However much you want me, I swear I'll make you want me more
I feel kinda shit and delicate today. It's annoying.
I'm so panicky about exams and revision. I know you can never do enough, but I feel so guilty about it. Mum is so fucking unhelpful as well. It's always 'So have you worked then?' 'Are you working?' 'You have time for this but you don't have time to work...' I do work! I fucking word hard! I work so hard that I'm touchy about it, it worries me if I'm not doing it, if I could be doing it constantly I would. But I can't. And then that makes me feel that I'm not good enough. I just need people to tell me that really I'm fine.
I want to do well in these exams. I need to do well. Not least, pathetically, because it's Pates. It's a bit sad, but I can't help it. And I am conscientious, so it shouldn't make the blindest bit of difference, and I guess it doesn't but something still niggles at me.
I want to do well and I'm scared I won't. They're on Weds. Mum always gets at me for seeing Cheveyo. I do need to see Cheveyo. I am capable of working when I'm around him and I do, but sometimes it's just nice to not think about it and be with someone I love who can hold me and tell me I'll be fine and I am good enough. Whereas all I get from mum is pressure.
So sorry if I snap at you, or look miserable. I'm scared. And after Weds I'll have dealt with it. Tell me I'll be ok, though, yeah?
*hugs* Love you all :D
I'm so panicky about exams and revision. I know you can never do enough, but I feel so guilty about it. Mum is so fucking unhelpful as well. It's always 'So have you worked then?' 'Are you working?' 'You have time for this but you don't have time to work...' I do work! I fucking word hard! I work so hard that I'm touchy about it, it worries me if I'm not doing it, if I could be doing it constantly I would. But I can't. And then that makes me feel that I'm not good enough. I just need people to tell me that really I'm fine.
I want to do well in these exams. I need to do well. Not least, pathetically, because it's Pates. It's a bit sad, but I can't help it. And I am conscientious, so it shouldn't make the blindest bit of difference, and I guess it doesn't but something still niggles at me.
I want to do well and I'm scared I won't. They're on Weds. Mum always gets at me for seeing Cheveyo. I do need to see Cheveyo. I am capable of working when I'm around him and I do, but sometimes it's just nice to not think about it and be with someone I love who can hold me and tell me I'll be fine and I am good enough. Whereas all I get from mum is pressure.
So sorry if I snap at you, or look miserable. I'm scared. And after Weds I'll have dealt with it. Tell me I'll be ok, though, yeah?
*hugs* Love you all :D