When I Drink, I Think
I’m not drunk for starters. Also, this isn’t directed at anyone. Any amount of alcohol in my system is means to kick start my thought process. In all honesty, I’ve had maybe one serious relationship in my life. From it, I learned an immense amount about how the heart works and how I work. Oddly enough, I never learned what not to do as a boyfriend. Instead, I’ve been on this “life learning” course, so to speak, for the past 6 years or so. I learned from the tears of my friends. I wiped them away, tucked the tissues in my pocket and gathered knowledge from them. I’ve been made to feel like I was the only one who would listen and at times I was. Girls. Girls were my teachers, the girls and the men that would or would not rotate in their lives, the men that left, the men that stayed, the men that never went away. From those men I learned of the worst things you could do to a girl and from these girls I learned the repercussions of their actions. I learned of the limits that some girls have to be pushed to before they decide enough is enough. I learned that sometimes enough would never be enough. Girls and their men… I should be grateful shouldn’t I?
I always have to stand by and watch. I let myself slip. Sometimes I would fall for these girls in their time of need only to watch them go back and be there when they come back… because they always came back. Then eventually they stop coming back. Not because the problems are over but rather, for the most part anyway, because they are tired of hearing me. I admit it. I gloated at times that I should have been gracious. Maybe that was enough for girls to stop coming to me with their latest problems. Maybe, not to sound conceited, they got tired of me being right. I’ve heard that it can get annoying sometimes. I think of all the things that gets me… the following hurts the most. Out of all that I’ve learned, I’ve never been able to put it to use. I can just keep learning. Am I doomed to continue learning? My patience is wearing thin, very thin. I wonder how much time has to pass before… I forget it all…
I always have to stand by and watch. I let myself slip. Sometimes I would fall for these girls in their time of need only to watch them go back and be there when they come back… because they always came back. Then eventually they stop coming back. Not because the problems are over but rather, for the most part anyway, because they are tired of hearing me. I admit it. I gloated at times that I should have been gracious. Maybe that was enough for girls to stop coming to me with their latest problems. Maybe, not to sound conceited, they got tired of me being right. I’ve heard that it can get annoying sometimes. I think of all the things that gets me… the following hurts the most. Out of all that I’ve learned, I’ve never been able to put it to use. I can just keep learning. Am I doomed to continue learning? My patience is wearing thin, very thin. I wonder how much time has to pass before… I forget it all…