Fic Post
Hornblower Bartholomew!verse, G.
Lord Hornblower sighs with pleasure at the blessed silence currently reigning in the morning room. That day Archie had awoken and declared that he intended to attend his water colour class and that it was time that Lord Hornblower began to shoulder some of the responsibility of puppy rearing. For the past three weeks Archie had been in the house constantly catering to the needs of the fluffed up hell spawn that he had procured.
After waving Archie off, somewhat glad to see the back of him and his demands Lord Hornblower hold this and fetch that, Lord Hornblower had carried the wriggling beast to the morning room, deposited it in it’s basket, told it to be a good boy and have a nap, and settled down in his favorite chair to read the newspaper.
He is barely five lines in when he hears a thud, on looking up he sees the beast has climbed out of its basket and is tottering over to join him. Lord Hornblower ignores it until it begins to yelp indignantly at his feet.
“Oh very well” With that Lord Hornblower picks the beast up and sets it beside him. Moments after returning his attention back to the newspaper he is interrupted by a paw batting the other side. With a harrumph Lord Hornblower resigns himself to abandoning his quiet morning with the newspaper.
~
Lord Hornblower greets Mrs.Abercrombie on entering the garden. At first he thinks that she is perhaps working at the vegetable patch but on closer, squinting, inspection, he sees she is in fact offering a bowl of salad to Archie’s pet tortoise, a large, lumbering, creature that Lord Hornblower had liberated from a menagerie Pellew had accrued on a voyage many years ago. So touched by such an exotic present Archie had allowed Lord Hornblower to name it, and Lord Hornblower had, in honour of their old Captain, named the tortoise ‘Indefatigable’. Archie had promptly made a face at that and said he’d have opted for Eddie. Lord Hornblower had suggested ‘Sutherland’ as an appropriate name for the ball of hair with ears Archie currently doted on, but he had been promptly rebuked. The beast had briefly been called ‘John’, then ‘Menzies’ before Archie decided it was a ‘Bartholomew’.
Mrs. Abercrombie looks up at their approach and declares cheerily, “Look who’s awake!” before scratching Indefatigable on the head. He ignores her in favour of his salad. The beast has been snuffling along the grass in front of Lord Hornblower but comes to an abrupt hall on noticing Indefatigable. It lets out a squeak before promptly turning to hide behind Lord Hornblower’s boot.
“Ha! Worried are you, Bartholomew? Lucky for you Indefatigable is a strict vegetarian! There’s no need to be frightened of him.”
Mrs. Abercrombie holds out her hand to the beast, “It’s alright, Barty, Indy won’t hurt you, come over and say hello.”
The beast crawls over and onto Mrs. Abercrombie’s lap, he gives Indy’s salad a curious sniff, causing Indy to raise his head and fix the beast with a stare, while the beast whimpers Mrs. Abercrombie declares, “Now be nice or there’ll be no more cucumber for you!” Indy returns to his cucumber and the beast shuffles forward, seemingly more interested in Indy than his food for the moment
Lord Hornblower meanwhile sees his chance for escape, “Well Mrs. Abercrombie I see you have the situation well in hand, I shall be indoors if you require me.” Before Mrs. Abercrombie can remind him that Archie specifically left him in charge of the beast and that she has enough to be doing he turns on his heel and returns to the house.
~
Lord Hornblower is in his study restaging some of his favorite battles with his model ships and map of the world when Archie burst through the door, “Hello! Have you had a nice day?”
“Oh yes, very pleasant.” Lord Hornblower grows confused as Archie looks around expectantly, “And where is Bartholomew? Has he settled down for a nap?”
It is only then that Lord Hornblower remembers that he forgot to return to the garden to fetch the beast, “Oh. Bugger.”
~
Lord Hornblower walks briskly ahead of Archie, who is calling him the sort of names that would make the most uncouth rating blush, into the garden. He is immensely relieved to quickly see that the beast is still there, curled up at Indefatigable’s side, snoring. As Archie catches up to him he gestures to the two companions on the grass, “See! It’s perfectly fine, I knew it and Indefatigable would be the firmest of friends! After all they both are primarily occupied by sleeping and eating, so they have so much in common!”
Archie hisses, “He has a name and it is not ‘it’!”
The beast’s eyes open sleepily at that and on seeing Archie has returned it springs to it’s feet with a joyful yelp and scurried towards him. Lord Hornblower answers Archie’s glare by scooping it up and handing the beast over to Archie.
Archie immediately coos, “Hello, my treasure! Have you had a nice day? Have you made a new friend?”
The beast wags it’s tail and scrambles to lick Archie’s face, Archie scratches its ears affectionately and Lord Hornblower feels a pang of jealously as Archie hasn’t scratched anything of his since the beast arrived. Archie continues to ignore him as he addresses Indefatigable, “And I see someone has awoken from his winter slumber, good snooze, Indy?”
Indefatigable raises his head briefly at that before returning to the remains of his salad, Archie continues, “Good old reliable, Indy, unlike some.” He shoots Lord Hornblower another look before turning to return indoors with the wretched pup.
Lord Hornblower follows in disgrace, thinking on what an enviable life Indefatigable leads.
Lord Hornblower sighs with pleasure at the blessed silence currently reigning in the morning room. That day Archie had awoken and declared that he intended to attend his water colour class and that it was time that Lord Hornblower began to shoulder some of the responsibility of puppy rearing. For the past three weeks Archie had been in the house constantly catering to the needs of the fluffed up hell spawn that he had procured.
After waving Archie off, somewhat glad to see the back of him and his demands Lord Hornblower hold this and fetch that, Lord Hornblower had carried the wriggling beast to the morning room, deposited it in it’s basket, told it to be a good boy and have a nap, and settled down in his favorite chair to read the newspaper.
He is barely five lines in when he hears a thud, on looking up he sees the beast has climbed out of its basket and is tottering over to join him. Lord Hornblower ignores it until it begins to yelp indignantly at his feet.
“Oh very well” With that Lord Hornblower picks the beast up and sets it beside him. Moments after returning his attention back to the newspaper he is interrupted by a paw batting the other side. With a harrumph Lord Hornblower resigns himself to abandoning his quiet morning with the newspaper.
~
Lord Hornblower greets Mrs.Abercrombie on entering the garden. At first he thinks that she is perhaps working at the vegetable patch but on closer, squinting, inspection, he sees she is in fact offering a bowl of salad to Archie’s pet tortoise, a large, lumbering, creature that Lord Hornblower had liberated from a menagerie Pellew had accrued on a voyage many years ago. So touched by such an exotic present Archie had allowed Lord Hornblower to name it, and Lord Hornblower had, in honour of their old Captain, named the tortoise ‘Indefatigable’. Archie had promptly made a face at that and said he’d have opted for Eddie. Lord Hornblower had suggested ‘Sutherland’ as an appropriate name for the ball of hair with ears Archie currently doted on, but he had been promptly rebuked. The beast had briefly been called ‘John’, then ‘Menzies’ before Archie decided it was a ‘Bartholomew’.
Mrs. Abercrombie looks up at their approach and declares cheerily, “Look who’s awake!” before scratching Indefatigable on the head. He ignores her in favour of his salad. The beast has been snuffling along the grass in front of Lord Hornblower but comes to an abrupt hall on noticing Indefatigable. It lets out a squeak before promptly turning to hide behind Lord Hornblower’s boot.
“Ha! Worried are you, Bartholomew? Lucky for you Indefatigable is a strict vegetarian! There’s no need to be frightened of him.”
Mrs. Abercrombie holds out her hand to the beast, “It’s alright, Barty, Indy won’t hurt you, come over and say hello.”
The beast crawls over and onto Mrs. Abercrombie’s lap, he gives Indy’s salad a curious sniff, causing Indy to raise his head and fix the beast with a stare, while the beast whimpers Mrs. Abercrombie declares, “Now be nice or there’ll be no more cucumber for you!” Indy returns to his cucumber and the beast shuffles forward, seemingly more interested in Indy than his food for the moment
Lord Hornblower meanwhile sees his chance for escape, “Well Mrs. Abercrombie I see you have the situation well in hand, I shall be indoors if you require me.” Before Mrs. Abercrombie can remind him that Archie specifically left him in charge of the beast and that she has enough to be doing he turns on his heel and returns to the house.
~
Lord Hornblower is in his study restaging some of his favorite battles with his model ships and map of the world when Archie burst through the door, “Hello! Have you had a nice day?”
“Oh yes, very pleasant.” Lord Hornblower grows confused as Archie looks around expectantly, “And where is Bartholomew? Has he settled down for a nap?”
It is only then that Lord Hornblower remembers that he forgot to return to the garden to fetch the beast, “Oh. Bugger.”
~
Lord Hornblower walks briskly ahead of Archie, who is calling him the sort of names that would make the most uncouth rating blush, into the garden. He is immensely relieved to quickly see that the beast is still there, curled up at Indefatigable’s side, snoring. As Archie catches up to him he gestures to the two companions on the grass, “See! It’s perfectly fine, I knew it and Indefatigable would be the firmest of friends! After all they both are primarily occupied by sleeping and eating, so they have so much in common!”
Archie hisses, “He has a name and it is not ‘it’!”
The beast’s eyes open sleepily at that and on seeing Archie has returned it springs to it’s feet with a joyful yelp and scurried towards him. Lord Hornblower answers Archie’s glare by scooping it up and handing the beast over to Archie.
Archie immediately coos, “Hello, my treasure! Have you had a nice day? Have you made a new friend?”
The beast wags it’s tail and scrambles to lick Archie’s face, Archie scratches its ears affectionately and Lord Hornblower feels a pang of jealously as Archie hasn’t scratched anything of his since the beast arrived. Archie continues to ignore him as he addresses Indefatigable, “And I see someone has awoken from his winter slumber, good snooze, Indy?”
Indefatigable raises his head briefly at that before returning to the remains of his salad, Archie continues, “Good old reliable, Indy, unlike some.” He shoots Lord Hornblower another look before turning to return indoors with the wretched pup.
Lord Hornblower follows in disgrace, thinking on what an enviable life Indefatigable leads.