SHIT HOLE!
hmm.. again soo confused but then again i kno what i want but i have my fears...
idk i was thinking i really want to get out of here and that mayb i should go away to college.. i mean i will miss everyone but i just think its best for me... somthing is always tellin me to get out of here!... but then again if i go away im gunna have to stay at college and i have a fear of people im an only child i cant live with other people so that would be bad.. unless i dont kno... im so confused bc i wanna go away but the things that are stoping me is i cant live with people and im kinda scared to go to college... i mean iv never been on my own my parents were always doing things for me... which i wish they didnt so much yea i love it but now im scared to do anything on my own... like get a job, go to college, things like that.. i mean on top of that my biggest fear is talking to people so that doesnt help anything!.. im trying my best to work on that and get over my fear but idk i just hope i can do it before its too late.. idk im just soo stressed that im taking all my anger out on the wrong people and i realize that i do but i just cant help it iv tryed but its not working... iv just been giving my parents the biggest attitudes lately and i kno they dont deserve it but i dont kno what to do im so confused lately.. i just want to runaway from everything.. i kno thats not good but i really dont kno what to do anymore.. i think all the time of what i could do to make myself happy but nothing works.. so i fee like im stuck in a giant hole and cant get out ever... i feel like im fukin up really bad.. i mean i havent sent any college applications out bc im soo scared.. i mean i kno i dont have grades or anything for college... iv done nothing that would make me look good... and even if i do go i dont think i could get through it.. i mean i cant even get through high school.. i kno college is diff but it just feels like this big thing i cant do idk... i mean in my head i could plan out my life but i kno when i go to do it its not gunna be that easy and im scared im scared i cant do it and im scared ill just fail in life... i just wanna stop being scared and do what i want to do! i feel like its my parents fault im like this but i dont want to blame them they only tryed to help me through everything i guess i just took advantage and now im stuck =( well idk i guess i could always get a job where my dad works and stay in this shit hole!
idk i was thinking i really want to get out of here and that mayb i should go away to college.. i mean i will miss everyone but i just think its best for me... somthing is always tellin me to get out of here!... but then again if i go away im gunna have to stay at college and i have a fear of people im an only child i cant live with other people so that would be bad.. unless i dont kno... im so confused bc i wanna go away but the things that are stoping me is i cant live with people and im kinda scared to go to college... i mean iv never been on my own my parents were always doing things for me... which i wish they didnt so much yea i love it but now im scared to do anything on my own... like get a job, go to college, things like that.. i mean on top of that my biggest fear is talking to people so that doesnt help anything!.. im trying my best to work on that and get over my fear but idk i just hope i can do it before its too late.. idk im just soo stressed that im taking all my anger out on the wrong people and i realize that i do but i just cant help it iv tryed but its not working... iv just been giving my parents the biggest attitudes lately and i kno they dont deserve it but i dont kno what to do im so confused lately.. i just want to runaway from everything.. i kno thats not good but i really dont kno what to do anymore.. i think all the time of what i could do to make myself happy but nothing works.. so i fee like im stuck in a giant hole and cant get out ever... i feel like im fukin up really bad.. i mean i havent sent any college applications out bc im soo scared.. i mean i kno i dont have grades or anything for college... iv done nothing that would make me look good... and even if i do go i dont think i could get through it.. i mean i cant even get through high school.. i kno college is diff but it just feels like this big thing i cant do idk... i mean in my head i could plan out my life but i kno when i go to do it its not gunna be that easy and im scared im scared i cant do it and im scared ill just fail in life... i just wanna stop being scared and do what i want to do! i feel like its my parents fault im like this but i dont want to blame them they only tryed to help me through everything i guess i just took advantage and now im stuck =( well idk i guess i could always get a job where my dad works and stay in this shit hole!