on not being able to sleep and craving a poptart (strawberry) at 3 am

[esinator87]

I could have accomplished so much today, and I did not, and I am ashamed. There is so much to do.

But many questions are keeping me awake. How much of what happens in my life is a product of what I want? How much is due to what other people want for me, and how much is due to what they want for themselves? How much of my fate is pure chance?

In

Comments

[doe__eyes]

esin, I am afraid that is comment has absolutely nothing to do with your entry, but I feel like I really need to ask: you live in a single room, right? what's that like? sounds like a ridiculous question, especially since I've always had my own bedroom until I started college. but it just seems like a living situation that I can't exactly comprehend; college is such a social environment, especially in the dorms, and I remember thinking that if it weren't for the fact that I had a nice and friendly roommate, I never would have made friends (so many and so quickly, that is; I'm sure I would have made friends eventually) at the beginning of first semester last year. I guess it helps that you are going to school someplace where you already knew some people. but still, I can't see myself living in a single...ever. sometimes I do find myself wishing to high heaven that I didn't live in a freshman dorm (still) and that I didn't have to deal with a roommate, but I still don't think that I would actually want to live alone. I've been thinking about it a lot, especially now that I am trying to figure out my housing situation for next year -- and for a brief period of time I seem to have been facing the prospect of living alone (and still to some extent, my future living situation is up in the air...just a bit scary, I think, not knowing where I am going to live).

[esinator87]

I really value my personal freedom, I suppose. And even though I love people, I'm one of those who are much better at loving humanity than loving my neighbor. I'm not good at living with people in intimate quarters, unless it's my sister. Also, I do have the advantage of going to college with some of my closest friends, who actually live across the street from me, so I haven't really been socially isolated without a roommate. I'm also in Plan II, and there are only 200 kids in the freshman class, so there's a fair bit of intimacy. Without Plan II, I imagine I would feel much more lost here at UT.