blotted

[eskimofluff]

i want to be the one standing on the terminal as she walks away and
halfway looks back
i want to keep my feet planted on the ground, not be the one
leaving just be leftover and complacent
moving on hoping for a letter or a reminder
through radio songs or the earliest hours of the day

i'm tired of my razor seamed smile
i'd like to be the one who stays
and keeps
the places we haunted close and visible
but i'm inexplicably unexpected, cautious
of all the stories i shouldn't doubt and
infatuated with the ones
that could never
turn out alright
only end up overexposed or
in a garbage can scarred
by the cold on a summer night

i'd like to sit down for more than a month
call the makes and all the quits
and wonder what on earth she's up to
these days.
but it's not in my fervor not raging in my fever
it's words that were never written down
just wished upon an airplane
that i thought was a star
so going continue this i do
but my envy is in your favor when i go
wishing to be forgotten and not the
one forgetting