Myshuno! 2013 Prompt: “‘I HATE YOU!’”/“‘YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE ANY FUN!’” (300 words)
The prompts for this story were “‘I HATE YOU!’” and “‘YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE ANY FUN!’” both submitted by lauriempress. This story fits into Chapter 58 of Already in Progress, which is not yet released as of this posting, but the story contains no spoilers.
Rating: G
Dramatis Personae
Leila Shankel, a human.
Cat, a cat who has been enchanted to talk.
Setting
Cat is in the front yard, playing with something small and squeaky.
LEILA: What have you got there, Cat?
CAT: (covering it with his paw) Nothing.
LEILA: I know you have something. Let me see.
CAT: I would prefer to not.
LEILA: Yes, thank you, Bartelby. Let me see.
CAT: My name is not Bartelby, so I don’t have to.
LEILA (warningly): I can and will pick you up.
CAT: I HATE YOU! (lifts his paw to reveal a little field mouse) There. (catches it between his paws)
LEILA: Oh, it’s a sweet little mouse!
CAT: This kind is more gamey. (hopefully) You like mice?
LEILA: Of course I do! They’re so cute! Let it go.
CAT: Say what now?
LEILA: Let the mouse go.
(Cat reluctantly releases the mouse, and then pounces on it again. He looks up to see Leila’s frown.)
CAT: What? I let it go!
LEILA: And then you caught it again.
CAT: But I let it go first!
LEILA: Let it go permanently. (as Cat hesitates) Do I have to pick you up?
CAT: YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE ANY FUN! (releases the mouse and glares at it as it runs away)
LEILA: There, you’re a good, kind, gentle kitty really, aren’t you?
CAT: NO! I am a mighty hunter, and you better watch out!
LEILA: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. You see, I have some fish-flavored treats right here in my pocket - for a good, kind, gentle kitty.
(Cat goes very still, then:)
CAT: Did I say “I hate you”? I meant “I love you.” Because I am a good and affectionate kitty, and I would never do anything to make you unhappy. (rubs up against Leila’s ankle and purrs) I even think mice are adorable. May I have a fish-flavored treat now?
Note
In the short story “Bartelby the Scrivner” by Herman Melville, the title character answers every request for him to do something with “I would prefer to not” and inactivity. He eventually starves to death even though concerned people try to get him to eat, saying “I would prefer to not.” There are some days when I am in a very Bartelby mood myself…
Rating: G
Dramatis Personae
Leila Shankel, a human.
Cat, a cat who has been enchanted to talk.
Setting
Cat is in the front yard, playing with something small and squeaky.
LEILA: What have you got there, Cat?
CAT: (covering it with his paw) Nothing.
LEILA: I know you have something. Let me see.
CAT: I would prefer to not.
LEILA: Yes, thank you, Bartelby. Let me see.
CAT: My name is not Bartelby, so I don’t have to.
LEILA (warningly): I can and will pick you up.
CAT: I HATE YOU! (lifts his paw to reveal a little field mouse) There. (catches it between his paws)
LEILA: Oh, it’s a sweet little mouse!
CAT: This kind is more gamey. (hopefully) You like mice?
LEILA: Of course I do! They’re so cute! Let it go.
CAT: Say what now?
LEILA: Let the mouse go.
(Cat reluctantly releases the mouse, and then pounces on it again. He looks up to see Leila’s frown.)
CAT: What? I let it go!
LEILA: And then you caught it again.
CAT: But I let it go first!
LEILA: Let it go permanently. (as Cat hesitates) Do I have to pick you up?
CAT: YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE ANY FUN! (releases the mouse and glares at it as it runs away)
LEILA: There, you’re a good, kind, gentle kitty really, aren’t you?
CAT: NO! I am a mighty hunter, and you better watch out!
LEILA: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. You see, I have some fish-flavored treats right here in my pocket - for a good, kind, gentle kitty.
(Cat goes very still, then:)
CAT: Did I say “I hate you”? I meant “I love you.” Because I am a good and affectionate kitty, and I would never do anything to make you unhappy. (rubs up against Leila’s ankle and purrs) I even think mice are adorable. May I have a fish-flavored treat now?
Note
In the short story “Bartelby the Scrivner” by Herman Melville, the title character answers every request for him to do something with “I would prefer to not” and inactivity. He eventually starves to death even though concerned people try to get him to eat, saying “I would prefer to not.” There are some days when I am in a very Bartelby mood myself…