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[esolicnine]

wow depression>>>> we know its been lingering around me and im gettin kinda worse i was ok for a while but now its catching up with me again and it sucks i remind myself you cant help who you are unless you hate yourself enough to do something about it but i dont hate myself enough and i wish i hated myself more and well id do something if i hated

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[ndlss_nghtmares]

court..i know what i said earlier might have hurt your feelings.. but i really didn't mean to. i know it came out bitchy, and i didnt mean it to. how other way can you ask that question without saying it bitchy but not meaning it? i really feel bad that i hurt your feelings and i can't stop thinking about it. i'll call you sometime after your driver's ed and hopefully we can hang out this week. its so unlike us to not hang out.. cept for what.. 4 times these whole 2 and a half months!! thats crazy!!!! you know what you need? we need to go to breezy lake and.. ive been craving starbucks for the past 3 weeks.. so when chris is back, ill have him take us 2 there and that'll cure your sadness. i really miss you courtney =( my mom was saying the other day how i never hang out with you and its so unlike us.. and i always want to hang out with you.. but your always busy with your life too. my dad was asking me the other day "wheres your friend courtney?" they always ask that.. and i always say "with her boyfriend" and they go "why dont u do the same?" and it hurts.. but i get over it. there was one time i called you and i wanted to know if you wanted to hang out and you said you didnt want to hang out with anyone.. and then a few minutes later, a call came through and you were like "i gottah go, jay's coming over." i know you didn't mean to, but that really hurt my feelings. yeah, i'll admit, im jealous that my best friend's always with her boyfriend.. but i understand. =) well, i gottah go. love yah much!!