ST TOS: This Above All, chapter 5
Title: This Above All (Chapter 5: Spock)
Rating: T
Word count: 788 (this chapter)
Warnings: vague spoilers for The Enterprise Incident, a slightly, slightly off-balance Spock
Pairings: none
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek…but that's not a no-win scenario, now is it?
Summary: Five times Jim Kirk went all Shakespeare on his crew, and one time they went all Shakespeare back on him.
A/N: Set the ship's night before The Enterprise Incident.
James Kirk paced the length of his quarters, up and down, restlessly, ceaselessly, a golden lion trapped in a cage.
Spock watched.
Spock watched with impassive features, even as within him welled a tumult of emotions and desires - emotions and desires he would have preferred to analyze, compartmentalize and control, were it not for the fact that the very presence of Jim Kirk - most illogically - put paid to any effort in that direction.
Jim was in a state of disquiet. Spock knew that - had known it before he was granted permission to enter, before it caused their chess game to be abandoned due to a lack of concentration on the part - illogical to deny it - of both players. Spock knew, and therefore remained in the captain's quarters in silent support - and, yes - empathy.
The plan was brilliant - as all Jim Kirk's were, even those cobbled together from sulphur and diamond. Audacious and perilous and the only hope they had - and the captain, like himself, deplored the mission that demanded it.
They were three weeks into that mission. Three weeks of winch-taut, coiled-spring stringency, of curt orders and whiplash reprimands - almost three entire weeks without that golden, radiant smile. The act had gathered momentum as the days wore on and become less and less of one, for all Jim had had to do was channel the irritation he did feel. It was no wonder that the Doctor insisted, in his idiosyncratic turn of phrase, that one could cut the atmosphere on the Bridge with a knife; the crew sensed beneath the captain's peremptory exterior the venom they had no way of knowing was not directed at them.
Insanity, with its many forms and iterations, was by its very nature the surest defence in the Federation; within or without the confines of the latter, it was invariably treated with the utmost caution. Each species by virtue of genetic constitution tended towards a variety of imbalance; certain individuals merely - so to speak - took the plunge. Jim Kirk was of those who paced the fine line between genius and madness, and paced it with aplomb.
Since the mission briefing one thought had been foremost on the captain's mind - had rolled off it in waves: they must not know. The deniability, the safety of his crew took precedence for him above all else, and above and beyond the call of duty, Spock had come to share that conviction. Wordless apologies had passed between them for the involvement of each in what the other desired no part in; equally wordlessly, they stood united in their resolve.
The success of any trap, Jim had said to Admiral Stone the night of the briefing, lies in its fundamental simplicity. The reverse trap by nature of its single complication must be swift and simpler still.
Military secrets, he had said to Spock later with truth and bitterness in his tone, are the most fleeting of all.
The restlessness of the man was building to a crescendo. No doubt it would peak in the early hours of ship's dawn, then gradually fade in cadence with the smooth progression of his plan. No doubt he was going over that very stratagem with what humans referred to as a fine-toothed comb, confirming and reconfirming that possibility after possibility was accounted for. No doubt the bowstring tension in every fibre of his being was testament not only to his strength but to his restraint.
And yet, if the Vulcan were honest with himself - and that was, after all, the Vulcan way -
Was it not his own insecurity that led him to remain?
Had he not proposed the chess game in order to steady himself in the constancy of Jim? Had he not gravitated here in the hope - if ever so slight - of finding strength in the captain's own? And was he not afraid - illogically afraid - of failing the very man whose solace he sought?
And did not Jim Kirk - perceptive Jim of the gentle smile, of the countless fadeless ways to put a Vulcan at his ease aboard a Starfleet ship - did not Captain Kirk know exactly what had drawn his First Officer in tonight like the proverbial moth to the lamp?
- And of course he did, for the pacing had ceased, and as Spock watched the sunshine drew hesitantly closer. Gently the human - always careful not to instigate skin-to-skin contact - took hold of the Vulcan's upper arms, and Spock caught fleeting, well-worn threads of over soon and get some rest and the faintest trace of you wax lyrical, Captain before, for the first time in hours, looking steadfastly into the eyes of his First, Jim spoke aloud.
"Spock," he said, "only look up clear. To alter favour ever is to fear. Leave all the rest to me."
A/N:
• I'm aware that Spock doesn't sound quite his usual self here, but bear in mind that these are unusual circumstances even for the Enterprise, and both Captain and First have been under great strain.
• Spock's Military secrets are the most fleeting of all to the Romulan Commander sounded to me as though it were meant as a quote - so he could either have been quoting an author from our future…or Jim. I took the latter route. :P
• I should probably curb my tendency to slip bonus quotes into things, but since I have more leeway on that front in fanfic than original work:
The success of any trap lies in its fundamental simplicity. The reverse trap by nature of its single complication must be swift and simpler still. Robert Ludlum, The Bourne Identity
You wax lyrical, Captain. Alistair MacLean, Where Eagles Dare
Both of which my headcanon-Jim has read, naturally. The Bourne Identity is my favourite book of all time, and no kidding, '60s-era Shatner would have made the perfect Jason Bourne. Also if anyone has read Where Eagles Dare, the Smith-Schaffer relationship in the book is pretty much exactly how I see Kirk and Scotty. Also I'm not considering the film of either of the books.
• Originally I didn't intend to repeat a play, but Macbeth was just too delicious to pass up. Sorry. =D
Only look up clear.
To alter favour ever is to fear.
Leave all the rest to me. (Macbeth act I, scene V)