Searching [Romance AU]
Fandom: Original fiction
Summary: Shodin tells Marland he likes him; Marland panics.
Rating: M
Notes: Contains swearing. Hey, it is Marland. :P Vague discussions of sex.
Weeeeee! Definitely different from Uncertain and definitely not a copy and paste job! \o/
*facepalm* Remember, self, Marland has a dairy allergy.
Genre: Romance
Word count: 1,040
Status: Work in progress
There was something weird going on with Shodin. Marland didn't know what, but the other man had just seemed different in a way that he couldn't put into words over the last week or so. He didn't know what had set it off either, but when did he ever know how Shodin thought?
As he poked at the last few remnants of his breakfast, Marland turned his head towards the sound of the toilet door opening, and then tracked Shodin from the corner of his eyes as he went to sit across the table from him.
Shodin had seemed…distracted, Marland realised, finally able to place his expression. Was he thinking about moving - Marland ruthlessly quashed that thought. Making assumptions when Shodin was involved never went well.
Shodin hummed and lightly tapped his knuckles on the table. Which normally meant he was thinking about asking Marland a question, but not entirely sure how to phrase it. Marland snorted as he finished the last of the food - may as well get one thing done before the barrage of questions started. It was only a few seconds Shodin took a deep breath and flashed Marland a small smile.
"I like you," Shodin said firmly, "and I was wondering if you would be interested in dating."
Marland half-choked on a piece of bacon, his eyes wide. Shodin…liked him? But - The full meaning of Shodin's statement penetrated Marland's brain. …Oh, fuck. How the fuck was he supposed to explain this?
"Shodin…" Marland started uncomfortably. He turned his head away, staring down at his plate. "I don't…" He took a shaky breath, but before he could collect his thoughts into something coherent, Shodin chuckled. Marland snapped his head up to see Shodin brush his hair behind his ear, not looking at him and a distant smile on his face.
"I understand." The scrape of the chair as Shodin stood up was too loud in the room. Marland watched him as Shodin headed straight for his bedroom, bewilderment seeping through him.
How could Shodin understand? He hadn't exactly…said…
Oh, fuck.
Marland scrambled out his chair and dashed for Shodin's bedroom. When he got to it though, he halted, staring at it. What the hell was he supposed to do? What the hell was he supposed to say?
It was probably best Shodin thought he wasn't interested in him. Which - well, it was technically true. But…
It didn't feel right though, lying to Shodin like that. Especially after Shodin had been honest with him.
Marland hovered there, his heart hammering in his chest, his mind a mess of half-formed thoughts. How was he - if he said - what if he - he should start with -
Ugh, fuck it. Marland shoved all those thoughts to the back of his mind, shaking his head. He'd just tell Shodin and then get the hell out of there.
After taking an uneven breath, Marland knocked on Shodin's door. It was only after he'd done that that Marland realised it wouldn't matter he wanted to tell Shodin if Shodin wouldn't talk to him about it.
There was a small pause. "The door's open."
Marland cautiously opened the door and poked his head through the crack. Shodin had drawn a chair up to the window, his gaze focused on his namesake. Shodin stayed like that for a few seconds before he leaned back, a muted smile on his lips.
"It's okay; you don't have to-"
"Shodin," Marland cut in before he could continue, walking into the room, "it's not - it's not like that." Except, it kind of was. "I'm not-" Marland hissed a sigh, running a hand through his hair.
"You're straight, I-"
"I'm not." That snapped Shodin out of his mildly polite expression. Shodin stared at him, confusion in the set of his eyebrows. Knowing it wouldn't be long before Shodin started to hide behind the understanding façade again, Marland kept going, the words almost tumbling out his mouth.
"I'm not anything, okay? I'm not straight, gay," -definitely not lesbian- "or any of the other orientations either."
The poleaxed expression on Shodin's face made Marland's stomach twist and he spun on his heel and left the room as quickly as he could. That had been a really stupid thing to do; why had he thought telling Shodin wouldn't end like it had with everyone else?
"Marland, wait-"
Right, so he could be told that there was something wrong with him, that everyone enjoyed sex-
Marland was stopped in his tracks by a firm hand on his elbow. "Can we sit down and talk about this?" Shodin asked quietly. "All this standing up and going to another room is making me dizzy."
He tilted his head back and glowered at the other man. "What is there to talk about?" he snapped. "I don't find anyone attractive, I don't want sex with anyone-"
"And who says that's the most important part of a relationship?"
"Everyone!" Marland yanked his arm free, taking heaving deep breaths as he whirled around to glare at Shodin.
"Well," Shodin said carefully, meeting his glare head-on, "I'm not everyone."
Marland snorted, turning his glare on the TV behind Shodin. He crossed his arms tightly across his chest. "So, what, you're perfectly fine with sex never happening with me?"
Shodin didn't say anything but then nodded slowly. "I can do things myself," he said gently. "Just…" Shodin trailed off and Marland glanced back at him. There wasn't any mocking expression on his face, no disbelief, only patience and a faint hope, if Marland was reading him right. "Are you okay with hugging and kissing?"
Marland frowned. "Hugging's fine, and so's kissing if there's no tongue." Kissing with tongues involved felt okay but every time it had happened, the other person had tried to drag him to bed afterwards. He grimaced at those memories.
"Then…" Shodin took a half-step forward and when Marland didn't back away, Shodin closed the gap between them, sliding his arms around Marland's waist. Marland stood there for a second, the shock of feeling someone else pressed up against him after so long keeping him frozen. When Shodin's hands didn't wander, didn't move, Marland slowly relaxed and buried his face in Shodin's hair, bringing his own arms up to circle Shodin's neck.
_______________________________________
Marland was supposed to make a 'You're gay?' comment -and then drive his foot further into his mouth when he tried to explain he wasn't interested- but he skipped that and went straight to panicking. X3
This…is just where it decided to end. XD;;;
Summary: Shodin tells Marland he likes him; Marland panics.
Rating: M
Notes: Contains swearing. Hey, it is Marland. :P Vague discussions of sex.
Weeeeee! Definitely different from Uncertain and definitely not a copy and paste job! \o/
*facepalm* Remember, self, Marland has a dairy allergy.
Genre: Romance
Word count: 1,040
Status: Work in progress
There was something weird going on with Shodin. Marland didn't know what, but the other man had just seemed different in a way that he couldn't put into words over the last week or so. He didn't know what had set it off either, but when did he ever know how Shodin thought?
As he poked at the last few remnants of his breakfast, Marland turned his head towards the sound of the toilet door opening, and then tracked Shodin from the corner of his eyes as he went to sit across the table from him.
Shodin had seemed…distracted, Marland realised, finally able to place his expression. Was he thinking about moving - Marland ruthlessly quashed that thought. Making assumptions when Shodin was involved never went well.
Shodin hummed and lightly tapped his knuckles on the table. Which normally meant he was thinking about asking Marland a question, but not entirely sure how to phrase it. Marland snorted as he finished the last of the food - may as well get one thing done before the barrage of questions started. It was only a few seconds Shodin took a deep breath and flashed Marland a small smile.
"I like you," Shodin said firmly, "and I was wondering if you would be interested in dating."
Marland half-choked on a piece of bacon, his eyes wide. Shodin…liked him? But - The full meaning of Shodin's statement penetrated Marland's brain. …Oh, fuck. How the fuck was he supposed to explain this?
"Shodin…" Marland started uncomfortably. He turned his head away, staring down at his plate. "I don't…" He took a shaky breath, but before he could collect his thoughts into something coherent, Shodin chuckled. Marland snapped his head up to see Shodin brush his hair behind his ear, not looking at him and a distant smile on his face.
"I understand." The scrape of the chair as Shodin stood up was too loud in the room. Marland watched him as Shodin headed straight for his bedroom, bewilderment seeping through him.
How could Shodin understand? He hadn't exactly…said…
Oh, fuck.
Marland scrambled out his chair and dashed for Shodin's bedroom. When he got to it though, he halted, staring at it. What the hell was he supposed to do? What the hell was he supposed to say?
It was probably best Shodin thought he wasn't interested in him. Which - well, it was technically true. But…
It didn't feel right though, lying to Shodin like that. Especially after Shodin had been honest with him.
Marland hovered there, his heart hammering in his chest, his mind a mess of half-formed thoughts. How was he - if he said - what if he - he should start with -
Ugh, fuck it. Marland shoved all those thoughts to the back of his mind, shaking his head. He'd just tell Shodin and then get the hell out of there.
After taking an uneven breath, Marland knocked on Shodin's door. It was only after he'd done that that Marland realised it wouldn't matter he wanted to tell Shodin if Shodin wouldn't talk to him about it.
There was a small pause. "The door's open."
Marland cautiously opened the door and poked his head through the crack. Shodin had drawn a chair up to the window, his gaze focused on his namesake. Shodin stayed like that for a few seconds before he leaned back, a muted smile on his lips.
"It's okay; you don't have to-"
"Shodin," Marland cut in before he could continue, walking into the room, "it's not - it's not like that." Except, it kind of was. "I'm not-" Marland hissed a sigh, running a hand through his hair.
"You're straight, I-"
"I'm not." That snapped Shodin out of his mildly polite expression. Shodin stared at him, confusion in the set of his eyebrows. Knowing it wouldn't be long before Shodin started to hide behind the understanding façade again, Marland kept going, the words almost tumbling out his mouth.
"I'm not anything, okay? I'm not straight, gay," -definitely not lesbian- "or any of the other orientations either."
The poleaxed expression on Shodin's face made Marland's stomach twist and he spun on his heel and left the room as quickly as he could. That had been a really stupid thing to do; why had he thought telling Shodin wouldn't end like it had with everyone else?
"Marland, wait-"
Right, so he could be told that there was something wrong with him, that everyone enjoyed sex-
Marland was stopped in his tracks by a firm hand on his elbow. "Can we sit down and talk about this?" Shodin asked quietly. "All this standing up and going to another room is making me dizzy."
He tilted his head back and glowered at the other man. "What is there to talk about?" he snapped. "I don't find anyone attractive, I don't want sex with anyone-"
"And who says that's the most important part of a relationship?"
"Everyone!" Marland yanked his arm free, taking heaving deep breaths as he whirled around to glare at Shodin.
"Well," Shodin said carefully, meeting his glare head-on, "I'm not everyone."
Marland snorted, turning his glare on the TV behind Shodin. He crossed his arms tightly across his chest. "So, what, you're perfectly fine with sex never happening with me?"
Shodin didn't say anything but then nodded slowly. "I can do things myself," he said gently. "Just…" Shodin trailed off and Marland glanced back at him. There wasn't any mocking expression on his face, no disbelief, only patience and a faint hope, if Marland was reading him right. "Are you okay with hugging and kissing?"
Marland frowned. "Hugging's fine, and so's kissing if there's no tongue." Kissing with tongues involved felt okay but every time it had happened, the other person had tried to drag him to bed afterwards. He grimaced at those memories.
"Then…" Shodin took a half-step forward and when Marland didn't back away, Shodin closed the gap between them, sliding his arms around Marland's waist. Marland stood there for a second, the shock of feeling someone else pressed up against him after so long keeping him frozen. When Shodin's hands didn't wander, didn't move, Marland slowly relaxed and buried his face in Shodin's hair, bringing his own arms up to circle Shodin's neck.
_______________________________________
Marland was supposed to make a 'You're gay?' comment -and then drive his foot further into his mouth when he tried to explain he wasn't interested- but he skipped that and went straight to panicking. X3
This…is just where it decided to end. XD;;;