STRAWBERRY GASHES!!!!!!!!!!
as I look out of the edge of life, i let my feet touch the end of the sharp rock, feeling the sweet sense of reliefe.....I close my eyes and let my body lean forward.....In a flash, all the troubles in my life is lifted out of my soul.......The time during the coffee house, I wrote a poem for my mom, called the "early bird" after the incodent the night before when she called to say good-bye before she was about to jump into the stabbing ice cold water at the fisherman pier, after i walked into the girls room, took a safety pin and let the blood drip from each scratch on my left wrist....I felt fine, almost in XTC with the sight of the 6inches of scrapes going up my arm from my wrist.....going back wards.... the time i got a phone call at school that my mom over dosed on her psych-meds...no breathing, just the sight of the white of her eyes rolling to the back of her head...let's keep going backwards.....the time i was over my cousin's house with my mom, i walked out of the bathroom, and there they are, with a glass table and a BIG bag of cocaine infront of them, she said it was ok for me to do it, cause you know, MOTHER KNOWS BEST, she said it be safe for me to do, cause i'm around family....BAM, I'm hooked for a good 6 months, along with speed and XTC......MY bulimia is getting worse, i'm down to 150 at the height 0f 5'6.....i'm looking like a skeleton, but what do i care, guys that i've slept with liked me this way...as long i provided them with alcohol and weed, everyone is "HAPPY".......with cherry-red scars and a sore throat from puking....why didn't anyone tell me that i was indanger......hmmm, there seemed to be blood coming from my mouth at this point....over excersion of excersing and doing cardio for a good 3 hours straight, i pass out in the shower and almost hit my head on the shower knob.......let's jump a year forward.....Mickey just left me with my heart stranded, i find a boy at the mall, he was sooo cute, we exchanged numbers and we talked for 3 hours straight......we liked each other, we slept with each other, then we LOVED each other..... we moved in with each other, then I moved in with my grandmother...and he moved away, we loved each other even more.........let's jump to the next year...2005...i see our love life seeping away in the sands of time, there seems to be a crack in it, is that why we are falling faster away, like a tight hand holding on, only making it worse! ? I'm hungry, i'm thirsty for him, but he seems to not to get the signals....i'm going out of my mind here! why did you leave me like this? I'm hungry for some love...gentle love.....someone to hold on close to them....it's my boy that i'm worried about.....I fall asleep with tears blinding me, my heart is aching each moment he steps out without a kiss-good bye! my eyes are now open, still teetering over the edge, letting the wind rock me back and forward, until then, i shall keep looking forward as the sharp rock calms the nerves from the feet up.