(no subject)
it's about the moments when you go a little crazy on the inside, you know. some people call it love and emotion and spark when you can't explain it -- when it's just this thing that shouldn't get you and wouldn't get you, but it gets you. and you can recognize those moments in other people's faces -- when you know you've got them. and if you like them and you know you got them, something inside you goes a little crazy too. maybe cuz you feel like it's then more possibly for you to go a little crazy and be get, cuz it's safer or cuz it feels like possibility and future and infinity.
a little idealized. i like the quote i posted last time.
sometimes i feel like i'm so incredibly capable of making people intrigued from afar and then just getting them sick of me. and you're just powerless then cuz when you're sick of someone, you are just sick of someone -- there are no special moments, special laughs you capture in your head and idealize; you just get sick of everything. ..and then if i push them away early enough they start thinking twice and looking from afar again and realize -- wait. no wait. that's her. ...and sometimes i just think -- couldn't they have just reminded themselves of it? made a more conscious effort to remember and recreate? the first moments and why you did it -- the facts, the details -- and then compare it to now? people just remember the emotion of what they felt at the beginning -- "i went crazy" -- and when they don't go crazy anymore they start to doubt themselves, when imo half the time the facts, the details, the same things that made you crazy were still there. they just became more attainable, more habitual; you got used to it. or maybe it changed a little .. but surely not all of it. boys are dumb.
me, i run through moments and things again and again. i idealize moments. not the best thing to do either, but it makes me treasure things you know. unless the moment wasn't that great anyway and i don't think of it as magic in life. then sorry tmd goodbye ha-ha-ha. but girls are dumb too so.. i'll stop here.
not that all of this is happening right now though -- my mind is just going a little crazy at 3.30am after a night of ... complete nothing and complete havoc at the same time. wandering off into the past. wandering into the future, wandering into possibilities, wandering into impossibilities.
when i wake up i'll be normal again and i'll live in the here & now. a girl needs her crazy thoughts once in a while, and i shall be forgiven for having posted them here for once. i figure nothing could hurt more if you're already laying it all out there.
a little idealized. i like the quote i posted last time.
sometimes i feel like i'm so incredibly capable of making people intrigued from afar and then just getting them sick of me. and you're just powerless then cuz when you're sick of someone, you are just sick of someone -- there are no special moments, special laughs you capture in your head and idealize; you just get sick of everything. ..and then if i push them away early enough they start thinking twice and looking from afar again and realize -- wait. no wait. that's her. ...and sometimes i just think -- couldn't they have just reminded themselves of it? made a more conscious effort to remember and recreate? the first moments and why you did it -- the facts, the details -- and then compare it to now? people just remember the emotion of what they felt at the beginning -- "i went crazy" -- and when they don't go crazy anymore they start to doubt themselves, when imo half the time the facts, the details, the same things that made you crazy were still there. they just became more attainable, more habitual; you got used to it. or maybe it changed a little .. but surely not all of it. boys are dumb.
me, i run through moments and things again and again. i idealize moments. not the best thing to do either, but it makes me treasure things you know. unless the moment wasn't that great anyway and i don't think of it as magic in life. then sorry tmd goodbye ha-ha-ha. but girls are dumb too so.. i'll stop here.
not that all of this is happening right now though -- my mind is just going a little crazy at 3.30am after a night of ... complete nothing and complete havoc at the same time. wandering off into the past. wandering into the future, wandering into possibilities, wandering into impossibilities.
when i wake up i'll be normal again and i'll live in the here & now. a girl needs her crazy thoughts once in a while, and i shall be forgiven for having posted them here for once. i figure nothing could hurt more if you're already laying it all out there.