the perks of being a wallflower
dear pearl,
dont think im crazy
cause im not i swear.
well i hope.
i just dont know who else to talk toand its late and no ones around and im just here with my thoughts and i cant keep thinking my thoughts cause they're driving me CRAZY and the music just wont get loud enough.
but i realzed how much i suck. i suck at getting things done. i just never take the initiative and im dumb for that. i want things to happen but i just wait for some reason b/c like i dont think i deserve them or something. i seriously dont even know why.
god pearl i've never felt this strange before. i feel so alone right now. in this moment sitting here alone. alone. and the music wont get louder. and i just want to stop thinking cause thinking scares me. im scared of geting old. it terrifies me. and im afraid of being young. cause its getting so stagnant and im just in the middle alone. im in the middle being crushed form both sides. and im still so alone. and you can understand this pearl. you know what its like to be alone in front of thousands of people. and i dont mean that i dont have friends cause i do i just mean right now at this exact moment i feel alone as im sitting here. the record stopped. im still sitting here typing and now its so quite. its so quiet and all i was is some noise. any noise to just take me away from her and just make me feel like im not alone. like right now there is someone. cause right now i need someone. right now.
all i wanna do is cry pearl. i wanna cry and cry and scream and kick and punch and scrath and just tear down these walls all around me. and i wanna run.i wanna run so far away. but i dont want to run alone i want to be running towards someone. i want to have someone waiting for me at the finish line. like my reward. and i know who i want to be waiting there. and im gonna get them to wait there. and im gonna run into their arms pearl. im gonna runs straight into their arms and you know what else? their going to be waiting for me too. they're going to want me to run into them and their gonna want to wrap them around me. im going to make this happen pearl. im going to.
god i just dont know what i'll do if it doesnt.
i dont take my tranquilizers anymore.
~joe~
dont think im crazy
cause im not i swear.
well i hope.
i just dont know who else to talk toand its late and no ones around and im just here with my thoughts and i cant keep thinking my thoughts cause they're driving me CRAZY and the music just wont get loud enough.
but i realzed how much i suck. i suck at getting things done. i just never take the initiative and im dumb for that. i want things to happen but i just wait for some reason b/c like i dont think i deserve them or something. i seriously dont even know why.
god pearl i've never felt this strange before. i feel so alone right now. in this moment sitting here alone. alone. and the music wont get louder. and i just want to stop thinking cause thinking scares me. im scared of geting old. it terrifies me. and im afraid of being young. cause its getting so stagnant and im just in the middle alone. im in the middle being crushed form both sides. and im still so alone. and you can understand this pearl. you know what its like to be alone in front of thousands of people. and i dont mean that i dont have friends cause i do i just mean right now at this exact moment i feel alone as im sitting here. the record stopped. im still sitting here typing and now its so quite. its so quiet and all i was is some noise. any noise to just take me away from her and just make me feel like im not alone. like right now there is someone. cause right now i need someone. right now.
all i wanna do is cry pearl. i wanna cry and cry and scream and kick and punch and scrath and just tear down these walls all around me. and i wanna run.i wanna run so far away. but i dont want to run alone i want to be running towards someone. i want to have someone waiting for me at the finish line. like my reward. and i know who i want to be waiting there. and im gonna get them to wait there. and im gonna run into their arms pearl. im gonna runs straight into their arms and you know what else? their going to be waiting for me too. they're going to want me to run into them and their gonna want to wrap them around me. im going to make this happen pearl. im going to.
god i just dont know what i'll do if it doesnt.
i dont take my tranquilizers anymore.
~joe~