Humanity
I have spent many years operating under the assumption that every relationship is a balancing act. Every decision and every interaction feeds the power dynamic. I have often struggled with questions such as: how can I can gain enough power to feel as though the other person will always be there for me? How can I gain enough power to be able to get what I want out of the friendship?
I’m realizing that having a win-loss perspective on friendships ameliorates my ability to feel confident in the many wonderful facets of friendship. I have always struggled with trust, feeling supported, and safe/open communication. By allowing my mind to slip into the necessity of power, as evidenced by my use of phrases such as: “hold my ground”, “prove my point”, “win the argument”, or “I got him to...” and “I got her to...”; I was perpetuating the self-defeating cycle of mistrust and misinformation.
When my primary goal is to gain power so that I can “win the argument” or “hold my ground”, I am consequently inhibiting my ability to connect to the humanity within the other. Being vulnerable is scary, and yet I am beginning to think that one really only needs to embrace the humanity within.
I believe that if I were to approach a friend with the honest truth, accepting the potential for disappointment as an acceptable outcome; no power, coercion or manipulation would be necessary. My need for power, stems from the deep desire to avoid rejection. Yet, I am realizing that rejection is a part of life. The diversity of humanity is bound to cause differences in opinions, goals, and motivations. So when these differences arise, I am attempting to transform my perception of rejection (inherently a power driven perception), into a perception of different choices. It is not that my friends are rejecting me, but rather that the have a variety of choices and have not made the same choice as me.
Side Note: 30 Minute Entry: I went over my time limit, and I am entirely dissatisfied with the poetry of this piece. Yuck.
I’m realizing that having a win-loss perspective on friendships ameliorates my ability to feel confident in the many wonderful facets of friendship. I have always struggled with trust, feeling supported, and safe/open communication. By allowing my mind to slip into the necessity of power, as evidenced by my use of phrases such as: “hold my ground”, “prove my point”, “win the argument”, or “I got him to...” and “I got her to...”; I was perpetuating the self-defeating cycle of mistrust and misinformation.
When my primary goal is to gain power so that I can “win the argument” or “hold my ground”, I am consequently inhibiting my ability to connect to the humanity within the other. Being vulnerable is scary, and yet I am beginning to think that one really only needs to embrace the humanity within.
I believe that if I were to approach a friend with the honest truth, accepting the potential for disappointment as an acceptable outcome; no power, coercion or manipulation would be necessary. My need for power, stems from the deep desire to avoid rejection. Yet, I am realizing that rejection is a part of life. The diversity of humanity is bound to cause differences in opinions, goals, and motivations. So when these differences arise, I am attempting to transform my perception of rejection (inherently a power driven perception), into a perception of different choices. It is not that my friends are rejecting me, but rather that the have a variety of choices and have not made the same choice as me.
Side Note: 30 Minute Entry: I went over my time limit, and I am entirely dissatisfied with the poetry of this piece. Yuck.