1st ♥ [Written | Action]

[erythrophilia]

Dearest diary

Comments

[pretty_fascist]

[Here, have an equally vain and insane teenager. They can have bitch fights over who's the prettiest or something. IDK.]

You're weird. No wonder the Malnosso kidnapped such a weird person.

[erythrophilia]

I am not "weird." I am "colorful." There is a dif--

Who are you?

[pretty_fascist]

Colorful. Right. Nice euphemism. I bet you have magic too, don't you? Well, I know magic too! [No, he doesn't. He's trying to learn, but failing.]

I'm Dilandau Albatou, a Captain in the Zaibach Copper Army.

[erythrophilia]

Magic? Why should you assume such a thing? I might just be your average beautiful lady and nothing more--

Captain? You're a captain? Well, how do you do?

[pretty_fascist]

Because. There are all these freaks here who think they're so great and superior just because they can do magic.

Lady? Like hell. . .

Not only am I a captain, but I'm the youngest captain. My soldiers are also elites; we're important. [brag brag.]

Um. I do as well as anyone stuck in this hell hole, I guess. And trust me, it is a hell hole. So. I guess I should welcome you to hell. Welcome. You won't enjoy your stay. It's shit here: boring and full of morons. I'm just warning you.

[erythrophilia]

Dear, you have no idea what Hell is like. This is more like an upper level of Purgatory.

[Doot doot doot, he eats it up until Dilandau gets to the part about being a young captain. Cradle robbing? No thanks.]

I am a lady, so don't be rude. Captains should always mind their manners. It sets a good example for the infantry.

[pretty_fascist]

This is my own personal version of Hell. The experiments. The people. I couldn't imagine anything worse. Just wait until you've been here a week or two. You'll see.

Yeah, because manners are so important in times of war. But, whatever, "Lady." Or do you have another name I can call you?

[erythrophilia]

Experiments? What experiments?

Manners are always important, especially in war. Why let yourselves go to the beasts simply because of a little blood?

As for my name, I am Grell Sutcliffe. A pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Captain.

[pretty_fascist]

The Malnosso. The ones who brought you here. They'll fuck with your head with weird experiments. Sometimes they might even torture you physically, for whatever twisted reason. They don't care that you're a "lady." You might as well be a mouse in their eyes.

Huh. You don't know much about war, do you?

I know it is, Grell.

[erythrophilia]

...So what. Are they demons or some such? Out for our souls?

Oh, darling, I know more about war than you think. Just not from the side you are on.

[pretty_fascist]

I don't know what they are. I think they're scientists.

Oh Christ. You're not a pacifist type, are you?

[erythrophilia]

Ah, the men of science and logic. Such a narrowminded group.

Please don't take the Lord's Son's name in vain, dear. It tends to upset Him. And I'm less of a pacifist and more of...an interested third party.

[pretty_fascist]

Religious type. Even worse. There are angels here too, you know.

[erythrophilia]

Not the religious type, more of--

....angels. Here? We're not dead, are we? That shall make me very unhappy.

[pretty_fascist]

No, but we might as well be. No one's even going to know we're missing, because, um.

God, this is ridiculous. I mean. Whatever. This is ridiculous.

Folken says. . . People say. . . That relative to here, time stops where we come from. I don't know how it works! I don't even know if it's true, but I assume it is, because otherwise my Dragonslayers would have found me by now.

[erythrophilia]

[Again with taking the Lord's name in vain. Grell will just sigh at you, Dilandau. Not...that he can hear, but yes.]

Time stops. How can time just stop? That just--

You're not making any sense, dear Captain. I do suggest you start explaining or I shall be very cross with you.