Already in Progress, Chapter 7
As with most of my cover pages, this has nothing to do with anything you’ll see in the story - it’s just a picture I happened to like and couldn’t fit in anywhere. I had two Sims on a date, and these two guys came into the restaurant together, ate together, talked a lot, had a water balloon fight, and threw each other plus signs like crazy. I can’t figure out what the relationship is: Boyfriends? Separated-at-birth twins? Old college pals? Former neighbors? Employer and employee? We shall never know.
(clears throat) Well. Pointless speculation time is over. Shall we rejoin our story? It’s Already in Progress…
Yes, that’s right, folks. Byron and Lucky have headed off to college. Their time there overlapped with Toby’s by about six hours, so here you see all three of them. Lucky’s actually not too bad looking, but Byron…
Oh, poor Byron. No wonder he prefers the Vulcan ideal, where physical attraction is illogical and therefore irrelevant.
Believe me, this is a good shot.
Now, Lucky is a Family Sim, but he has no problem making friends. But Byron…
Byron, the Popularity Sim, seems to have found the kind of people who think that throwing baseballs at other people is funny.
Fortunately, Lucky’s looking out for him.
COW MASCOT: See, that’s the thing. It just doesn’t make sense for the Doctor to do that.
JEROME WOODROW: Well, which Doctor are you talking about?
COW MASCOT: The one on TV. You know, Doctor Who?
JEROME: Which one? Because if you’re talking about Colin Baker, nothing he did ever made any sense. He was a terrible doctor.
COW MASCOT: I thought Colin Baker was supposed to be good.
JEROME: No, you’re thinking of Tom Baker. The one with the scarf. He was fantastic.
LUCKY: You guys should really talk to my brother. I think you’d get along great.
A few quick points here to keep you oriented. First, Galileo Couderc (remember him? Mircea’s father?) has become an elder. This has not diminished his relationship with Lydia.
The Fuchs family is chugging right along. We’ll check in with Aren later, but as you can see, Hunter and Peter are both working on getting those promotions. Kitty -
KITTY: Don’t show them!
Why not? I think you make a rather pretty teenager.
KITTY: No I’m not! I have zits! Promise me you won’t show them a picture!
Okay, not this chapter. But she is a teenager now. Moving on…
Jasmine has become a child. Mom’s a Professional Party Guest, and Dad is quickly climbing the Culinary ladder. Granddad spends his time taking care of the family. And occasionally tucking in his granddaughter all on his own.
This shot just made me go “Awwww…”
After graduation, Toby and Stacey moved in to their own place. Toby immediately made me question whether he should actually have received that diploma at all. Despite six cooking points, he managed to set the stove on fire not once…
…not twice…
…but three times.
And where was Stacey during all the excitement, you ask? Calling the fire department. You see, a certain someone who shall remain nameless, although she is both beautiful and intelligent, forgot to buy a smoke detector.
Yes, these really were three separate fires. Toby has been permanently banned from making anything that involves the stove in any way, shape, or form.
Now Lucky, being a Family Sim, is not simply satisfied with having lots of friends. He’s locked the want to fall in love all by himself. Because I like him, I’ve called the matchmaker to see if we can make that happen. This is Caryl Cwik.
Lucky likes her. A lot. And she likes him back, but she’s apparently rather shy. Nevertheless, she gave Lucky her phone number and told him that he could call her. This is a definite improvement!
Lucky, being a by-the-book sort of fellow will call on day three after their date. We could wait around for three days. Somehow, though, I think you’d maybe prefer to see some pictures of other people instead of sitting there and twiddling your thumbs. Didn’t I leave you with a cliffhanger last time?
Tsk tsk tsk - bad esmeiolanthe! Bad bad bad!
This is Opal, holding Chalcedony, while Jasper expresses his opinion of the contents of the just-emptied bottle. As you can see, Opal is expecting again. A few hours after this picture was taken, the whole family piled in the car and headed to the clinic for Opal’s checkup. As they pulled out of the parking lot, they were hit by a driver paying more attention to his cell phone than the red light he should have been stopping at.
Chalcedony and Jasper were terrified, but otherwise fine. Andrew walked away with seventeen stitches and whiplash. Opal was in the ICU for several weeks, and her left arm needed both surgery and pins.
Money was tight and housework difficult to keep up with before the accident. After the accident, both became bigger problems. And after little Amethyst was born, well…
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): Can you tell me what this is a picture of, Mr. Littledragon?
ANDREW (V.O.): That’s my kitchen.
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): And what are these green things? I see four of them.
ANDREW (V.O.): Those are used bottles.
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): And this, right in front of the refrigerator?
ANDREW (V.O.): That’s a dirty diaper. But -
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): And how many children do you have in diapers, Mr. Littledragon?
ANDREW (V.O.): Three. But -
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): Very good. And this picture? What is this a picture of?
ANDREW (V.O.): That’s the bathroom.
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): And on the floor?
ANDREW (V.O.): Jasper really likes to play in the toilet. We can’t always stop him.
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): And do you think that’s a good place for a child to play, Mr. Littledragon? In the toilet?
ANDREW (V.O.): No, and we stop him as soon as we catch him at it, but all kids do it. Don’t yours?
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): I don’t have children, Mr. Littledragon. Does the bathtub often look like this?
ANDREW (V.O.): Well, there are five of us and only the one tub. It does get a little -
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): Do you know this man, Mr. Littledragon?
ANDREW (V.O.): Yes. That’s Robbie. He’s the Repo Man.
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): So you’re on a first-name basis with this man. Does he come by often?
ANDREW (V.O.): We try to make sure that he doesn’t -
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): Yes or no, Mr. Littledragon: Has this man visited your house in a professional capacity on more than one occasion?
ANDREW (V.O.): …Yes.
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): Is this the front of your house, Mr. Littledragon?
ANDREW (V.O.): Yes.
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): And what have we here, just in front?
ANDREW (V.O.): That’s an old newspaper.
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): And here, by the steps?
ANDREW (V.O.): …That’s trash. Look, we don’t really have time to keep up with the yard -
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): Obviously.
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): And would you mind telling us what these are? Just here, where I’ve circled?
ANDREW (V.O.): …Those are roaches.
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): Cockroaches.
ANDREW (V.O.): But we got an exterminator in, and -
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): I’m very glad you did, Mr. Littledragon. You do know that exterminators use deadly poison, don’t you?
ANDREW (V.O.): I -
SOCIAL WORKER (V.O.): Your Honor, I respectfully request that the Littledragon children be removed from this environment. Permanently.
ANDREW: Opal, we’re going to lose the kids.
OPAL: No, we aren’t.
ANDREW: You weren’t there today. You didn’t see what that woman was like. I’ve failed you. I’ve failed all of you.
OPAL: I thought you said we got an oversight period. If we can show that we can take care of the kids, they won’t be taken away.
ANDREW: But there’s no time. There’s no money. We can’t -
OPAL: I know. That’s why I called your brothers. It’s going to be, okay, Andy. You’ll see.
LEE: It’s going to be okay, Colin. You’ll see.
COLIN: But -
LEE: Look, you know the legal system, right? You know people. You can talk to them and explain that Andy and Opal are good parents. And Jon’s kicking in for the bills, and Emmy already found a good maid service and she’s screening nannies. And if all else fails, we’ll adopt the kids.
COLIN (skeptically): We will?
LEE: Of course we will. Better than having them go to strangers. Although I’ve got to admit - much as I love those kids, I hope it doesn’t come down to that.
Me too, guys. Me too.
And it looks like Lucky and Caryl are getting along quite well. This isn’t their second date - it’s their fourth or fifth, I think. For the Sims, that’s a long time to be dating.
LUCKY: Caryl, you look so pretty in the moonlight… (reaches out to touch Caryl’s face)
CARYL (pushing his hand away): I’m sorry, Lucky. I can’t.
LUCKY: You can’t what?
CARYL: I can’t let you touch me like that. (slightly shamefaced, but resolute) I’m Strict Family Values. We don’t do that kind of thing.
LUCKY: Strict Family Values…?
CARYL: It’s part of who I am. I can’t give that up. Not even for you. I’m sorry.
CARMEN: Oh, you don’t want to be with one of those Strict Family Values freaks. You know, they won’t woohoo before marriage, and then it’s always Try for Baby, never woohoo only.
LUCKY: Well, I like kids…
CARMEN: Nobody likes kids that much. Anyway, some of them are super strict. They won’t let you touch them at all unless you’re like shaking their hand or something. I heard about this one Strict Family Values girl, she got disinherited for like holding hands with a boy. You really don’t want to be with one of them, do you? Because I’m available.
Carmen Pons, if you come anywhere near any of my boys again, I will personally boolprop a cowplant into your room and lock the door! I’m not joking! Do you hear me?
BYRON: I don’t get it.
JEROME: Get what?
BYRON: Why Lucky’s so worked up about this thing with Caryl. It’s not logical at all.
JEROME (curiously): Haven’t you ever wanted to get all, um, “up close and personal” with someone?
BYRON: No. I don’t do that mushy, touching-people stuff. Mr. Spock doesn’t.
JEROME: Yes he did. With Uhura.
BYRON: Not until Eleven. And that was an alternate universe created by the Romulans, so it doesn’t really count.
JEROME: Yes it does.
BYRON: No it doesn’t.
Moving on…
It looks like Robin is still trying for True Love. Wishing for Romance doesn’t seem to be working, or at least not fast enough, so let’s try wishing for Friends.
Huh. I guess that wasn’t as successful a strategy as I thought it would be.
Still, why waste a perfectly good opportunity for a pillow fight?
Speaking of which…
That’s part of Cassie’s recipe for a successful party. As you can see, Cassie really wanted to grow up into a red-and-black outfit that counts as both everyday and formal. She just grabbed the wrong one because she was so upset at the horribleness of Kampol Clark. (Or maybe you can’t see. She actually kind of looks topless in this picture, doesn’t she?)
CASSIE (V.O.): I resent that. I had a shirt on.
I know you did. Hey, who’s the guy in the leaves?
CASSIE (V.O.): Oh, his name’s Root.
Root Curious?
CASSIE (V.O.): Uh-huh. He owns The Green Grocer downtown. He sells the best produce. And he’s so good looking!
Yes, they grow them handsome in that family. Literally.
CASSIE (V.O.): I asked him over the other day. We get along really well.
You do know he’s only twelve, right? Four days as a toddler and eight as an adult?
CASSIE (V.O.): Yes, but he is an adult. He’s closer to elder than I am!
CASSIE (V.O.): And I think he likes me, too!
It sure looks that way, yup.
CASSIE (V.O.): So I’ve asked him out. We’re going on our first date on Saturday! I’m so excited!
Well, good luck to you, then. Have a good time. Tell me all about it afterwards?
CASSIE (V.O.): Sure!
JON: Getting up already?
EMMY: I had another one of those dreams again.
JON: Oh, Em, I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it?
EMMY (V.O.): I dreamed I was down at Benevolent Grounds and Jim was there.
JON (V.O.): Your stepfather?
EMMY (V.O.): Yeah, him. And he said that I was a Generation Nine Uglacy reject who would never be interesting or attractive or wanted by anybody ever.
JON (V.O.): Shows what he knows, then. Personally, I’d love to take you out dancing. (in a sing-song) I can get us into Tropicana Too…
EMMY (V.O.): In my schlumpy old outfit?
JON (V.O.): Nah, we’ll pick you out something from the closet at work. Don’t worry, we won’t go outside your comfort zone.
Yes, I think that was a nice compromise between fashion and comfort level.
JON: Done with your drink? Want another?
EMMY: No, I think that’s enough for one night.
JON: How about a dance, then?
EMMY: No, I have to go to the bathroom.
JON: But - But I asked the DJ to play something special…
EMMY: Jon, if I don’t go to the bathroom right now, I am going to pee all over the floor. I’ll be right back.
…If you’ll marry me, I’ve guineas not a few for you
If you’ll marry me, I’ll take you in and du for you
All this I will du if you’ll marry me
All this I will du if you’ll marry me
Eh, but I du loike you!
(“‘Tis Twelve, I Think (Techno Remix)”. Words by W. S. Gilbert; music by Sir Arthur Sullivan; vocals, electronic additions, and remixing by Tragic Alice.*)
EMMY: Jon? What are you doing?
JON: There’s only a little bit of the song left. I don’t want to waste it.
EMMY: Waste it…? Jon, are you doing what I think you’re doing?
JON: I don’t know. Do you think I’m proposing?
EMMY: Oh! Oh, Jon! Esme, are you serious?
JON: Yes. And I’m not on anything, either. Do you want me to recite “Peter Piper”?
EMMY: No. And yes.
EMMY: Yes, I will marry you! Yes! Yes… (something halfway between a sob and a laugh)
Jon and Emmy had a little courthouse ceremony, followed by going home to work on the garden. I know there are those of you out there who love weddings and will probably be disappointed that there aren’t lots of pictures of wedding dresses and cake-feeding, but Jon and Emmy are pretty low-key that way.
And speaking of weddings…
I think we might be going to have another one.
Yup, definitely another one.
CARYL: Why, I’d like to make out with you. Thanks for asking.
LUCKY: Wait…I thought you were Strict Family Values.
CARYL: Yes, but we’re engaged now. Just don’t think you’re going to get more than making out until after we’re married.
LUCKY: …I can live with that.
Considering he thought he wasn’t going to be allowed to do more than hold her hand before the wedding, this is a pretty good deal.
Finally, Aren has headed off to college. He arrived right after Byron and Lucky graduated, so there’s nobody he knows here at school.
But somehow, I don’t think he’ll have too many problems.
Carmen Pons, I’m watching you. Cowplant. Absolutely not kidding.
See you next time!
*By the way, as far as I know, there isn’t a band called Tragic Alice, and nobody has done a techno remix of any Gilbert & Sullivan song, ever. Plus this would be a hard one to techno remix even if you wanted to, which I can’t think why you would. But the lyrics are what I wanted, so there it is.