afternoons. They were dating, they were in a relationship, they were lovers... And they didn't even realise it.
When was the last time Draco mentioned a potential love interest? Harry couldn't remember. One Friday Draco didn't turn up to Harry's place so Harry popped over unannounced to Draco's. He had walked into Draco fucking some young thing. Harry couldn't remember if he apologised, because he left instantly. They never spoke of that incident so perhaps if had been a dream?
So when did Draco start staying permanently? Oh. That's right. There had been a two month mission, the two of them stayed together. When they weren't at the office, they were at a hotel, discussing the best course of action. They had gotten so used to each other every minute of every day for two months, after the mission ended, they felt uncomfortable. Harry had stuffed an overnight bag and was half way out his door when he noticed Draco was already standing outside his flat with his weekend bag even though it was a Wednesday. Draco had eyed his bag and simply said, "hey. You've got plans already?"
"No," Harry murmured. "I was coming over to your place."
"What if I wasn't home? I mean, look at me, do I look like I don't have a life?" Harry merely grabbed Draco by the arm and yanked him inside. He slammed the door and pushed Draco up against it. That night, they fucked for hours.
That wasn't our first time though.
Slowly and gradually, more and more of Draco's things appeared at Harry's. One by one, pile by pile.
------
"Oi. Are you just going to stay in bed all day?" Draco's slightly irritated voice jerked Harry upright. "Breakfast." Draco jerked his thumb towards the kitchen before disappearing from the bedroom doorway.
"Draco." Harry called. Seconds later, Draco's head appeared again from the door.
"What? Your food is getting cold."
Harry ignored him. "It's been three years already, hasn't it?"
Draco looked confused. "Three years for what?"
"Since you...you know." Harry trailed off.
"Since you handed me over to be confined and tortured for six weeks? Since I covered your ass? Since I kissed you? Which one is it?" Draco gets irritated easily when he's been kept waiting.
"Since we started. Since we... Draco, I've never told you my feelings."
Draco's features softened. "Oh Potter, don't go all reminiscent on me now."
"I love you, Draco." Harry blurted out. This was the first time he said it.
Draco shifted. "I know, Harry." He finally said. "You don't have to say it. I know."
Draco didn't return words of love that day. Nor that week. Nor that month. It was as if he had forgotten. But that was okay because Harry knew. He knew Draco loved him back. He knew because Draco talks in his sleep after a particularly stressful day.
It was all fun and games, when did they get so serious?
-----
I suppose we've always been serious to begin with. Harry turned off the shower and stepped out.
When they left the office the day they were debriefed, it was drizzling. Neither had bought an umbrella, Draco was already in a foul mood and had stomped off. The rain didn't stop. It continued raining for days. By the second day, Harry had become irritated. Officially they weren't suspended, but officially they weren't on holiday either. That meant Harry had to stick on the radar, he couldn't leave the city, much less the country. In the afternoon on the second day, Harry received a call to return to the office for a meeting with the Head Auror.
"Harry, I'm getting old." He said. "I want to retire. Perhaps sometime in the next decade if I'm lucky. So don't do dumb things. You're on the list of people I want to groom to take my place. So don't fuck it up and get yourself fired before you even get the chance to be considered Head Auror."
"Thank you, sir."
"Don't thank me. Thank your partner." He slid a sealed document across the table to Harry. It had "confidential" charmed around it. "That's a copy of your partner's recount. Auror Malfoy has given permission to have that released to you. He said the password for that document is the first phrase you said to him when the two of you were assigned as partners. It's up to you if you want to read it. I suggest you do but I'm warning you, it's detailed and heartbreaking. Dismissed."
Harry didn't move. "Something wrong, Potter?" Harry continued to stare, the confidential document in is hands. The Head Auror sighed. "Do you need counselling too? Because that can be arranged if you need."
"Counselling?"
"Malfoy is getting counselling."
"He is?" Harry shifted uncomfortably. This was his fault.
"It's mandatory."
"Oh."
When neither made another move, the Head Auror broke the silence. "Is there anything else you need? Because I have mountains of paperwork to do. You two aren't the only Aurors here."
"I was wondering," Harry spoke up. "Malfoy said we got the intel. How exactly did he get it? We didn't have time to take anything."
"Ah..." The Head Auror smiled. "Your partner has a good brain." He tapped his quill to his temple. "It's true his captors spoke almost entirely in Russian. But you know those Russians like their vodka and boy, do they talk. Malfoy wrote down everything he could remember from the guards' conversations. It's taking some time, we have a translator working on it. It seems Malfoy picked up on various phrases that were highly repeated. So he remembered them."
That night, Harry had opened his only bottle of vodka - kinda fitting, don't you think? With one hand holding the bottle, his other gripped the document. Harry couldn't decide if he wanted to read it. He couldn't decide if he wanted to drink the vodka either. He sat for hours in his study before he finally hid the document in his desk drawer. He didn't have the guts to read it yet. If Draco really wanted him to know, wouldn't he tell him personally?
He returned his full bottle of vodka back to its place on the shelf before heading towards his bed. It was still pouring. He had barley tucked himself in when frantic knocking started at his door. Harry opened one eye and peaked at the glowing numbers of his Muggle clock. It was just past 2 AM He could pretend. He rolled onto his side and pulled the covers over his head. Not a minute passed and the knocking started again. Then the doorbell.
Harry groaned and dragged himself out of bed. Perhaps it was important. He grabbed his wand, swung open the door of his flat and his jaw dropped. Draco Malfoy was standing outside his door, completely soaked. His blonde hair plastered to his face, he had terrible bags under his bloodshot eyes. He was only wearing a thin, white robe and his arms wrapped around his waist. He was shaking terribly. Harry squinted at Draco's face. He couldn't tell if his partner had been crying or if it was just the rain.
"Potter, please," Draco croaked. "There's no where I can go. I didn't want to come here, but before I knew it... Please, just let me in."
Harry stepped aside. "What happened to you? Did you lose your wand or something?" Draco shook his head. "Well are you coming in or not?" Draco didn't move, it was as if he was frozen.
Harry was growing more irritated by the second. He grabbed Draco roughly by the arm and yanked him inside before slamming the door. He didn't notice Draco flinching.
"You must have gone mad." Harry muttered as he pulled Draco's shivering frame to the bathroom.
Five steps away, Draco resisted. "Could you just dry me off with your wand?" Draco's eyes darted from the bathroom door to Harry's wand.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Don't be stupid. You're cold to the bone. Don't tell me you think I'll do anything to you in the shower. That only happens in movies."
Draco shifted his weight uncomfortably and averted his eyes.
"You can't be serious." Harry said after a minute. "Okay, fine." He took out his wand and muttered a quick dry spell then pointed his wand at the bathroom. The tap turned on, and water flowing started. "Take your time, I'm going to start a fire."
When Harry returned to the corridor where he left Draco five minutes ago, Draco was no longer there. The bathroom door was still open so Harry walked towards it. "You could have closed the door you know. I'm not a complete arse, you're allowed to have your privacy." When no reply came from inside, Harry peaked around the door. The water was running but there was no one inside. Slightly pissed with Draco, he turned off the tap and went in search for him. "Come out now, you can stop hiding. I won't make you take a shower. You can freeze to death for all I care."
Harry searched his flat twice. Every room, from the kitchen, to the guest room, to the bathroom again, in his bedroom, in his lounge and even in his linen closet. Perhaps I'm the one going mad. Did Malfoy really come?
It wasn't until he looked inside his study for the third time. He would have missed Draco if not for the flash of lightening. Harry's face paled. He turned on the lights before he dropped to his knees and crawled towards his partner, who was cramped up under his desk. Draco's knees were pulled against his chest, his hands pressed to both sides of his head, covering his ears and his eyes were wide in terror.
"Malfoy?" Harry was just out from under his table. "What's wrong?" Draco didn't respond. "Okay, just come out." When Draco didn't move, Harry lunged forward, grabbed Draco by the shoulders and pulled him out from under his desk.
"NOOOO!!!" Draco shrieked which caused Harry to wince.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
"TURN IT OFF!!! TURN THE WATER OFF!!!"
Harry gripped Draco's shoulders and shouted in his face, "I already turned it off!! Calm down! I won't make you take a shower! So just calm the fuck down!"
Draco continued shouting, Harry started to panic. The only time he's seen Draco this mad was back in sixth year. Well, this could be worse. Draco was crying, his arms no longer wrapped around his waist but instead, gripped onto Harry's arms. Harry's hands gripped Draco's shoulders, "I don't know what you want! I already turned the water off!" Harry started to shake Draco by the shoulders.
Draco only cried harder.
Harry released Draco and stood up. He couldn't handle this. Just as he turned to leave, Draco lunged forward and gripped the hem of Harry's robes, almost causing Harry to trip. "Please, don't leave me. Help me!"
"I am helping you!" Harry grunted. "Let me go, you need help and I'm going to call for it."
"No!" Draco shrieked. "Just turn it off! I can still hear it!"
"I don't understand what you want! I already turned it off!" Harry shoved his hands into his pockets to prevent himself from smacking Draco in the face.
"Turn off the water! I'll be fine if you turn it off!!!"
It took a minute for Harry to get it. It was the flash of lightening across the room that caused Harry to understand. Harry pointed his wand at the windows and cast a silencing spell. Instantly, everything went quite. They could no longer hear the storm. The sound of raindrops hitting the roof or the ground, the sound of the howling wind, the sound of tree branches scratching on the windows, the sound of water gushing through the pipes into the gutters. The only sound they could hear was the heavy breathing in the room and Draco's occasional gasps for breath. Harry slid to the floor and let Draco lean against him. There were no words exchanged, it was unnecessary. When Draco calmed down, Harry hauled him to his feet and led him to the living room and directed him to the couch in front of the now blazing fireplace.
Harry made a hot cup of water and shoved it into Draco's hands. "That's all I've got. Drink that and get some sleep. As soon as you wake up, I'm taking you to the hospital."
Draco drank the water, "I don't need the hospital. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I just need a few days, I'll get over it."
"You need help, Malfoy." Harry pressed.
"I don't." Draco growled. "Like I said, I'm fine, I don't need help. I'll get over it."
Harry sighed, "okay, whatever. Sleep here tonight. I'm tied. You must be exhausted."
"Okay."
-----
Harry woke up in the morning to a strange smell. Or rather, he woke up to delicious aroma wafting in from the kitchen. For a minute, he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. There's nothing like waking up to a home cooked meal. Indeed, there's nothing like it, because it wasn't Christmas, it wasn't a special holiday and he wasn't in Ron's room. Harry bolted out of bed and ran towards the kitchen. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Draco had taken over his kitchen. There, on his kitchen bench was a plate filled entirely of bacon, three plates of eggs cooked in different manner, a plate of toasted bread, a mixing bowl was used to hold baked beans. There were three differently decorated cakes sitting on the table. At that moment, the oven made a noise, Harry jumped and Draco opened the oven. There was a roast in the oven.
Harry looked out the window. It was still raining.
"I didn't know what you liked." Draco's soft voice caught Harry's attention.
"So you made everything? Did you even sleep? You need some serious help. God, I'm surprised you can even operate a Muggle oven."
A pained look crossed Draco's features. "This is helping. I'm coping. I'll be fine by Monday. I'll be fine by tonight. The rain will stop. As for the oven... Well you wouldn't know this but all the Aurors who never took Muggle Studies or weren't brought up Muggle had a two week intensive training course for basic survival without magic."
"Where did you get all the ingredients?"
"Mum sent them over by Floo."
"Your mother knows about this?"
Draco looked away. "Help yourself. There's chocolate cake, strawberry shortcake and banana cake. Sorry, the icing might be too sweet. I'm going to cut this up. Don't worry, mum sent over containers too."
"Malfoy," Harry said sharply. Draco flinched. "Your mother, she knows you have a problem?"
Draco drew in a sharp breath. "I don't have a problem. I told her you we are stuck here due to the storm and you have nothing to eat. She went a little overboard."
"Like mother like son." Harry muttered under his breath.
Draco must have heard because he turned away. "You should see my mum now. She absolutely adores you after... She absolutely adores you now."
"I can see that." Harry replied dryly.
The rain didn't stop that night. It continued for the entire week. Harry had to keep charming his flat to keep the noise out. Draco refused to leave the flat, so Harry let him stay. They had enough food to last a week (probably a month). Draco managed to convince Harry not to speak a word of his breakdown - he would "get over it soon enough". On the first day, Harry found out Draco hadn't slept since they got back. It wasn't a big deal, he was sleeping now. On the second day, Harry found out Draco washed himself with a bucket of water and a cloth. Draco shrugged it off, claiming he got used to it. That was when Harry noticed the fading scars in his back. The ones Draco got while in Russian captivity. On the third day Draco mustered up the courage to ask. "Do you know what happened to me?"
"No." Harry looked up from his newspaper. They were sitting at the kitchen table, waiting. That's all they did all week. Waiting. Waiting for the rain to stop. Waiting for the next meal. Waiting for the day's newspaper. Just waiting.
"They didn't tell you?"
Harry shook his head. "They gave me a copy of your statement instead."
"You didn't read it?"
"No."
Draco frowned. "Why not? You're my partner, you probably should know."
"Do you want me to know?"
Draco shifted uncomfortably. "It doesn't matter I suppose."
"Yes it does." Harry said softly. "I'll read it when you're ready."
"You mean you'll read it when you're ready."
They dropped the topic. The rain stopped that night and Draco went home.
-----
Two weeks later, Harry found out Draco wasn't seeing the therapist. When he confronted Draco, Draco avoided the question. When he confronted Draco again, Draco replied, "in our first session, she wanted me to change partners. At least for a couple of months. Apparently you need to earn my trust again. She's working on the assumption we lied and that you abandoned me. So I according to her, I have trust issues and abandonment issues. And post traumatic disorder."
"Maybe she's right." Harry said. "It wouldn't hurt, right?"
Draco shoved Harry away. "You don't want me anymore? Well this isn't your choice. I choose to be your partner. You're stuck with me." He gave Harry another push for good measure then walked away.
"That's not what I meant and you know it!" Harry shouted after him.
"Fine!" Came Draco's response. That afternoon, Draco applied for a partner transfer.
Three days later, on a Saturday afternoon, Draco showed up at Harry's doorstep. When Harry opened the door, Draco simply said, "it's going to rain tonight." Harry let him in and Draco slept on the couch.
Barely a week later, Draco was reassigned back as Harry's partner. "I got a new shrink. This one is better for me."
"Why?"
"The last one kept wanting me to change. Change isn't good. It can be bad. I think it's bad. At least for me now." It was the first Celebration Friday they shared.
"So... You trust me again?"
Draco's grey eyes stared at Harry from across the room. Draco was curled up in the corner of the sofa, one hand resting on the arm of the sofa. He turned his head and sipped the wine in his glass. "It's not what you think. It's not what they think. It's not that I don't trust you because you dumped me over to the Russians. I trust you because you got me out."
Draco was scheduled for counselling three times a week. Harry goes once a week with Draco on Friday afternoons, just before work ends. At first, Harry felt unsure and awkward. Turns out, Draco doesn't talk much. In fact, he does talk at all. He just sits there, sometimes he reads a book, sometimes he naps. The therapist spends the hours doing paperwork for other patients. Draco called them crazies. One Friday afternoon, Draco fell asleep as soon as he hit the couch. Harry shifted around uncomfortably for fifteen minutes, alternating between staring at Draco's sleeping form and the therapist's working form.
He looked over to make sure Draco was asleep, when he was satisfied, he shifted his chair right up to the therapist's desk. "I thought talking was supposed to happen in therapy." He whispered.
The therapist set his things down and leaned forward. "You don't have to whisper." He whispered back.
"Why are you whispering?" Harry asked, wishing he didn't start talking.
"Because you are."
"Okay, why aren't you fixing my partner?"
The therapist shrugs, "not everyone wants fixing, Harry. Not everyone needs fixing. Not everyone fits in a box. Sometimes patients come in so they can sleep for an hour. If it helps, it helps. Therapy isn't always about talking. It's not always about therapy."
"Does he sleep here on Mondays and Wednesdays?"
"No. On Mondays Draco talks the most. Wednesdays are different."
"How?"
"That's as much as I can tell you Harry."
"He's my partner. Shouldn't I know?"
"Yes, Draco is your partner. Maybe you shouldn't be asking me."
Harry sat back in his chair.
"Have you read his statement yet, Harry?"
Startled, Harry looked up.
"Why not? Is there something you're afraid of? What is holding you back from reading Draco's statement?"
It hit Harry then. The shrink sessions on Fridays weren't for Draco. They were for Harry.