bullshit
Melissa
You refuse to answer the phone and that is getting very old. I understand that you are angry at me, at everything and everyone. I also understand that you want to be with Ashley and that you are very unhappy and I have tried to talk to you about it but you would not speak. I am terrible afraid that you are giving up your dream and if you don't go in December you won't go in august or maybe ever and I am afraid for you if you give this all up and you and Ashley don't work out (even though it is my greatest hope that it does and you spend the rest of your life with your love)
I am also hurt, shocked and angry that you, my loving compassionate child and my closest friend, would ever think it is ok to just throw me to the wolves.And after telling me that you needed the money for your needs, to decide that it should also be ok with me for you give up a weeks pay to go to Florida. That you can make that decision shows me that I am even more insignificant, unwanted and unworthy of decent treatment in your eyes.
You expect an apology from me for not supporting your decision to mistreat me. For getting angry at you.The only apology I can give is that I am so sorry that I failed you as a mother that I exposed you to behavior that could be misconstrued by you as acceptable. Treating me or anyone that way is not acceptable.
You are angry that I said you should take your belongings with you if you leave but I never told you to move. That is the last thing that I would tell you to do and I don't understand why you think that I did. You told me how much you hated living with m and that you would kill yourself if you had to stay. Then move, clean up your mess before you go and take your stuff with you was the only response I could come up with. I felt as if I had been beaten and spoke what I was thinking. I was deeply wounded and I acted to protect myself. Maybe saying nothing would have better but I said nothing for so long and was wounded over and over again. Saying nothing is too hard.
I am also sorry that all the pain and anger you feel is directed at me. I have never done anything but love you and try to take care of you. I have worked to provide as much as possible for you and I am sorry that I couldn't provide more. It hurt me that I could not send you to school, that you had to work so hard and I know that it hurt you. I made mistakes in my life and you and Jessica have suffered for them. I can never change that and it will always haunt me.
I have been crying for days because I feel that the Melissa I knew and loved is gone. I truly hope that you make careful choices, choices that will not harm you or haunt you. That you don't act rashly. Moving without a job, moving in with strangers and going without insurance are all very danger laden choices.
I will always be your mother and I will always love you
all I have to say is BULLSHIT!!! mellow dramatic bullshit!!!!!!! BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAHHH GOTTA LOVE MY LIFE.
You refuse to answer the phone and that is getting very old. I understand that you are angry at me, at everything and everyone. I also understand that you want to be with Ashley and that you are very unhappy and I have tried to talk to you about it but you would not speak. I am terrible afraid that you are giving up your dream and if you don't go in December you won't go in august or maybe ever and I am afraid for you if you give this all up and you and Ashley don't work out (even though it is my greatest hope that it does and you spend the rest of your life with your love)
I am also hurt, shocked and angry that you, my loving compassionate child and my closest friend, would ever think it is ok to just throw me to the wolves.And after telling me that you needed the money for your needs, to decide that it should also be ok with me for you give up a weeks pay to go to Florida. That you can make that decision shows me that I am even more insignificant, unwanted and unworthy of decent treatment in your eyes.
You expect an apology from me for not supporting your decision to mistreat me. For getting angry at you.The only apology I can give is that I am so sorry that I failed you as a mother that I exposed you to behavior that could be misconstrued by you as acceptable. Treating me or anyone that way is not acceptable.
You are angry that I said you should take your belongings with you if you leave but I never told you to move. That is the last thing that I would tell you to do and I don't understand why you think that I did. You told me how much you hated living with m and that you would kill yourself if you had to stay. Then move, clean up your mess before you go and take your stuff with you was the only response I could come up with. I felt as if I had been beaten and spoke what I was thinking. I was deeply wounded and I acted to protect myself. Maybe saying nothing would have better but I said nothing for so long and was wounded over and over again. Saying nothing is too hard.
I am also sorry that all the pain and anger you feel is directed at me. I have never done anything but love you and try to take care of you. I have worked to provide as much as possible for you and I am sorry that I couldn't provide more. It hurt me that I could not send you to school, that you had to work so hard and I know that it hurt you. I made mistakes in my life and you and Jessica have suffered for them. I can never change that and it will always haunt me.
I have been crying for days because I feel that the Melissa I knew and loved is gone. I truly hope that you make careful choices, choices that will not harm you or haunt you. That you don't act rashly. Moving without a job, moving in with strangers and going without insurance are all very danger laden choices.
I will always be your mother and I will always love you
all I have to say is BULLSHIT!!! mellow dramatic bullshit!!!!!!! BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAHHH GOTTA LOVE MY LIFE.