mi vida
Time for an update. I'm bastante floja hoy, entonces... voy a escribir en ingles...me siento chafa! AHh...I can't explain my life these last couple days! I've been soo apathetic...aggitated...lazy...whinning...edgy...moody....everything is annoying! I hate it when, on my days off, I get sooo ugly! I go, go, go...and then bam...I crash...and I'm icky and take it out on my parents...then i have to apologize like a hundred times...between tears and naps....then it's off to for another work week...and i'm all happy-go-lucky...and then when i have the opportunity to pasar tiempo con mis padres...mis aciones son feas...ahh...i need self-controL! Who am I! ahhhh! My grandma isn't doing too hot...she's at the hospital now...there isn't any blood flow in her left leg...they could either amputate it or...it's gonna die...and she probably will too in a few days...I don't know how i feel about all this....I'm excited for her...is that wrong? I want to trade places with her! She looks so weak...my bro and his family are coming to Pendleton tomorrow to see her...a last minute kind of thing before she passes....this is all so hard on my dad! She was just getting all settled in, in her new room too! so yah! Sooo...yah...life! Never know! Trying to balance! Really trying to get back to the Source! One time when i was in guatemala...juli emailed me about being so drained...about burning out..overwhelmed with so many "obligations" or Christian expectations....and she reminded me about getting back to our fuel source..about spending more time with our Papi Celestial!! So...i'm working my way back...i don't know how it happened...but i have this tendency of self-soveregnity....of taking over the reigns of life....working towards surrender...and it's soo weird that as i'm dying to myself...I've been soo cranky...you'd think i'd be so much more free or sumpin! I had my first small group bible study yesterday...it was really cool! i'm pumped to see what God has for us chicas! Pretty much! I'm tired again!