(no subject)
I swear I have a legitimate reason for not calling back. I SWEAR!!
Homecoming came and went. An all around good night; fun people, loud music, darkness, and good food. But I'm sure you've already heard all the wonderful details by now.
I've realized that I've spent the majority of my life either looking to the future or the past, and rarely the present. I know it's human nature to constantly look forward, to plan and scheme, to look for ways to change life. But those few blessed occasions that the present is just right, and you can step back from what's actually happening to enjoy it while its happening are truly priceless. Looking back (ha, the beauty of it all) on the times when everything fit, and I wasn't worried about what would happen, or what already happened I realize that the only reason I could enjoy it was because the moment fit my personal definition of perfection. It was the way I wanted it, so I finally enjoyed it. How selfish we are. Or rather, how selfish I am.
I've begun to think of life as looking to the past, and waiting for the future to bring me one of these perfect moments. To just be perfectly, utterly, unexplicably content for a little while. I guess all that's left now is to wait, and analyze, and wait some more. And after the wait is over, I'll revel in the beauty of the moment, and go back to waiting, and analyzing, and waiting some more. The never ending cycle.