My Grandfather
My grandfather is a great man. As most of you know he recently had hip replacement surgery. and things just seem to go down hill from there. he's in a rehab hospital right now, where he is supposed to be recieve physical therapy so that he could hopefully walk again. But rather than being able to participate in his pt, he is stuck in bed with mulitple compact fractures in his spine, siatica (which is a pinched nerve), arthiritis, a colon infection, as well as the pain from his surgery. So now he is high on so many meds, including oxy-cotin, and not eating anything or drinking. he's also depressed. it's seems as though nothing else can go wrong with this poor man. when you go to see him, you feel as though you are looking at death. i dear that he may not be eating becuase he is just giving up. he decided yesterday that he just wants to leave the rehab hospital. but if that does happen he will be stuck in bed for the rest of his life. (and honestly i don't know how much longer he will last) he is a very strong man, and i believe that he has the power to overcome all of this, but he needs the drive in which to do so. and he no longer has it. his drive for 60 years was his wife, my grandmother. and now with her gone, i feel as though he doesn't see the point in living anymore and would just rather give up and be with her once again.
i went to visit him the other day he had be choking back tears as he told me the story of him and my grandmother. it was so sweet. filled with love, the pure love that we so seldom see anymore. he told me that they never had a cross word for one another, and it made me think of how many times in our lives we get into fights with the people that we love for absolutely no reason what so ever. i can't help but wish that i could be lucky enough to find someone that i love that much! shaxn called me this morning, and we were joking and laughing, but he made a comment that burned. and i know that it was a joke, but at the same time, he made it a reality to me that the dreams of a little girl are dead now. and while i wish i could go back and reclaim those lost dreams i know that i can't, it's impossible. *(ok well now i've gotten off track, back to gramps)
my grandfather and i have had our differences, and there was a time when i was not to loved by this man. he felt that i disgraced his dead wife by not coming to her funeral. but over time we have rebuilt our relationship, and while he might not agree with my decision 4 years ago, he understands why i made it. my grandfather and i have always been close, i used to look forward to the summers when we would be able to come east and visit them. to take trips to teh beach and the club. he would take us into the city and show us the sights. he is the one that took me to the statue of liberty. and he is always teh first one to sing my praises. (he was bragging about me in the hospital to his cardiologist!) what scares me the most is that he is giving up. that he will give in to death. and while i'll be the first one to say that i don't want him to suffer, i'm being selfish in that i don't want to lose him. it scares me so much that i might wake up one day soon and he'll be gone. i've been going through his personal belongings lately, trying to get to know this man that i love. i'm learning so much about him. and he's decided to open up to me. he fought in world war two, but after his experience in the war he never spoke to anyone about it. he never told his children, his wife or his grandchildren anything about the war. but teh other day he decided to tell me some war stories. and i was honored, i just hope that i get to know more of him before it is too late. and so on that note, i'm off to visit him. i have another entry to add, but i'll do that once i go visit my grandfather.
*hold on to those you love, you never know how long you have them for!
i went to visit him the other day he had be choking back tears as he told me the story of him and my grandmother. it was so sweet. filled with love, the pure love that we so seldom see anymore. he told me that they never had a cross word for one another, and it made me think of how many times in our lives we get into fights with the people that we love for absolutely no reason what so ever. i can't help but wish that i could be lucky enough to find someone that i love that much! shaxn called me this morning, and we were joking and laughing, but he made a comment that burned. and i know that it was a joke, but at the same time, he made it a reality to me that the dreams of a little girl are dead now. and while i wish i could go back and reclaim those lost dreams i know that i can't, it's impossible. *(ok well now i've gotten off track, back to gramps)
my grandfather and i have had our differences, and there was a time when i was not to loved by this man. he felt that i disgraced his dead wife by not coming to her funeral. but over time we have rebuilt our relationship, and while he might not agree with my decision 4 years ago, he understands why i made it. my grandfather and i have always been close, i used to look forward to the summers when we would be able to come east and visit them. to take trips to teh beach and the club. he would take us into the city and show us the sights. he is the one that took me to the statue of liberty. and he is always teh first one to sing my praises. (he was bragging about me in the hospital to his cardiologist!) what scares me the most is that he is giving up. that he will give in to death. and while i'll be the first one to say that i don't want him to suffer, i'm being selfish in that i don't want to lose him. it scares me so much that i might wake up one day soon and he'll be gone. i've been going through his personal belongings lately, trying to get to know this man that i love. i'm learning so much about him. and he's decided to open up to me. he fought in world war two, but after his experience in the war he never spoke to anyone about it. he never told his children, his wife or his grandchildren anything about the war. but teh other day he decided to tell me some war stories. and i was honored, i just hope that i get to know more of him before it is too late. and so on that note, i'm off to visit him. i have another entry to add, but i'll do that once i go visit my grandfather.
*hold on to those you love, you never know how long you have them for!