This is why i shouldn't read comics before bed.
Sometimes I wonder what I would do if, while looking out my bedroom window, i saw a zombie shuffling down 9th street. I assume I'd call the local police station first seeing as how they are but one block away and have access to a formidable arsenal and sweet helicopters.
No, scratch that. First I'd make damn sure it was really a zombie and not just some unkempt drifter looking for a soft spot to "crash". The last thing i need is for the cops to label me as one of those guys who always calls in and reports things that, upon investigation, turn out to be not the thing reported, but something humorously similar (as i'm sure they have many). I'm already in the system as a shoplifter and an alchoholic. I don't need to add "crazy asshole that thinks homeless people are zombies."
I'd grab my roomates' binoculars and see if I could verify any distinctly zomb-ish features. Visible signs of decay, missing appendages, gaping holes in the torso area, etc. Upon confirmation of my original assumption, I'd then call. You know, I think I'd just leave the police out altogether. They'd find out soon enough.
I'd probably call a few people and cash in on all those "i bet you 50 bucks that the world will end in a zombie apocalypse" wagers I often make. I, not usually a gambling man, find that those are the best bets to make seeing as how if i lose, hey, no zombie apocalypse. However, if i win, the reign of mankind on this planet may be at an end, but i'm a couple hundred bucks richer...at least until society decays to the point where the only real forms of currency are batteries and women...like during the depression. I'd probably spend that money on canned food and bottled water...or batteries and women, come to think of it.
Ever the foreward thinker, i'd then shoot all my loved ones so as to eliminate the chance of them becoming zombies and things getting awkward down the line. Then i'd go to canada because zombies don't like it there and get to work sowing the seeds of a new generation with the women i purchased.
Seems like a good plan. Now i need to work out a plan if i spot vampires or werewolves. I should probably figure out what i'd do if my building catches fire, too.
Sorry, it's 5am and i cant sleep.
No, scratch that. First I'd make damn sure it was really a zombie and not just some unkempt drifter looking for a soft spot to "crash". The last thing i need is for the cops to label me as one of those guys who always calls in and reports things that, upon investigation, turn out to be not the thing reported, but something humorously similar (as i'm sure they have many). I'm already in the system as a shoplifter and an alchoholic. I don't need to add "crazy asshole that thinks homeless people are zombies."
I'd grab my roomates' binoculars and see if I could verify any distinctly zomb-ish features. Visible signs of decay, missing appendages, gaping holes in the torso area, etc. Upon confirmation of my original assumption, I'd then call. You know, I think I'd just leave the police out altogether. They'd find out soon enough.
I'd probably call a few people and cash in on all those "i bet you 50 bucks that the world will end in a zombie apocalypse" wagers I often make. I, not usually a gambling man, find that those are the best bets to make seeing as how if i lose, hey, no zombie apocalypse. However, if i win, the reign of mankind on this planet may be at an end, but i'm a couple hundred bucks richer...at least until society decays to the point where the only real forms of currency are batteries and women...like during the depression. I'd probably spend that money on canned food and bottled water...or batteries and women, come to think of it.
Ever the foreward thinker, i'd then shoot all my loved ones so as to eliminate the chance of them becoming zombies and things getting awkward down the line. Then i'd go to canada because zombies don't like it there and get to work sowing the seeds of a new generation with the women i purchased.
Seems like a good plan. Now i need to work out a plan if i spot vampires or werewolves. I should probably figure out what i'd do if my building catches fire, too.
Sorry, it's 5am and i cant sleep.