all you got to do is believe in love...just believe in us.

[escaping_time]

gahd! I dont even know anymore. Im so scared..worried. i don't know whats going to happen to him. last night i had a dream that his name was in the papers...in the obituaries. dreams like that always come true for me. i dont know what to do...what to think. I love him so much, and if i lose him..i'll have lost everything. then sometimes i wonder, what i did to deserve someone so special as him. Hes so perfect, and sometimes i just think that im not good enough for him. he deserves someone who can actually be there for him, be able to wipe his tears away, hold him. just be there with him. and im so far from that. all I have is a heart full of love..and sometimes i dont think thats enough..

ashton- i love you so much. you mean everything to me and i can't imagine my life without youu.