(no subject)

[eskemopie]

Its so cold in my house, and quiet. I'm shaking even though I'm wearing sweats. Its quiet, not talking to anybody, not listening to music. Its unnerving how much has changed for me in the past few days, yet everything is exactly the same. Everything feels so much less permenent, yet all the endings feel so final. I wish I hadnt stayed up most of the night crying sunday, I really wish I hadnt. But I felt compelled to, I knew that I'd miss you but not like this. I knew that I would want to run back, but not this badly. I knew that it was bound to happen, I knew you wouldnt stick around and wait while i got my head together, but I didnt know that it would be so soon. So to cope I cried and I turned to my old friend, not of the human persuasion. Its sickening that I'm physically ill over this, that I dont want to eat and I dont want to sleep. I walk through the halls more cautiously now hoping that I wont run into you, hoping even more that I wont run into you with her. This is growing up I suppose, but dont you figure that we've had enough growing up to last a life time and that its just bloody time for us to be okay?

I wish that I could have stayed your pretty princess forever, and now I'm crying again...

remorsefully yours
-j.