they say that i'm a dreamer
almost recovered from thhe week long christmas activities and now comes the new year. made it to most of christmas eve service left early, but was able to see the awesome candle/ muusic thing they have going on which i just simply love. christmas day i fell asleep with my neice and although i missed most of bingo my sister played for me. 30$!
as i'm not to much into new year resolutionss and the such i'll leave my 'resolution' at this: that everyone have a better year than the last,that you remember there are people that love and are loved by you and that you are unique andd make the world better by visiting it.
stole this a long time ago, but it's taken me sometime (along time) to actually get it finished and such.
(in no order)
- because I had friends that picked me up and put me back together with love.
- because i started working in a nursing home at 14.
- because i became close to the residents at the nursing home i workedd at and they felt like my own family when they passed.
- because i understand and have seen what happens in the last hours of dyinng and i'm not scared.
- because while in elementary school for two years i hid out at a friends house and had dinner with a 'normal' fammily.
- because i have loved, been loved and then lost it all.
- because one night i walked through a field and on a back road to see my mother at work and was followed in a truck by someone i didn't know.
- because i learned quickly that life wasn't fair and there wasn't a reason to bitch about it.
- because i watched my dad on the wagon fall off of the wagon and get back on many times.
- because for the longest time i thought life and my body wasn't worth much.
- because all my liife i have been afraid that one drink of alcohol would be the start down a bad road.
- because all my life there has been people that have supported me.
- because i watched my neiice strugglle for life when she wasn't even two months old.
- because at one point my no wasn't good enough to be heard.
- because i moved out of country living and became a town girl in 4th grade.
- because i have taken care of my grandmother all my life through heart attacks, toe removals and other medical problems.
- because for some reasonn i have a nasty sob nawing at my brain.
- because there were teachers in my life that i could trust, talk to, and helped me.
- because my car got stolen and wrecked in high school and i really understood the meaning of friends when they saved my from going over the edge.
- because i have yet to finish college with a degree but not for lack of trying.
- because i have met people whether it be in person or over the net that have been on this very road that i am on now and have shown me more strength than what i humannly possible and extrodinary.
- because i miss all those people, but yet i know they are safe and healthy now.
- because my mother is stronger thann i could ever imagine to be. she allways worked two jobs and still made time for us.
- because my senior year in high school cancer entered our family life andd has yet to leave. i travelled and went with mom down her cancer road that she has yet to come back from and she has helped me travel mine.
- because my brain has been opened up and played with, fried a couple of times, and been given drugs that probably could kill a horse.
- because at IU i made the marching hundred and loved every minute of it and met the love of my life.
- because i've had buttercup, daisy, steph, g, h, d and many others that have been there to show me there's a way.
- because i chose to play tuba, baritone horn, and bari sax in high school instead of the bassoon that i really wanted to play.
- because i can still express, i can still think, feel, and forget. i can sleep (and sleep) yet i can still do.
- because i've had wonderful nurses and doctors that know what the heck they are doing.
- because i've communiicated with all of you either from here, email or lettres and such and you have given me perspective, hope, and a laugh along the way.
- because i'm 23 and it might be that way forever or in one month and 18 days i may makke it to 24, either way it's okay.