Im not a damned bit tired!!!
Yeah you heard me. Its almost 2 in the morning on a school night and Im not even nears being tired. Tried to listen soft boring music seeing if that would put me to sleep but o no, not a single song fucking helped. Well, after allt aht said, there is something I want to say,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Kelly and her "friend" are bitches, bitches. Yeah, they suck way too many fake dicks, and probally ate out too many pussies. What happened was this. Dustin asked Kelly if she wanted to come over and chill. She said "yeah ill be there around 5". So Dustin got all excited. Well let me tell you something, I had and have bad vibes about Kelly. Anyway, she calls like around 4 and asked if her "friend" could also come. Well Dustin, of course, said sure. Well let me make this shorter. They basically talk to eachother the whole fucking time. I was like ok umm first of all, you came to see Dustin, not to socialize with eachother. Well, It turned out that they were sexual partners. When they left I fucking left like so many hate messages on their im. They of course thought they didnt do anything wrong. Ok advice for them. If they wanna eat eachother out and shit, do that somewhere else, dont talk about that shit at someone elses house. And, dont talk shit about me or Dustin. even though sometimes hes off, we all are in a way, maybe not his way though but still. Anyway. Didnt even mention the whole "friend" flirting with me, well, thats what Dustin told me anyway but now she hates me cause I told her off. And it felt good bitches, real good. So then to top it off, me and him went to mcdonalds to get some grub and we had to wait fuck! 1 hour for our food. Fuck that shit!!! Mcdonalds workers must eat shit and die! Hehe sry bout that. Yeah well Im still not tired after all that. :( I dont wanna go tot school tommorow. Maybe I will jus harass my teachers and hopefully get sent home, then again, maybe even get suspended or expelled, that would be awesome, then, I can go to northern and hang out with ppl I thought but dont really know. Guess i can make some friends. Dont have enough of them. And alot stab you in the back, and treat you liek shit, and get you in trouble, and really dont care what happens to you, or really dont even like you or love you. Family especially. They hate the bad guy which in my household is me. Yeah, its not easy being the only guy in your house. You have to cook for them, clean for them, basically kiss their asses or your evil and rebelious. Ok whatever. Its just really hard. So many thoughts come to mind. Like why did my dad have to be abusive, why do i get stuck with all the shit, why is everybody pooring their shit onto me, why even bother living, is it worth it, yes it is. There are ppl or a person which ever in your case that really do care about you, not just say they do, not just pretend to either. Its weird, for some reason you can tell if they are truelly loving towards you. Then you get those times when you feel like they are just fucking around with you. how though? It feels so authentic. But trust me, it happens. It happened to me plebty of times, and I honestly dont know what would become of me if it happens again. At first it makes you shocked, doesnt really come into affect yet, then a couple days later or, for me, a couple hours, you feel it. Tehn you feel sick with pain, when it feels like your chest is caved in and you can barely breath, you know its happened. Then, a couple days later you feel like shit. I dunno. You guys are probally thinking "wow! what an emo freak". Well, think what you wanna think, Im just telling you how it is. But one thing you dont wanna do is fall into alot of shit. Drinks only help for a while. I tried. When you wake up after words, everything feels the same as it was the other night, same old pain, same old sick feeling in your chest and stomach. Yeah, I think I finally told it how it was for me. But, as you all know, life goes on for those who want it to. If anybody actually reads all this shit and has questions about stuff or wanna talk about it, Im all for that. And no, I dont tell other ppl the shit you guys tell me. I swear. Wow, being like this sucks. Just to think about how this is like nothing yet, makes me wanna get sick. I somehow feel better after all this. Yeah, I still have alot to think about though, still trying to figure out what I am going to do with my life. Its not looking so pretty. Ok well enough said. I will luv anybody that reads this whole thing. well or les sur a guy or a girl. umm nm that. jsut i would be surprised, hows that. Ok im done my shit.