the saga continues...
E-mailed my Psych prof yesterday about the depression and submitted the assignment that was due. Just now got up the courage to check the e-mail again for fear of a, "We need to talk" response regarding everything. But lo, he sent a very nice e-mail back saying, "Hang in there and thanks for getting the assignment to me." Turns out they didn't even get to the article, they were processing the presentation from Friday that I missed. I wish I'd been there Friday and Monday. So I'm going to try and write a draft of my paper for English tonight so I can get to class tomorrow and not feel like a gigantic heel.
I'm very tired, though. This whole working 9 hour shifts thing kinda sucks. But there's some food in the fridge and I have a cat to my left though I should probably move this operation into the livingroom -- I write better papers in there. Probably because there's more room.
It's very tempting to just lay down for a few hours. Maybe just sleep until midnight and then work on the paper.
...that's actually not a bad idea. I'm pretty beat. Then maybe I'll feel better when I wake up and not so jittery and like I'm going to start crying. I'm not sure where that feeling is coming from. I think just a general feeling of failure re: school this semester.
Sometimes it's hard to remember that this is an illness and I'm going to have really shitty days. It's hard not to get caught up in the "I suck" mentality.
So I think I'll put on Kitchen Nightmares and just doze off for a little while. If I wake up groggy, I can always go down to the 24-Hour CVS and get some coffee.
Now, if I can just shift the computer back to the side table without disturbing Binky (who is nestled by my side)...
...I cannot figure out why I feel so anxious right now
Edit @ 11:22 pm: I've been lying in bed trying to sleep for the last 2 hours and my heart is beating like I've been running up and down the stairs. I'm typing and I can feel it pulsing in my neck. It's kind of scary to be honest.
On top of that, there is this inability to get up. I'm sitting here and I know I need to get up and work on my paper if I'm not going to sleep. There is stuff I need to do. And that's when my heart starts beating even faster and I wonder if I should put my head between my knees or something. WTF body?
I feel like I'm going to start hyperventilating and the cold feeling is curling up from my back and around my shoulders to my chest. ARGH.
This is really miserable.
I'm very tired, though. This whole working 9 hour shifts thing kinda sucks. But there's some food in the fridge and I have a cat to my left though I should probably move this operation into the livingroom -- I write better papers in there. Probably because there's more room.
It's very tempting to just lay down for a few hours. Maybe just sleep until midnight and then work on the paper.
...that's actually not a bad idea. I'm pretty beat. Then maybe I'll feel better when I wake up and not so jittery and like I'm going to start crying. I'm not sure where that feeling is coming from. I think just a general feeling of failure re: school this semester.
Sometimes it's hard to remember that this is an illness and I'm going to have really shitty days. It's hard not to get caught up in the "I suck" mentality.
So I think I'll put on Kitchen Nightmares and just doze off for a little while. If I wake up groggy, I can always go down to the 24-Hour CVS and get some coffee.
Now, if I can just shift the computer back to the side table without disturbing Binky (who is nestled by my side)...
...I cannot figure out why I feel so anxious right now
Edit @ 11:22 pm: I've been lying in bed trying to sleep for the last 2 hours and my heart is beating like I've been running up and down the stairs. I'm typing and I can feel it pulsing in my neck. It's kind of scary to be honest.
On top of that, there is this inability to get up. I'm sitting here and I know I need to get up and work on my paper if I'm not going to sleep. There is stuff I need to do. And that's when my heart starts beating even faster and I wonder if I should put my head between my knees or something. WTF body?
I feel like I'm going to start hyperventilating and the cold feeling is curling up from my back and around my shoulders to my chest. ARGH.
This is really miserable.