(no subject)

[eschermobius]

I'm depressed. again. my family drives me up the wall. i'm stressed out by my upcoming thesis paper to graduate this spring, and even more so by the deadline for vet school applications october 3rd. i'll never finish in time! i have no idea what i'm going to do next year, where we will go. i really hope i get into a canadian vet school, that woudl make my life so much easier. i guess we'll see. if i don't get into vet school, we're going back out west to vancouver. i'll try to get my canadian citizenship, volunteer in vet clinics to get more experience, maybe take some community college classes just to stay sane, and apply again in a year. as a canadian, with better chances. If i get into a US vet school, that will rock too, cuz i got in, but not as much sicne i have no idea what seb could do for work. *freaks out* I need to have the ugly family wedding ceremony thingie this coming summer while we're still on the east coast where everyone else lives. eep. and it's my gramma's 50th anniversary, or soemthing. my life is so crazy. i don't even want to think about holiday plans. nor my animals...I think i have to rehome megabyte, which was the original plan anyway. I love her to death, and i would keep her in a heartbeat, but it's not fair to her that i have no time to play with her enough. *is sad* she is so freakin cute, and sweet. I love that dog, but i love her enough to do the best thing for HEr, not just what i want for me...aargh. But if she does get rehomed, as per the original plan, i want it to be a GOOD home. a very good home. i'm gonna be hella picky, which worries me, cuz it'll be hard enough just because she's a pitbull. :( oh yeah, and my mom and brother don't want to let me take buddy with me when i leave. nevermind that i have been feeding him and taking sole care of him for the last 2 years. they barely know he's alive. they used to feed him badly (forget or overfeed on bad food), he was untrained, and he now needs meds. they let him out every 12 hours, if they didn't forget. the poor guy. i'm going to arrange his "disappearance" if need be. i pay for him, i take care of him, he's mine, you asstards. all you ever did was abuse him with your love. *grrrr* plus, i'll have my two ferrets (liz will have all of hers back by then)...i dunno what to do about my mom's fish, that she never feeds or turns on the light for or cleans. i already rehomed her rabbit that she neglected. i could just kill her...she loves animals, but she's terrible with them. oh yeah, and there's a stray kitty that i'm trying to find out if he has owners or whatever. so he will need a home too. I HATE people who have outdoor cats. way to take a domestic animal and expose it to all kinds of dangers and illnesses. wildlife is wildlife, and pets are pets. you take in an animal, you are the pack leader, and you must keep it safe and healthy and happy. outside cats come to all kinds of sad and nasty ends...i've worked in enough vet clinics to see it every day.

so yeah, i'm depressed, and thus i am going to do something to my ahir, as usual. right now i'm growing it out extra long (it's at my shoulderblades right now, but i want it past my waist) and thus cutting it is sadly out fo the question. thus, i shall dye it. but since i might have to do vet interviews, it will have to be a "normal" color-so i chose a wine-brown that i know looks decent on me. oh well, the change is therapeutic. :)

i wonder about that soemtimes, though. I think i might be addicted to change. I find it easier to move every caouple years than to stay in the same place. even if it's just moving within a city. i wonder if i'll ever settle down. If i do, i'll HAVE to travel to stay sane. I go stir crazy living in the same place too long. the world is too big for that. too much to see, too much to do. maybe if i don't get into vet school, seb and i shoudl jsut backpack acroos the world for a couple years. that woudl be the ultimate adventure...earn our way across the world, improvise, see all kinds of stuff, etc etc etc. *dreams*