Makes no sense at all...
Seeing Placebo last night reminded me of my old band. We weren;t to great but it was so special to me and made me incredibly happy. Even the worst of times I was still just happy to be doing something I love. The band mainly failed for one glaring reason. Line up changes. We were always to quick to let people in the band. We went through about 4 singers, 3 bassist, and a couple guitarist.
We eventually found the perfect bassist in Squirrel. She was cool, hated catty bitches, farted and was just exactly what I always wanted in a band mate. She had some faults but they were fine with me. I really just wished should could sing and play bass. I've always wanted a 3 piece band where all three members did lead vocals. Nonetheless, after having people who couldn't even play bass be our "bassist" she was a refreshing change of pace.
Then after we got the music section of the band settled we looked for a lead singer. See, at this time none of us were comfortable to be a lead singer, although we all pretty much wanted to be. We had a girl named Melissa in the ban for a couple months. She was hired over the internet, so you can see how desperate we were and how bad a decision it was. She turned out to be immature, a lousy singer, terrible guitarist and quit 2 weeks before our first show. We tried to get this goth 12 year old girl to sing for us, but surprisingly she blew us of. Thankfully. We also tried a 18 year old goth girl and thankfully we blew her off.
With no singer anymore we decided to play the show with me and Courtney singing. The show gave me the confidence to be a lead singer. I definitely needed practice but the confidence was now there. At this show we looked for a new girl to be our singer. We talked to a couple of people but only one ended up auditioning.
We let her join immediatly. BAD MOVE! We didn't take the necessary time to asses her talent, personality and accessibility. She turned out to be so not our style and kind of dry personality wise. She did however make a great contribution vehicle wise. She lasted for a while. She basically got the job done.
By this time, Squirrel had gotten sick of the band, Courtney quietly did too, and I struggled to keep it together. To appease Squirrel I fired Adina. I secretly never liked her singing. She could scream yes, but added nothing melody wise to the vocal lines. Once again with no singer, I started singing a lot more. Courtney convinced me to ask my longtime pal and former bandmate, Kate to join. I knew this was a bad idea, I had played in a "band" with her before and was never happy. I love her to death but we just do not belong in a band together.
By this time Squirrel stopped attending practices, and Courtney made it nearly impossible to have one. I was really hurt. My band was falling apart and I felt my bestfriend was lying to me to get out of having to practice with a band she obviously had no interest in anymore.
Since then I have tried countless times to start another band. No success. Squirrel is always onboard for whatever venture I want to pursue musically, and I love her for that. Even if she hates the music she is there for me. I know she would probably deny it in public because it would tarnish her image though haha.
Ever since the demise of Tammy Faye Bakker I have tried viciously to get Courtney to be in a band with me again. I have come close a couple times but I think that was her telling me what I want to her so she woudlnt hurt my feelings.
Courtney, you are my Paul McCartney/Keith Richards/Nina Gordon/Twiggy Ramerez/etc. I feel empty without you musically. This entire post is to show you I realize the error of our past mistakes and that I have used them to learn how to make any future project we do work.
I think me and you could be huge if we just gave it another shot. We have cars, connections and more talent now than we did two years ago. Please give me another chance. I know you have another band that you seem very proud of, but put them on hold for 3 months and I swear I could have us "places" in that amount of time. We would just need specific practice times set in stone on a schedule. I have money to pay for shit now, you have wheels. We could make it work.
