where the halo lands
I am feeling almost better today. This is significant because I've, almost literally, spent the last week in bed. This means I haven't been to class since last Thursday. Yeah. Not my finest hour AT ALL. But I will make it to class tomorrow because it's a lab and I will make it to class on Friday and the rest of this semester because GOD DAMNIT I WILL GET THROUGH THIS. Because at the end of this semester?
I am quitting my job.
You heard right. I've been talking about it sort of half-assed for the last two years, but it is time. Mostly because the shop is going under FAST. Our average customer count these days is between 5 and 8. Which means we're making about $40 a day. Yeeah. So, at the end of this semester (if not sooner) I will be quitting my job and going to Kelly Services to become a Temp.
Depending on finances and how much financial aid I have left, I will be taking 3 summer classes and then three classes this fall and then graduating. The tentative plan is to move to NYC either before or after Christmas depending on how quickly an apartment and a job can be found. There is also the idea floating around of applying to schools in NYC now and seeing about transferring. It is all very scary and exhilarating. But I have no ties here and I like NYC and I want to be closer to my sister. I want to be able to get on the N or the 7 train and ride 20 minutes to see her instead of the 6 hours it is now. There are good schools in NYC, too, and I need to get my shit together by September because in September Thing 2 enters pre-pre-k (I KNOW, RIGHT?) and the current finances the sister is supplying me with will (COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLY) be relegated to Thing 2's education.
It feels like things are (tentatively) slotting into place which is sort of nice and I need a change of scenery. I will, of course, be devastated to leave my lovely, little apartment of 1 and what will probably happen is I will get to NYC and live with the sister and brother-in-law for about a month while I save up money and find a place to live and establish some temp jobs. They have already offered to pay moving expenses and boarding of the cats if need be (and if I'm living with them, I will have to because the cats and small children DO NOT MIX -- and we all know that me giving up the cats is NOT AN OPTION).
I'm feeling brave about this. A week ago, hell just yesterday, I will still feeling scared and freaked out of my mind, but now I feel sort of serene about it. I am not quite at the stage where I'm ready for my sister to start using her network in NYC on my behalf but I think if this feeling remains in another week or so I will let her run rampant.
I am giving up the hope that I will get into Bryn Mawr and one-up my mother. She is an insignificance that I need to let go. Because I'm sick of being angry and I'm sick of being depressed about her and about how I should feel. I want her to disappear in a cloud of white smoke and if that means no longer opening my grandmother's letters than so be it. Because I'm sick of spending a week in bed and jeopardizing my academic career. They will not win. The chemicals will not win. I will be brave and I will be glorious.
Because I'm supergirl, God dammit.
I am quitting my job.
You heard right. I've been talking about it sort of half-assed for the last two years, but it is time. Mostly because the shop is going under FAST. Our average customer count these days is between 5 and 8. Which means we're making about $40 a day. Yeeah. So, at the end of this semester (if not sooner) I will be quitting my job and going to Kelly Services to become a Temp.
Depending on finances and how much financial aid I have left, I will be taking 3 summer classes and then three classes this fall and then graduating. The tentative plan is to move to NYC either before or after Christmas depending on how quickly an apartment and a job can be found. There is also the idea floating around of applying to schools in NYC now and seeing about transferring. It is all very scary and exhilarating. But I have no ties here and I like NYC and I want to be closer to my sister. I want to be able to get on the N or the 7 train and ride 20 minutes to see her instead of the 6 hours it is now. There are good schools in NYC, too, and I need to get my shit together by September because in September Thing 2 enters pre-pre-k (I KNOW, RIGHT?) and the current finances the sister is supplying me with will (COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLY) be relegated to Thing 2's education.
It feels like things are (tentatively) slotting into place which is sort of nice and I need a change of scenery. I will, of course, be devastated to leave my lovely, little apartment of 1 and what will probably happen is I will get to NYC and live with the sister and brother-in-law for about a month while I save up money and find a place to live and establish some temp jobs. They have already offered to pay moving expenses and boarding of the cats if need be (and if I'm living with them, I will have to because the cats and small children DO NOT MIX -- and we all know that me giving up the cats is NOT AN OPTION).
I'm feeling brave about this. A week ago, hell just yesterday, I will still feeling scared and freaked out of my mind, but now I feel sort of serene about it. I am not quite at the stage where I'm ready for my sister to start using her network in NYC on my behalf but I think if this feeling remains in another week or so I will let her run rampant.
I am giving up the hope that I will get into Bryn Mawr and one-up my mother. She is an insignificance that I need to let go. Because I'm sick of being angry and I'm sick of being depressed about her and about how I should feel. I want her to disappear in a cloud of white smoke and if that means no longer opening my grandmother's letters than so be it. Because I'm sick of spending a week in bed and jeopardizing my academic career. They will not win. The chemicals will not win. I will be brave and I will be glorious.
Because I'm supergirl, God dammit.