I <3 Laughing

[essenceoffire]

But I hate you. It's taken a lot for me to finally come up and say that. I can't do it to your face which means you can't talk me out of it. It was bound to happen sooner or later and the sooner I cut off the finger that's causing the infection, the better off I'll be. It won't matter though, because you won't try to fix it because you'll realize that you can't fix it. You'll realize that why try because it won't advance your career in any way/shape/form or fashion. It doesn't fit in with your life plan. Loving or caring about someone enough to call once in a while, write once in a while doesn't fit into anyone's life plan. It's the most inconvenient thing in the entire existance...but man does it feel good to feel how you feel when it happens. I'm sorry if my words hurt you...I actually hope they did because I'm still not better from the emotional trauma I was left with. I understand Allison...I understand her reasons now. It all fell into place when I spent the most amazing weekend with someone I care deeply about and someone who remembers that no matter what, a call or random comment every once in a while means a lot more than just plain ignorance.

In light of that, I'd just like to say that hugs and kisses and homo fag birthday parties are absolutely fabulous and totally wanted...and needed. Amidst the chaos that is my life, I found myself in total chaos. I found enlightenment and heart in the most unlikely people and places. It was intoxicating, mesmorizing, etc.

Thanks Aaron.