thoughts
Being here is a bit of a mindfuck.
I went back into my archives to try to find a specific post because I am nearly 99% sure that I at some point talked about when L said she was going to commit suicide. I know I said something to incite it and I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT. And I was talking about it with my sister and she said that L had said it was because she needed a break and the insurance would only cover a week and THAT IS A LIE. So I was looking for evidence and got sucked into the hell that was 2006.
I feel like I should just hand this entire LJ over to my therapist an say, "Here is 10+ years of my life heavily documented" because holy shit was I a fucking mess.
And it feels sort of fitting to talk about how much of a mess I was on here because here is where it all is. The emotional blood spatter of L's abuse and neglect and just everything.
It feels like a decade since I was last here, but it's only been like a year...maybe a year and a half? I don't know who any of you are anymore. Though these days I don't really know who I am either.
This is all very strange.
I went back into my archives to try to find a specific post because I am nearly 99% sure that I at some point talked about when L said she was going to commit suicide. I know I said something to incite it and I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT. And I was talking about it with my sister and she said that L had said it was because she needed a break and the insurance would only cover a week and THAT IS A LIE. So I was looking for evidence and got sucked into the hell that was 2006.
I feel like I should just hand this entire LJ over to my therapist an say, "Here is 10+ years of my life heavily documented" because holy shit was I a fucking mess.
And it feels sort of fitting to talk about how much of a mess I was on here because here is where it all is. The emotional blood spatter of L's abuse and neglect and just everything.
It feels like a decade since I was last here, but it's only been like a year...maybe a year and a half? I don't know who any of you are anymore. Though these days I don't really know who I am either.
This is all very strange.