PSA: I will back you up
Because I don't think this can be said enough:
Silence is not consent.(1)
Assuming that everyone has the ability to speak up, to say no, to remove themselves from a situation is an assumption of privilege.
People do not always feel safe calling the police or that it will help(2) or feel safe publicly talking about what happened.
Silence is not consent.
I don't know what happened in that hotel room for sure. I wasn't there to see it and even if I had been, people interpret situations in different ways. This isn't about that. What this is about is the fact that fandom is not a safe place because the world is not a safe place.
I have said this before and I will say it again: I will back you up(3).
From vito_exacliber's post that started the Back Up project (and guy = anyone, not just men in this statement):
Here's my pledge: if I see somebody groping you in public, and you're not moaning Yes! Yes! Yes!, I will break through your Somebody Else's Problem invisibility field and come over and ask if you're okay. If your situation looks dangerous enough I can't help on my own, I will call over friends or, if it's a situation in which I think the cops would be on your side, I will call the cops. If you're being harassed by a guy, you can say so to me, even if you don't know me. I pledge I will distract him so you can get away, or I will tell him that he needs to leave, or whatever I can do to the best of my ability. I pledge that yes, actually, because you are a woman I will give you the benefit of the doubt. If you tell me that a guy just did something shitty to you I will not refuse to look at any evidence and tell you that I know him and he's a great guy and you must have been imagining things. I have great loyalty to my male friends but I will not allow that to blind me to the fact that none of us are saints and even my best friends can screw up and may need to be called on it. I pledge that I will walk you to your car if you don't feel safe walking alone at night, and then you can drive me to mine.
So yes, women. I will back you up.
And finally, once again, SILENCE IS NOT FUCKING CONSENT.
(1) This was inspired by a comment here which came from the current discussion about Wincon, but it goes farther than one incident or one fandom.
(2) One post about why people don't feel they can call the police.
(3) Back Up: The Open Source Women Back Each Other Up Project
Silence is not consent.(1)
Assuming that everyone has the ability to speak up, to say no, to remove themselves from a situation is an assumption of privilege.
People do not always feel safe calling the police or that it will help(2) or feel safe publicly talking about what happened.
Silence is not consent.
I don't know what happened in that hotel room for sure. I wasn't there to see it and even if I had been, people interpret situations in different ways. This isn't about that. What this is about is the fact that fandom is not a safe place because the world is not a safe place.
I have said this before and I will say it again: I will back you up(3).
From vito_exacliber's post that started the Back Up project (and guy = anyone, not just men in this statement):
Here's my pledge: if I see somebody groping you in public, and you're not moaning Yes! Yes! Yes!, I will break through your Somebody Else's Problem invisibility field and come over and ask if you're okay. If your situation looks dangerous enough I can't help on my own, I will call over friends or, if it's a situation in which I think the cops would be on your side, I will call the cops. If you're being harassed by a guy, you can say so to me, even if you don't know me. I pledge I will distract him so you can get away, or I will tell him that he needs to leave, or whatever I can do to the best of my ability. I pledge that yes, actually, because you are a woman I will give you the benefit of the doubt. If you tell me that a guy just did something shitty to you I will not refuse to look at any evidence and tell you that I know him and he's a great guy and you must have been imagining things. I have great loyalty to my male friends but I will not allow that to blind me to the fact that none of us are saints and even my best friends can screw up and may need to be called on it. I pledge that I will walk you to your car if you don't feel safe walking alone at night, and then you can drive me to mine.
So yes, women. I will back you up.
And finally, once again, SILENCE IS NOT FUCKING CONSENT.
(1) This was inspired by a comment here which came from the current discussion about Wincon, but it goes farther than one incident or one fandom.
(2) One post about why people don't feel they can call the police.
(3) Back Up: The Open Source Women Back Each Other Up Project