Homecoming - Book Two: Twenty-one Guns - The First Time That I Felt Connected To Anything
Title: Homecoming - Book 2 - Twenty-one Guns
Author: escapes
Artist: solostrightnow
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't own them, just the order the words are strung together in.
Characters/Pairings: luke/noah
Word Count: book 2: 26k plus Total: 60k
Warnings:You are going to have to trust me. Be warned that there is angst. Lots of it. i can't give you more without completely ruinding the story.
Spoilers: None
Summary:Sometimes the hardest battle in the war is finding your way back home.
Author’s Notes: Thanks for all your patience as I finished. In the course of writing this, I started a new job in a city an hour and a half away from where I live and I've been doing the worlds slowest move on record on my days off. And there was a trip and other stuff in there, so just...thanks for not yelling at me to get it done. Well, much anyway. =)
Special thanks to noelleleithefor the betas. I appreciate so much you managed it in the midst of everything else you have going on.
Link to Story Master Post: Book One
Link to Art Master Post: Click here for the awesome
As the driver of the car receives clearance into Fort Leonard Wood, Noah nods as they pass through the gate, but still maintains the silence that has fallen over him for much of this trip.
The reception after the funeral had been emotional and not all of that had been about Tony. He had been right about people holding back on talking to him because of the soldiers that were present. As soon as they had taken their leave, Noah was inundated with almost every person he'd ever had interaction with in Oakdale.
It had been humbling and overwhelming to see the reverberations in the community that the false news of his death had caused. He had been loved and he had been missed in Oakdale, and if the news had been true, this community would have claimed him and mourned him as one of their own. They would have kept his existence and his relationship with Luke in their memories, like they were doing with Reg and Tony. It's comforting to know that if anything ever does happen to him for real, he would be mourned. For the first time in his life he feels the comfort in knowing that to be a fact, rather than a wish.
Once he's dropped off in front of his building, Noah shoulders his bags and rolls a new suitcase behind him as makes his way into the elevator, already missing fresh air and limitless blue skies. The apartment he has now is basic housing, looking the same from base to base. Once he's inside his apartment, he opens the laptop that is still sitting on his kitchen counter and sends an email off to Luke and the Snyders, letting them know he'd arrived safely. It feels good to know that someone is waiting for him to send that message, would be worried about him if he didn't.
Walking back to where he'd placed his bags, Noah looks at the suitcase that Emma had pressed into his hand and warned him not to open until he was back home. Kneeling in front of it, he lays it down so he can open it and unzips it, opening the top.
Inside is the quilt that had been lying on his bed at the farm, the one Emma had made for him. He takes it out of the suitcase and holds it in his arms, the scent of Luke and him mingled together wafting up and surrounding Noah. He stands up and walks to the bedroom, pulling off the used comforter Major McLane's wife had given to him when he'd needed to find house items quickly upon being discharged from Walter Reed.
Snapping the comforter so it ribbons out in an arch over the bed and then descends down on a cushion of air to cover it, Noah can smell the scents of the farmhouse and Luke coming off of the fabric, and for the first time the bedroom feels like somewhere he wants to spend time.
Smoothing out the material, he looks at the colors and pattern brightening up the beige of the room and feels something inside of him lighten as well. He almost doesn't want to leave, but he'd seen more items in the suitcase and it's only another moment before the curiosity outweighs the desire to stay there.
When he's back at the suitcase, the next thing he pulls out is a bag of coffee from Java, with messages written all over it by the people he'd worked with. He traces over the familiar names and smiles when he sees the note on the back from the owner, letting him know he has a job there anytime he wants it. Bringing it to the kitchen, he puts it in a place of honor on the counter, knowing he'll never open it, not wanting to risk doing anything to the notes written on the bag.
Going back to the suitcase, he pulls out a stuffed letter size envelope and grins as an explosion of crayon and glitter covered pages are found inside from Ethan and Natalie. He puts it on the kitchen counter by the fridge, mentally adding fridge magnets to his shopping list, since his hallway wall is getting a little full.
Going back again to the suitcase, Noah is confronted with a lot of square, flat boxes stacked inside. Pulling the first of them out, he sees they are picture frames. Opening the box, he pulls the frame and sees the inside is filled with a picture of Ethan sitting on his lap and playing with his hat at Tony's funeral. Whoever had taken it had printed it in black and white and Noah traces the sharply defined edges of Ethan's face, missing the little boy already.
He continues opening the boxes until he's surrounded with pictures of his life in Oakdale and everyone who is important to him. He spends the next half hour deciding where they all will go, and when he's finished, there is hardly a flat surface that doesn't have a picture on it.
He saves the best ones for beside his bed. The entire Snyder family, himself and Lucinda all squeezed into the confines of the picture frame, one of him and the Snyder kids, including Aaron, the boys getting their butts handed to them by the Natalie and Faith in Excuse Me!, and the last one is one of him and Luke, their backs to the camera, leaning in to each other talking, backlit by the sunlight sparkling off the water of the pond.
These are the people and things he wants to think about before going to sleep, and they are also the first thing he wants to see when nightmares invade his sleep and comfort feels a million miles away. Running his fingers over the quilt, he walks out of the bedroom and back to the suitcase.
Under the picture frames is the towel that Noah remembers from his first swim in Snyder Pond with Luke and the towel fight that had opened his eyes and tightened his shorts and made him run. It was also the very first time he felt the electricity that meeting your soul mate brings.
Smiling, he stands up and brings it into his bathroom, the blue and green of the towel the only color in the room. He almost wants to take his usual post-travel shower now, so he can wrap himself up in the towel and then slide under the quilt on the bed.
Reminding himself he has more unpacking to do, Noah goes back into the room and his steps falter as the only thing left in the suitcase is the stark, white rectangle of an envelope.
Reaching out, Noah sits back on his haunches as he recognizes Luke's handwriting on the front of it spelling out Noah's name.
Carefully, he turns it around in his fingers and opens the unsealed flap, sliding out the paper inside and unfolding it, almost afraid to breathe, in case it's not real.
Noah,
So, here it is. Your first letter from me. Hopefully, it's not too little, too late.
When I told you the reason I hadn't ever sent any of the letters I'd written you, you were a lot more understanding that I would have been, had the situation been reversed. After Tony's funeral, when the topic came up again you told me that you would have gladly read those letters, as full of bitterness as they were, because they were from me and true to how I was feeling.
So, I'm going to give you some truth right now. I don't want you to go back. I want you to stay here and never leave me again. I want to go to bed with you at night and wake up with you in the morning. I want to watch movies that make me fall asleep and then watch movies that make you roll your eyes at my bad taste. I want to make love with you and fight with you and then have make up sex with you. I want to know where your favorite blue shirt is and tell you that I'll do the laundry this week if you'll clean the bathroom. I want everything, all the big and little stuff. I want you Noah, as perfectly flawed as you are. I can only hope you want me, as flawed as I am.
As much as I'd like to just demand that you take the offer that Gerard is making you, I know that it needs to be your decision. That's why I didn't do anything to dissuade the rest of the family from packing up this suitcase to make your place on base more of a home. I hope it gives you a little bit of Oakdale where you are. Just know we all miss you. I miss you.
I think we've both learned how short life is and how quickly things can change, so just know this: I love you. Whether you come home in a week or a year, that's not going to change.
Luke
Noah folds the letter and feels a lightness in him that hadn't been there before. He doesn't feel like it's a choice between Luke or the Army anymore. No matter what he decides, he can still be with Luke. The weight that slides off of his shoulders almost makes him feel lightheaded. Smiling, he takes the letter and his suitcase and brings them both into the bedroom to finish unpacking.
When he reports in for duty at Major McLane's office the next morning, he files the paperwork on the escort trip and fills Gerard in on the details, from both the professional and personal sides. He makes sure not to bring up the offer that had been made, and Noah can tell that Gerard is looking for a way to bring it up without sounding like he's pushing Noah for an answer.
Noah knows that both Gerard and Luke are waiting on him to make a decision, but Noah feels like he needs to consider it without the shock of finding out what had happened in Oakdale, or the emotion of being in Oakdale with everyone he loves and who loves him being around. He hopes that Luke was being genuine when he said that he would be there for Noah regardless of the decision made.
Noah waits until the meeting with Gerard is winding down and pulls out the list of questions that he and Luke had written out. Noah feels a little jolt seeing Luke's writing on the list. It's like Luke is there with him in spirit, giving Noah the push he needs to hand Gerard the list and ask him for the answers to the questions.
"About the offer you made me before I left…"
Noah lets it dangle there for a second, before sliding the list towards Gerard. "I have some questions that I'd like to get some answers to."
Noah counts it as a measure of how much Gerard trusts him that he allows himself to look surprised in front of Noah, instead of his usual standard issue Army stone face.
"You haven't made a decision?"
The shock is evident in Gerard's tone and Noah shakes his head. "Not yet. I need some more information first."
Gerard looks over the list and nods. "I'll do my best to get the answers to all of these for you, son."
Noah nods and stands. "I'll get to work on cleaning up your appointment book. Again."
Gerard has the grace to look chagrined. "The blasted thing hates me."
Noah just chuckles and shakes his head at the ongoing war between Gerard and his appointment calendar program. Sitting down and bringing the program up, Noah's eyes widen as no less than seven errors all start blinking at him for attention. Whistling under his breath, Noah thinks that Gerard may be right about the program having it in for him.
As he's on the way out of the office that night, Gerard hands Noah a sealed manila envelope and Noah knows it's the answers to his questions. Sliding it into his bag, Noah knows he's got a long night of decision making in front of him.
Even though it had been the most grueling part of Basic Training, Noah is more surprised than anyone that he does his best thinking when his feet are hitting the pavement below him with the regularity of a pendulum. He thinks that maybe it's because running is a solitary thing where it's you and the path you're on and the contents of your own mind.
He uses the time on his early morning run to go over the decision he's made, weighing over the questions and answers again, measuring them up with his expectations and deciding if any of them are going to be deal-breakers.
By the time he rounds the last corner towards home, he's comfortable with his choice. He can only hope that everyone will support him, even if they are disappointed.
Once he goes into the office, Noah goes directly to Gerard’s office and asks for some of the older man's time. It's granted immediately and Noah closes the door behind him and tells Gerard the decision he's made.
Gerard sits back in his chair, his fingers steepled together and his elbows resting on his desk. "Not that I'm not happy with the decision you've made, but I have to ask. Are you sure, Noah?"
Noah pauses to consider Gerard's words and nods. "I am."
Nodding back, almost to himself, Gerard smiles. "Well, you better get back to work then."
Noah stands and smooths out the front of his uniform. "Yes, Sir. You didn't touch the calendar this morning did you?"
Gerard’s slightly guilty look is all Noah needs to see to know the other man has given him a good extra hour of work. "You enjoy torturing both me and that program, don't you?"
Smiling, Gerard motions towards the door. "Get out of here and fix it."
Shaking his head, Noah does as he's been ordered.
The Better Half of Me
Author: escapes
Artist: solostrightnow
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't own them, just the order the words are strung together in.
Characters/Pairings: luke/noah
Word Count: book 2: 26k plus Total: 60k
Warnings:You are going to have to trust me. Be warned that there is angst. Lots of it. i can't give you more without completely ruinding the story.
Spoilers: None
Summary:Sometimes the hardest battle in the war is finding your way back home.
Author’s Notes: Thanks for all your patience as I finished. In the course of writing this, I started a new job in a city an hour and a half away from where I live and I've been doing the worlds slowest move on record on my days off. And there was a trip and other stuff in there, so just...thanks for not yelling at me to get it done. Well, much anyway. =)
Special thanks to noelleleithefor the betas. I appreciate so much you managed it in the midst of everything else you have going on.
Link to Story Master Post: Book One
Link to Art Master Post: Click here for the awesome
As the driver of the car receives clearance into Fort Leonard Wood, Noah nods as they pass through the gate, but still maintains the silence that has fallen over him for much of this trip.
The reception after the funeral had been emotional and not all of that had been about Tony. He had been right about people holding back on talking to him because of the soldiers that were present. As soon as they had taken their leave, Noah was inundated with almost every person he'd ever had interaction with in Oakdale.
It had been humbling and overwhelming to see the reverberations in the community that the false news of his death had caused. He had been loved and he had been missed in Oakdale, and if the news had been true, this community would have claimed him and mourned him as one of their own. They would have kept his existence and his relationship with Luke in their memories, like they were doing with Reg and Tony. It's comforting to know that if anything ever does happen to him for real, he would be mourned. For the first time in his life he feels the comfort in knowing that to be a fact, rather than a wish.
Once he's dropped off in front of his building, Noah shoulders his bags and rolls a new suitcase behind him as makes his way into the elevator, already missing fresh air and limitless blue skies. The apartment he has now is basic housing, looking the same from base to base. Once he's inside his apartment, he opens the laptop that is still sitting on his kitchen counter and sends an email off to Luke and the Snyders, letting them know he'd arrived safely. It feels good to know that someone is waiting for him to send that message, would be worried about him if he didn't.
Walking back to where he'd placed his bags, Noah looks at the suitcase that Emma had pressed into his hand and warned him not to open until he was back home. Kneeling in front of it, he lays it down so he can open it and unzips it, opening the top.
Inside is the quilt that had been lying on his bed at the farm, the one Emma had made for him. He takes it out of the suitcase and holds it in his arms, the scent of Luke and him mingled together wafting up and surrounding Noah. He stands up and walks to the bedroom, pulling off the used comforter Major McLane's wife had given to him when he'd needed to find house items quickly upon being discharged from Walter Reed.
Snapping the comforter so it ribbons out in an arch over the bed and then descends down on a cushion of air to cover it, Noah can smell the scents of the farmhouse and Luke coming off of the fabric, and for the first time the bedroom feels like somewhere he wants to spend time.
Smoothing out the material, he looks at the colors and pattern brightening up the beige of the room and feels something inside of him lighten as well. He almost doesn't want to leave, but he'd seen more items in the suitcase and it's only another moment before the curiosity outweighs the desire to stay there.
When he's back at the suitcase, the next thing he pulls out is a bag of coffee from Java, with messages written all over it by the people he'd worked with. He traces over the familiar names and smiles when he sees the note on the back from the owner, letting him know he has a job there anytime he wants it. Bringing it to the kitchen, he puts it in a place of honor on the counter, knowing he'll never open it, not wanting to risk doing anything to the notes written on the bag.
Going back to the suitcase, he pulls out a stuffed letter size envelope and grins as an explosion of crayon and glitter covered pages are found inside from Ethan and Natalie. He puts it on the kitchen counter by the fridge, mentally adding fridge magnets to his shopping list, since his hallway wall is getting a little full.
Going back again to the suitcase, Noah is confronted with a lot of square, flat boxes stacked inside. Pulling the first of them out, he sees they are picture frames. Opening the box, he pulls the frame and sees the inside is filled with a picture of Ethan sitting on his lap and playing with his hat at Tony's funeral. Whoever had taken it had printed it in black and white and Noah traces the sharply defined edges of Ethan's face, missing the little boy already.
He continues opening the boxes until he's surrounded with pictures of his life in Oakdale and everyone who is important to him. He spends the next half hour deciding where they all will go, and when he's finished, there is hardly a flat surface that doesn't have a picture on it.
He saves the best ones for beside his bed. The entire Snyder family, himself and Lucinda all squeezed into the confines of the picture frame, one of him and the Snyder kids, including Aaron, the boys getting their butts handed to them by the Natalie and Faith in Excuse Me!, and the last one is one of him and Luke, their backs to the camera, leaning in to each other talking, backlit by the sunlight sparkling off the water of the pond.
These are the people and things he wants to think about before going to sleep, and they are also the first thing he wants to see when nightmares invade his sleep and comfort feels a million miles away. Running his fingers over the quilt, he walks out of the bedroom and back to the suitcase.
Under the picture frames is the towel that Noah remembers from his first swim in Snyder Pond with Luke and the towel fight that had opened his eyes and tightened his shorts and made him run. It was also the very first time he felt the electricity that meeting your soul mate brings.
Smiling, he stands up and brings it into his bathroom, the blue and green of the towel the only color in the room. He almost wants to take his usual post-travel shower now, so he can wrap himself up in the towel and then slide under the quilt on the bed.
Reminding himself he has more unpacking to do, Noah goes back into the room and his steps falter as the only thing left in the suitcase is the stark, white rectangle of an envelope.
Reaching out, Noah sits back on his haunches as he recognizes Luke's handwriting on the front of it spelling out Noah's name.
Carefully, he turns it around in his fingers and opens the unsealed flap, sliding out the paper inside and unfolding it, almost afraid to breathe, in case it's not real.
Noah,
So, here it is. Your first letter from me. Hopefully, it's not too little, too late.
When I told you the reason I hadn't ever sent any of the letters I'd written you, you were a lot more understanding that I would have been, had the situation been reversed. After Tony's funeral, when the topic came up again you told me that you would have gladly read those letters, as full of bitterness as they were, because they were from me and true to how I was feeling.
So, I'm going to give you some truth right now. I don't want you to go back. I want you to stay here and never leave me again. I want to go to bed with you at night and wake up with you in the morning. I want to watch movies that make me fall asleep and then watch movies that make you roll your eyes at my bad taste. I want to make love with you and fight with you and then have make up sex with you. I want to know where your favorite blue shirt is and tell you that I'll do the laundry this week if you'll clean the bathroom. I want everything, all the big and little stuff. I want you Noah, as perfectly flawed as you are. I can only hope you want me, as flawed as I am.
As much as I'd like to just demand that you take the offer that Gerard is making you, I know that it needs to be your decision. That's why I didn't do anything to dissuade the rest of the family from packing up this suitcase to make your place on base more of a home. I hope it gives you a little bit of Oakdale where you are. Just know we all miss you. I miss you.
I think we've both learned how short life is and how quickly things can change, so just know this: I love you. Whether you come home in a week or a year, that's not going to change.
Luke
Noah folds the letter and feels a lightness in him that hadn't been there before. He doesn't feel like it's a choice between Luke or the Army anymore. No matter what he decides, he can still be with Luke. The weight that slides off of his shoulders almost makes him feel lightheaded. Smiling, he takes the letter and his suitcase and brings them both into the bedroom to finish unpacking.
When he reports in for duty at Major McLane's office the next morning, he files the paperwork on the escort trip and fills Gerard in on the details, from both the professional and personal sides. He makes sure not to bring up the offer that had been made, and Noah can tell that Gerard is looking for a way to bring it up without sounding like he's pushing Noah for an answer.
Noah knows that both Gerard and Luke are waiting on him to make a decision, but Noah feels like he needs to consider it without the shock of finding out what had happened in Oakdale, or the emotion of being in Oakdale with everyone he loves and who loves him being around. He hopes that Luke was being genuine when he said that he would be there for Noah regardless of the decision made.
Noah waits until the meeting with Gerard is winding down and pulls out the list of questions that he and Luke had written out. Noah feels a little jolt seeing Luke's writing on the list. It's like Luke is there with him in spirit, giving Noah the push he needs to hand Gerard the list and ask him for the answers to the questions.
"About the offer you made me before I left…"
Noah lets it dangle there for a second, before sliding the list towards Gerard. "I have some questions that I'd like to get some answers to."
Noah counts it as a measure of how much Gerard trusts him that he allows himself to look surprised in front of Noah, instead of his usual standard issue Army stone face.
"You haven't made a decision?"
The shock is evident in Gerard's tone and Noah shakes his head. "Not yet. I need some more information first."
Gerard looks over the list and nods. "I'll do my best to get the answers to all of these for you, son."
Noah nods and stands. "I'll get to work on cleaning up your appointment book. Again."
Gerard has the grace to look chagrined. "The blasted thing hates me."
Noah just chuckles and shakes his head at the ongoing war between Gerard and his appointment calendar program. Sitting down and bringing the program up, Noah's eyes widen as no less than seven errors all start blinking at him for attention. Whistling under his breath, Noah thinks that Gerard may be right about the program having it in for him.
As he's on the way out of the office that night, Gerard hands Noah a sealed manila envelope and Noah knows it's the answers to his questions. Sliding it into his bag, Noah knows he's got a long night of decision making in front of him.
Even though it had been the most grueling part of Basic Training, Noah is more surprised than anyone that he does his best thinking when his feet are hitting the pavement below him with the regularity of a pendulum. He thinks that maybe it's because running is a solitary thing where it's you and the path you're on and the contents of your own mind.
He uses the time on his early morning run to go over the decision he's made, weighing over the questions and answers again, measuring them up with his expectations and deciding if any of them are going to be deal-breakers.
By the time he rounds the last corner towards home, he's comfortable with his choice. He can only hope that everyone will support him, even if they are disappointed.
Once he goes into the office, Noah goes directly to Gerard’s office and asks for some of the older man's time. It's granted immediately and Noah closes the door behind him and tells Gerard the decision he's made.
Gerard sits back in his chair, his fingers steepled together and his elbows resting on his desk. "Not that I'm not happy with the decision you've made, but I have to ask. Are you sure, Noah?"
Noah pauses to consider Gerard's words and nods. "I am."
Nodding back, almost to himself, Gerard smiles. "Well, you better get back to work then."
Noah stands and smooths out the front of his uniform. "Yes, Sir. You didn't touch the calendar this morning did you?"
Gerard’s slightly guilty look is all Noah needs to see to know the other man has given him a good extra hour of work. "You enjoy torturing both me and that program, don't you?"
Smiling, Gerard motions towards the door. "Get out of here and fix it."
Shaking his head, Noah does as he's been ordered.
The Better Half of Me